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Calls from your adult children

(135 Posts)
overthehill Thu 22-Jul-21 19:30:00

Had some friends round today. While here one of their daughters rang although she'd been told they would be out for the afternoon. Their two daughters ring them at least twice a day and one daughter it's usually three times a day.
Now maybe I'm jealous here, my daughter rings roughly once a week although get WhatsApp messages between. Son probably less again WhatsApp contact.
Just wondered what others get in the way of phone calls. I could understand if one was alone, but there's both mum and dad.

GrannySomerset Thu 22-Jul-21 19:33:06

If my daughter rang me every day I would know that something was very wrong. We have a chat at least once a week with emails where useful. This feels about right for us.

tanith Thu 22-Jul-21 19:36:36

One daughter rings me most days just to check in as I’m on my own she’s a worrywort lol. The other daughter maybe once in 10 days and my son errrrrr!! Once in a blue moon 😂. We do exchange messages etc often.

BlueBelle Thu 22-Jul-21 19:49:08

Tanith I m like you one daughter rings or texts every day to make sure I haven’t fallen down and broke my neck🙃 as I live alone and no one would know for days, my son rings once a week on a Sunday morning for about half an hour and my other daughter much less frequently a brief message here and there or a brief call
None of them would call if they knew I was out or with friends ( bit rude I think)

GrannyGravy13 Thu 22-Jul-21 19:49:28

Our daughter rings/FaceTimes multiple times a day, sons probably twice, three times a week

Grandmabatty Thu 22-Jul-21 19:57:02

My daughter messages me most days and sometimes many times in a day. My son is intermittent; sometimes he'll message a few times a week, sometimes I won't hear from him for over a week.

MissAdventure Thu 22-Jul-21 20:12:26

I think its rude to phone when you know someone is out for a visit.

kittylester Thu 22-Jul-21 20:14:30

We have a family WhatsApp group which has post from someone most days. Our 3 daughter's WhatsApp, individually, whenever and the boys sometimes. I really don't keep a check but would notice if one was missing for a few days. I also WhatsApp one son in law at least weekly (I'm his favourite mil apparently!) I talk to both my brotherson WhatsApp at least a couple of times a week. DH's brothers are stuck in the 20th century but I chat to one of his sil at least once a week too.

LullyDully Thu 22-Jul-21 20:15:17

We usually hear from both sons once a week, unless, something is going on. We often have calls while they are driving, washing up or cooking. Killing two birds with one stone. Three times a day and I would be very worried.

Ethelwashere1 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:15:35

M dd rings most days and txts other days. Dgd also txts she just got her 1st mobile and very keen

Soroptimum Thu 22-Jul-21 20:20:42

I started ringing my mum every day when Covid started. It’s now every other day. My Sydney son rings her and me once a week, Southampton son the same. Eldest son who lives 2 miles away texts her about once a fortnight.
What on earth do you talk about if your child rings you 3 times in a day?!!!

Kate1949 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:23:48

We rarely get a phone call. I would be thrilled with once a week.

Elegran Thu 22-Jul-21 20:25:20

Mine used to be very random in their phone calls. Sometimes I heard from all three of them on the same day, sometimes no-one for a fortnight. I decided to rationalise this, and asked them if they could try to each phone me once a week, each on a different day. This worked very well with two of them, not so well for the third, who isn't so good at remembering, so I started ringing her one a week instead. By the time Covid struck the world and we were into lockdown, we had a good system in place - contact at least three times a week, nicely spaced, and info about each of them passed on to the others via Mum's news agency.

emmasnan Thu 22-Jul-21 20:26:43

Youngest son call most days and will WhatsApp several times a week.
Elder son Will call once a week and WhatsApp once or twice.

ayse Thu 22-Jul-21 20:32:40

One daughter calls to have a chat now and again from NZ. Timing it can be difficult. I see one DD at least twice a week and she calls intermittently if she wants help or just to check on me. DD2 has been/is going through some difficult times and some weeks calls everyday to tell me how awful things are but some weeks I don’t hear much so know life is ok just then.

As they are all different I just accept what comes and help, listen or chat accordingly. It’s interesting how families are so different but it’s good to know they are there if I need them.

Spare a thought from older people who never hear from their children.

sodapop Thu 22-Jul-21 20:42:15

I only get multiple calls like that if there is a serious problem. We have a family WhatsApp group and message most days but not everyone every day.

Sara1954 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:42:59

We work with all our children, and one of them lives with us, so it’s not really an issue.
But if we didn’t, I’m pretty sure we would never hear from our son, we’d have to do all the keeping in touch.
My daughters and grandchildren through the family WhatsApp page.

Grammaretto Thu 22-Jul-21 20:44:28

Mine often phone at exactly the same time as eachother which is a bit spooky and they wouldn't know where I am but if I said I was out they would end the call or ask me why I answered!

We have a family WhatsApp group and someone writes on that every day with photos, jokes, news.
I love it.

FindingNemo15 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:52:06

Kate 1949. Same here, before estrangement lucky if we got any calls and only if DD wanted something.

Grannybags Thu 22-Jul-21 20:58:12

Eldest son, with two children, WhatsApps quite a lot.

Youngest son, no children rarely phones. When he does he always starts with "It's ok nothing to worry about!"

geekesse Thu 22-Jul-21 20:59:24

Crikey! I love my kids, their partners and children, but calls daily or more often??? I speak to most of them between once a fortnight and once a month, and that suits us all well. We have a family Whatsapp group that splutters into life around once or twice a week, usually when someone is sharing a joke or something funny their kids did, and we also use that to organise family meet-ups.

Of course, if there’s a crisis or a major problem, we’re in touch a lot more often, but otherwise, they have full, busy happy lives and so do I, and we don’t need or want this constant staying-in-touch thing that so many here seem to have.

A lot of people complain about children spending way too much time on their technology, but I consider that instant access at all times by mobile phone is a blight on family relationships between adults. It breeds and nurtures co-dependency.

Grandma70s Thu 22-Jul-21 20:59:59

Elder son rings every day, younger one much less often but he is improving! Quite a lot of texting. We are never really out of touch. Phone calls usually last about half an hour.

I used to ring my parents - well, my mother mainly - every day, and then after my mother died I rang my father every day.

Kate1949 Thu 22-Jul-21 21:01:13

Nemo Sorry you are estranged. We do get WhatsApps and meet ups so I should consider myself lucky.

TillyTrotter Thu 22-Jul-21 21:03:55

Messages on WhatsApp most days, both are busy in full time jobs.
I wouldn’t worry if I didn’t make contact/receive messages for 3 days but I would if one of the AC went quiet for a whole week.
Rarely would I get a phone call if out with friends. It would be something fairly urgent if I did.

kittylester Thu 22-Jul-21 21:07:33

I think that it is wrong to assume that our children don't have full and busy lives if they call us often. We also have full and busy lives - we just happen to like each other.