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Grandchild for a summer break?

(37 Posts)
Juniper1 Wed 08-Jul-20 17:40:15

Grandchild usually comes for school hols, half term and week in the summer.
Wrestling to decide whether she can come this August. We are early 70’s, healthy, fit. In East Midlands. Child is 8, healthy fit, from London.

We want to see her, she wants to see us. We usually do a whole variety of activities not currently available. Can we say yes or is it more sensible to keep ourselves save for the future?
Cannot find the means to decide.

Whitewavemark2 Wed 08-Jul-20 18:08:18

What a dilemma!

I would have her like a shot, but no one can make that decision except yourselves and the child’s parent.

MissAdventure Wed 08-Jul-20 18:11:06

Does she mix with other families when she's with you?

Septimia Wed 08-Jul-20 18:27:37

We have exactly the same problem. GC is 9.

No intention of going anywhere ourselves beforehand, so GC is more of a threat to us. Activities while here will be in garden and for walks mostly.

Two families can visit and stay overnight if they socially distance. Most 8 and 9 year olds don't need much physical 'looking after', so I would have thought that it would only mean a minor and calculated stretching of the rules - if they haven't changed again by August.

Susan56 Wed 08-Jul-20 19:37:49

I agree with Whitewave.I wouldn’t hesitate to have her if you are all healthy but only you can make the decision.

paddyanne Wed 08-Jul-20 19:49:57

Children in Scotland age 12 or under dont need to socially distance as of last Friday ,above 12 the rule /advice is they must still distance.My GC all visited their great granny for cuddles at the weekend and it made her day ..the rule may change in England if the numbers go down ,maybe just wait and see

Juniper1 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:31:41

She does mix with other families at her home, and she is at school. she might mix with others here. Our concern is her bringing the virus with her to us, we can amuse her with cycling ,picnics, movies on tv etc.

H1954 Thu 09-Jul-20 07:39:35

The sensible approach by her parents might be to keep her away from other children/families in the two weeks prior to visiting you to lessen the risk of her 'bringing anything with her' surely?
I all be having two of mine to stay, they're siblings, it is our special time and they have no desire to mix with local children, we have a full programme planned with alternatives in case of a turn in the weather.

Gingergirl Thu 09-Jul-20 09:05:27

To put it bluntly, government advice is that an overnight stay is possible provided you all social distance. I would say that even with the best of intentions, young children can’t/won’t. We have a similar situation but our gc are younger. I think on balance that to put a child in that position, is unfair and also if they were mine, I’d worry about the emotional impact of having to social distance for a long period would have. It is our whole family that want to visit. We have seen them for a day but we have decided that we can’t extend that for longer with the way things stand. If someone became ill, how would we all feel? If we would have regrets (which we would) , then it probably isn’t the best thing to do. We have in reality, no idea of the risk, but it’s important I think, to do what you feel comfortable with.

Topcat7 Thu 09-Jul-20 09:14:21

All I can say is we are having my 2 grandchildren stay with us for a week at the end of August they are 4 and 8, we live in Basingstoke and the children in Milton Keynes. We are slightly younger than you being 64 and 58 and both in good health. The decision has to be yours and yours alone just do what you feel is right.

Soniah Thu 09-Jul-20 09:21:28

These are the rules in Wales, if you choose one household you don't have to socially distance. I shall have my son and family here in the summer, the two grandsons will stay for a couple of weeks on their own but my son works from home, the whole family aren't mixing with people, the children are part time at school but he is going to isolate them for two weeks before they come as soon as school finishes so risk will be small, we are told no need to distance with that one familyhttps://gov.wales/coronavirus-social-distancing-guidance

4allweknow Thu 09-Jul-20 09:22:40

Having 8 year old for a week in a couple of week's time. Will be part of our bubble and we are going off in our caravan. Given that complete strangers can sit and eat at a supposed distance of 2 mtrs, visit toilets (very enclosed spaces) I feel having my GC to stay is a very minimal risk.

