Gransnet forums

Chat

How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

(206 Posts)
Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 11:31:27

Would you take it on the chin and try to change? I’m not thinking about the shy person who doesn’t have much to say but the “broken record scenario’.
No matter how the conversation starts.

My MIL just couldn’t stop talking about her big operation. Even thirty years after it happened it would come into every conversation.

A teacher friend will always end up reminiscing about her time in the classroom.

And I posted a little while ago about the friend who can’t talk about anything except her grandchild. It doesn’t matter what the starting sentence is, it seems to connect back to GC.

You notice it on Gransnet posts too.

Do people know they’re doing it!
Would you say anything or just grit your teeth?
And what would you do if you found out that was you😱

keepingquiet Sun 09-May-21 11:34:25

No one's ever said it to me but I know a few like the ones you describe. I usually just listen or try to change the subject. Everyone is boring sometimes, to someone, aren't they?

nanna8 Sun 09-May-21 11:36:05

More likely I would be described as weird than boring! Which might be offensive in its own way...
I have a very boring friend who goes on and on and on but because I have known her forever and she has a lot of health problems, I just put up with it. She doesn’t get out much so it is understandable but when I get home I pour myself a stiff drink !

Vickysponge Sun 09-May-21 11:38:04

Oh gosh yes, a fair few on the political threads here on GN!

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 11:38:05

Oh yes,I was at a party once talking to someone and thought, “I’m even boring myself”,🙄

Would you say, “Yes, you’ve told me that before.’ Or even ‘yes you’ve told me that lots of times before”.

tiredoldwoman Sun 09-May-21 11:38:40

I think we can all be like that ! Either the bore or the bored .It's maybe lonliness , or being obsessed with something or maybe trying to outdo another bore ? People are fascinating !

Blossoming Sun 09-May-21 11:40:03

Not upset, but I’d think them very rude and avoid them in future.

FannyCornforth Sun 09-May-21 11:50:43

I'd be utterly horrified!
I can't think of anything worse than being boring, other than nasty.

Doodledog Sun 09-May-21 11:58:57

Vickysponge

Oh gosh yes, a fair few on the political threads here on GN!

I wonder if that is because there are so many people who claim to be 'scared' of joining in political threads, so a few voices dominate. Politics isn't something that people change their opinion about very often, so it is inevitable that viewpoints are going to be recycled. If more people joined in then there would be more variety.

As for the 'one subject' talkers, I think some of it is insecurity or a need to stay in a comfort zone.

I have a friend who manages to get into Every Single Conversation that she and her ex travelled the world back in the 1980s. It was 40 years ago, and life has gone on since then, but she never fails to bring it up, in the manner of a comedy ex-army chap who shoehorns his war exploits into every discussion. Some of it is insecurity, I think. She wants to establish herself as 'worldly' or intrepid in some way, as her life since has been very much the same as everyone else's.

It also diverts the conversation to an area where she is very comfortable holding forth, so she doesn't risk being asked about something she might feel less able to discuss.

Parsley3 Sun 09-May-21 11:58:57

I would be upset if I knew it was me but I don’t think that repeat offenders are aware so I do hope it isn’t me. I will take it badly if I am a culprit.
I no longer mention my grandchild’s dancing progress to one friend as she always replies by reminiscing about her own dancing lessons as a child, regardless of what I am telling her. I have tutted once or twice but it doesn’t register. It is impossible to have any conversation with someone who takes every subject so personally that they can only relate it to themselves. I have noticed it in some GN posts but then some people are quite isolated and I don’t have to read their posts or engage with them. In real life it does annoy me and I tend to let them ramble on before making my excuses and leaving.

Oldwoman70 Sun 09-May-21 12:01:25

I think we can all be boring and bored at some point - not many of us are able to be scintillating conversationalists all the time. I am sure people have found me boring at times but have been polite enough not to mention it.

I recall going to a social event and sitting next to a man I didn't know. He spent the entire evening talking about his hobby, bowls, which I knew nothing about and which I had zero interest in. He was obviously passionate about it and I was able to feign interest to such an extent that he insisted on giving me the address and telephone number of his club so I could give it a try "because you are obviously interested in it!"

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 12:03:57

You don’t think they might actually be doing you a favour blossoming rather than being rude?

Stop you in your tracks and make you think a bit. About why peopl are avoiding you or cutting conversations short😬

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 12:07:02

I’m impressed oldwoman. You’re the perfect dinner guest. But suppose you had to sit next to him at every dinner event😬 Or have weekly conversations.

M0nica Sun 09-May-21 12:31:41

I am sure I bre people frequently. I talk too much and too fast.

Daisend1 Sun 09-May-21 12:35:50

I quickly learned, in the early years of our marriage never to be first in bringing up a subject when in conversation with my mil. She would always know someone who had been there, done it. bought it
Her favourite subject was holidays and if we had believed her although never having been there herself. what she had heard'? we never would have travelled further than out own front door.

merlotgran Sun 09-May-21 12:41:37

I find it difficult to think of interesting things to talk about thanks to lockdown preventing so many activities.

We’re probably all a bit boring at the moment.

suziewoozie Sun 09-May-21 12:47:17

There are far worse things than being boring.

FindingNemo15 Sun 09-May-21 12:50:50

It is the medical condition conversations that are constantly repeated. It is almost as though it is a competition, who has the most or biggest, etc. etc.

Puzzler61 Sun 09-May-21 12:52:28

If someone is boring i.e. sitting next to me talking excessively about something I knew nothing about like their job or hobby, I’d try and swap subjects or find a reason to move away when I’d had enough. (I can usually think of a few questions to ask about said subject).
I wouldn’t tell someone they were boring as I think that would be extremely hurtful. I heard someone tell a friend’s husband he was boring in front of several people and he was clearly upset by it.

Blossoming Sun 09-May-21 12:53:11

No I don’t Peasblossom. As you obviously find me boring I shall avoid you in future.

Shinamae Sun 09-May-21 12:53:36

I have been called a lot of things over the years but never boring!!!! 😁😝

Puzzler61 Sun 09-May-21 12:53:44

BTW I can bore people talking about cats .... 🐈 🐈‍⬛

grandMattie Sun 09-May-21 12:54:39

Yep, the “organ recitals” as my friend calls it... that and the equivalent of holiday photos!
I hope I’m not boring but then I tend to ask people questions and let the rabbit on!

Jaxjacky Sun 09-May-21 12:55:47

I have a friend, he’s been a friend for forty odd years, every conversation harks back to some event we shared years ago. Since his retirement he’s settled into, what for me, is quite a boring, unadventurous daily routine, so he has little that’s new to talk about. Mr J and I, when this friend yet again repeats a memory, call it ‘during the war’. And yes I have jokingly mentioned it to him, no difference, he just prefaces with ‘I’ve probably mentioned this before’ I find it a bit sad.

EllanVannin Sun 09-May-21 12:59:51

Conversation is never boring regardless of what it's about.