Gransnet forums


Still not met granddaughter

(82 Posts)
Newatthis Tue 22-Sep-20 13:44:18

I wrote during the lockdown when my daughter, who lives overseas, had a little girl in lockdown. The baby is now almost 5 months. I see my daughter 2 or 3 times a year and my other little grandchild but they live in a country that has banned UK nationals in (and vice versa - she and her family can't come here) because of COVID. It is now 9 months since I've seen my GC and daughter and I still haven't met our new GC. They are our only grandchildren. It's breaking my heart. I know we have SKYPE/ FACETIME and my daughter is very good keeping us updated with photos and videos but I'm longing for the cuddles. I know there are many of you out there like me. Please be kind in response.

B9exchange Tue 22-Sep-20 14:07:45

It is truly a dreadful situation for you and for so many. All I could suggest is that you actually book a flight for a year's time, with the ability to move it if necessary, so that you have something to work towards? I really feel for you.

welbeck Tue 22-Sep-20 14:14:02

i wouldn't be booking anything at the moment.
you might lose your money.
although it is hard, i think you have to make a decision to alter your expectations.
otherwise you will be living in misery, and wasting your life.

Hithere Tue 22-Sep-20 14:20:29

I am sorry, this is what it is.

Welbeck is on point, it sounds like you have a close relationship. I would count my blessings

Callistemon Tue 22-Sep-20 14:22:55

I don't know where they are, Newatthis but, if Australia, I know they have shut the borders for at least a year sad.
I do feel for you.
Goodness knows when we'll be allowed there again - and we may be too old!

Callistemon Tue 22-Sep-20 14:24:06

When I saw 6we^ I mean DH and me - you are probably a lot younger!

Dinahmo Tue 22-Sep-20 14:30:41

You need to look after yourself, try to stay cheerful because one day you will see your grand daughter. Think about it the other way round - if she never got to meet you.

I'm very lucky, my paternal grandparents were around until I was in my twenties. I probably only saw them once or twice a year but occasionally I stayed with them and my GM took me to the South Ken museums, the ballet and Hampton Court etc etc. Those visits started an interest in subjects that I have had ever since.

Summerlove Tue 22-Sep-20 14:32:50

I’m sorry. I can imagine this is very hard.

Try to take solace in that she would see you if she could, and this separation is in everyone’s best health interest.

Lucca Tue 22-Sep-20 14:36:08

I feel welbeck and hithere gave less than sympathetic /empathetic responses.
I haven’t seen my son and GC in Australia for nearly two years and I know how you feel. My only advice is allow yourself to weep when you want to but never let your daughter know how sad you are.

Callistemon Tue 22-Sep-20 14:43:33

Just keep saying "as long as they all stay safe".
And I agree with Lucca, don't let them know how sad you are.

Summerlove Tue 22-Sep-20 14:51:50

lucca! They both gave realistic advice. Neither were unkind.

Summerlove Tue 22-Sep-20 14:52:07

Shoot. Did not mean to add an !

Lucca Tue 22-Sep-20 14:53:49

I didn’t say unkind, I said less than sympathetic

Parsley3 Tue 22-Sep-20 14:55:23

I understand how upset you feel Newatthis. Your arms will be aching to hold your grandchild. My grandchild gave me a cuddly toy when she realised that she could no longer visit and I do find that giving it a cuddle helps. Take care.

Septimia Tue 22-Sep-20 15:15:00

It's a horrible situation, but people are right - the most important thing is to stay well so that you can meet when things are safer.

I've read about other people whose families are far away and they've had to stay in touch through Skype etc. If your daughter talks about you to the children, they see you on Skype and in photos, then when you eventually meet they will know who you are - one of the family, not a stranger. In the meantime, keep yourself in their thoughts by writing to them and sending little gifts.

Summerlove Tue 22-Sep-20 15:21:16

OP asked for kindness. Not sympathy. I didn’t see the need to call those two posters out.

Hithere Tue 22-Sep-20 15:30:24

This is my strategy: acknowledge what you cannot change and control, have a sef pity party, see the positive side of the situation and move on.

I guess I am a practical person.

Lucca Tue 22-Sep-20 16:06:20

Dear oh dear if that’s what you call “calling out”......
Sorry Newatthis, I tried to say something helpful but I’m out now.

Lucca Tue 22-Sep-20 16:07:24


This is my strategy: acknowledge what you cannot change and control, have a sef pity party, see the positive side of the situation and move on.

I guess I am a practical person.

Good for you. Well done. Bravo. You obviously know what it feels like.

Megs36 Tue 22-Sep-20 17:15:10

Sympathies from me, know how you must feel, my family spread out all over the UK except eldest grandson, in OZ, worried we may never see him again. Hope you get to see yours in the not too distant. Newatthis.

quizqueen Tue 22-Sep-20 17:31:40

I am sympathetic that families have been kept apart but, if all countries had been as sensible and closed their borders for a few months, we may not be in the prolonged situation we still find ourselves in.

Houndi Wed 23-Sep-20 09:48:16

My sister in law who is a Australian citizen is still waiting to get home she been waiting since beginning of September

Sarahmob Wed 23-Sep-20 09:50:45

This is a dreadful time and to not have the opportunity to meet your new grandchild and spend time with family must be really painful and frustrating. I think Lucca gave good advice, don’t suppress your emotions and cry when you need to, but try to remain cheerful and upbeat when FaceTiming the family. Hopefully one day this will end and life will be able to return to normal again. 💐

CassieJ Wed 23-Sep-20 09:53:24

My son and his family are in Canada and they have a 9 month old that I have yet to meet in person. I was meant to go in the summer, but obviously this was cancelled. No idea when we shall next be able to see each other in person.
I make the most of Skype and whatapp.

NickyNoo Wed 23-Sep-20 09:54:16

Mine are in Canada and our grandson is 8 months now. It is hard, but hang on to the hope of vaccine advances and an effective global testing system. They will come. Scientists are learning new things about it everyday and we will master this in time.