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(102 Posts)
Newatthis Tue 27-Jul-21 12:20:49

Do you know anyone or are there members of your family who will never take responsibility for their actions but blame everyone else? I have a sister who has blamed everyone for her actions, it's always their fault, never hers.

JaneJudge Tue 27-Jul-21 12:23:56

The whole of my Dad's family. I can't stand it

Welshwife Tue 27-Jul-21 12:37:07

Yes - my sister the same

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 27-Jul-21 12:38:48

Oh yes, it’s amazing the convoluted ways in which something can be my fault!

Grandmabatty Tue 27-Jul-21 12:47:16

My mother and brother

b1zzle Tue 27-Jul-21 12:50:12

I divorced him!

mokryna Tue 27-Jul-21 13:01:05

Oh yes. One of my daughters, even when she has been found in the wrong, the apology she gives is turned so you feel that it was your own fault.

3nanny6 Tue 27-Jul-21 13:06:46

Most certainly YES a family member and they will never change------sad the relationship is damaged because of it.

Newatthis Tue 27-Jul-21 13:48:33

I got the detention at school because my sister blamed me for something I didn't do (she did it!) and then reported me to the headmistress!

cookiemonster66 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:36:20

when you point the finger of blame, there are always 3 pointing back at you! - so true!

bytheway Wed 28-Jul-21 10:36:44

Yep, a step-son, very sad.

User7777 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:37:11

Yes my sister and her family. She hated both DIL. And now prefers the first one. I have been blamed for everything for many years. Have dumped the lot of them. Dont need their sick family dysfunction in my life anymore. Walking away was the best thing I ever did.

Moggycuddler Wed 28-Jul-21 10:41:23

Known several in my lifetime.

grannybuy Wed 28-Jul-21 10:43:11

My brother. He was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago, so I have to accept that this might be a reason, but that doesn’t make it easier to handle. He is single, so I feel I need to support him, but he drives me mad at times.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:44:54

Grief yes! Doesn’t everyone?

Dee1012 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:45:35

Sadly yes, quite a number of people over the years. I currently work with someone who is alienating a lot of colleagues because of this.
When I tried to discuss it with her, listening to her, it appears that for her, there's was always something wrong with the people or the conditions that made it impossible for her to do 'a good job' in every previous role and currently!
Likewise in the area's of her personal life disclosed - problems are all because of somebody else's actions/view.
When I pointed out recent situations that could have been easily resolved if she'd considered an action (very minor in some instances), every single one was firmly planted on someone else.
Utterly infuriating.

grannygranby Wed 28-Jul-21 10:47:51

Yes it took me years to realise that this was the essential characteristic of my first husband. You fall for their stories of why they are like they are, you can change all that, bad people and then when you become history you are blamed for everything. This means of course that his family who were blamed for everything can now blame me. Massive rewrites that come down to him never ever owning anything, ever being responsible. He was attractive and charismatic which aids them in their delusions. He’s dead now rest his soul leaving a tangle of confusion. Whether he really blamed others or manipulated others to think that and therefore not expect him to step up to the plate is a moot point.

Coco51 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:48:27

Remined me of the tale about my ex BiL when he was a child denied that he hadn’t broken the neighbours window - with a ball that had his name on it!

My situation - I always seem to get blame and censure when I have done my utmost to help family

bear1 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:50:12

yes my mother she would deliberately do something even damage things then blame me, even blamed me for my father having a heart attack then when he died it was my fault as well which she said to me in front of my then young children

Natasha76 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:51:45

I despair that we now live in a blame culture where everything has to be someone’s fault. We can no longer have an accident or just one of those things.

red1 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:52:39

a sign of immaturity, often cited in psychiatry as a personality disorder. my exes favourite remark, 'you made me do it! '

Maria59 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:53:18

Absolutely my sister she also rewrites history and is adamant her version is the true one.

Chris0 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:53:39

My daughter from first marriage and my now second husband. Both destructive drinkers. Always someone else's fault never them.

Mincub Wed 28-Jul-21 10:56:07

‘’ 'you made me do it! '’’. Or rather ‘’it’s because of you I’m like this’’
Yes I know a few but not for much longer, fed up with wearing that badge. sad

Happygirl79 Wed 28-Jul-21 10:56:54

Yes lots of people blame others and do not accept responsibility for their actions
It's very sad
I have full respect for someone who will own up and say they are sorry
and face up to the consequences of their actions.
Everyone can make mistakes