MarieEliza Thu 09-Jul-20 09:32:25

Our son and DIL are coming from London next week but we have suggested Airbnb instead of staying with us. Kids are 5 and 3 so socially distancing would be almost impossible. We will meet up with them on beach and gardens and eat outside

sandelf Thu 09-Jul-20 09:36:52

If you and your GC seriously minimise for 14 days before and do not mix with others during the stay the risk will be small. so to me it depends on whether you and your extended family are prepared for the inconvenience this involves.

Hickman36 Thu 09-Jul-20 09:41:38

We are still waiting to see if we can look after our grandchildren when my daughterinlaw goes back to work in 4 weeks my local councillor ssys no becase we are a coiple of grandparents not a single grandparent. However how can people go back to work if there is no one to look after their children and they both need to work to pay bills. We are under 60 year old grandparents no health problems and I feel we will have no choice but to help them out.

Pinkrinse Thu 09-Jul-20 10:00:40

We are having the grandchildren to stay over the summer, but we are early 60's and 70's both fit and healthy with no underlying conditions - so think the risk is low. We each have to make our own decisions, what's right for one ma not be for someone else.

Rhinestone Thu 09-Jul-20 10:05:26

Would it be possible for everyone to quarantine for two weeks before meeting? Also if everyone got tested before that seems safer.

sweetcakes Thu 09-Jul-20 10:07:10

Can she not be tested then you would have peace of mind?

Applegran Thu 09-Jul-20 10:07:15

I am not sure what I'd do, but for me the safety issue is not so much about what the government allows (though that is important) but weighing up what the actual risk is, based on what we hear from health experts. How would the child or children, or their parents, feel, if, unknowingly, the child infects us as grandparents? And I want to stay healthy - I will die one day, don't know when, but I don't want it to be from Covid19. We know that the virus is still about, is very catching, and there is much still to be learnt about it. So for this I use the precautionary principle - even if a risk isn't proven yet, choose safety. But its hard! we love our grandchildren and our children and we long to see them. I wish the OP well whatver you decide.

Clevedon Thu 09-Jul-20 10:08:39

Personally I am seeing my 3 yr old grandson as normal. He also saw his great grandparents and the joy on their faces after 3 month lockdown. He does not mingle with others

gillyknits Thu 09-Jul-20 10:16:38

I have the same dilemma but I am also in the vulnerable group. We don’t really come out of full lock down until August 1st and must still be cautious after that. We usually have both grandchildren for a week in the summer. Also, like o.p. we don’t know what activities will be open in our area by then.

Craftycat Thu 09-Jul-20 10:30:31

I would carry on as normal. I think there has been a lot of scaremongering all the way though this situation.
Children are far less likely to catch it & pass it on . It would be a great pity to miss having your DGD if you enjoy having her.
There will come a time very soon when she may not want to come to you as her reliance on 'mates' sets in. Make the most of it while you can & enjoy it.

granbabies123 Thu 09-Jul-20 11:14:55

I'm on my way to see mine as I write this. 4 hour journey and haven't seen them since February. We have been very good spending most of our time in allotment , garden and walks. Husband just returned to work but self employed on his own in empty rooms. I've been in a shop maybe 6 times no major supermarkets.since lock down and had coffee and fish and chips in close friends garden (shielding) twice. Family work from home and none of children at school. They go out but walking or cycling . We just have to hope and pray that none of us were in the wrong place at the right time. Life has to go on. I'm happy to be guided by DIL's rule. She's always been sensible and caring. So Yippee!

Sadgrandma Thu 09-Jul-20 11:16:08

Juniper1
If you were a single grandparent there would be no problem as children can stay and hug you! The rules on married grandparents are nonsense surely the risk is no greater.
If I were you I'd have her stay like a shot.

luluaugust Thu 09-Jul-20 11:36:10

I would have thought if the parents keep your GD at home for a week or so after finishing school, before coming straight to you that should be alright. I suppose the problem is children do seem to be asymptomatic, each of us has to make our own risk assessments now the guidelines aren't rational, stay at home was easy.