Embarrassing things children say

36Sadgrandma

A friend and I were discussing embarrassing things that our daughters said when they were children and I wondered what stories other gransnetters have.
When my daughter was about 3 or 4 we were invited to my husband's brother and sister-in-law's for Sunday lunch. My sister-in-law was the most houseproud person I'd ever met so it was doubly embarrassing when my daughter looked up at the candelabra over the table and asked if it was an antique. My sister-in-law laughed and said no, so my daughter said, 'it certainly looks like one, it's even got spider's webs on it!

My friend was collecting charity envelopes door to door, accompanied by her three year old daughter. At one house a very large lady opened the door. The little girl looked her in awe and said, 'oh look mummy, it's Little Miss Greedy'!

My father used to enjoy playing with his grandchildren and would hide and surprise them. I was fairly horrified to read in an essay at Parent Evening 'I came in from the garden and my Granddad was under the table'! At that time this was a euphemism for being completely drunk!

My 3 year old grandson is in the middle of understanding seeds / eggs / sex / reproduction.

Walking down the road, seeing a rotund bloke with his very large, round stomach on display, grandson said in piercing tones, 'Why has that man got a baby in his tummy?' (NOT that we're fattist in my family. I'm a fat bird myself.)

Cringe.

Sorry I appear to have posted twice

When my eldest GS was very small my DD bought him round for lunch, I had made a cottage pie which he announced was disgusting! A friend of mine was in a PO queue a Sikh gentleman was ahead of her my small goddaughter was fascinated my his headwear and kept asking about it loudly. Eventually the elderly gentleman turned round and bent down so she could see it clearly.

Hahaha Lulu. Very similar with my GS. He told his mum last year his dinner was disgusting, on the same day he tried to lick the toilet. Not sure his judgement is to be trusted!

I was in a very lovely and expensive boutique searching for a wedding outfit, it was a large shop and my 6 year old son had wandered towards the back of the store.

I was looking for him and heard a big fart…. I immediately said “Tom come here now” his response was, “ It wasn’t me mummy it was that lady there” as he pointed at an elderly lady?????

It wasn't something my three year old daughter said, but something she did that was embarrassing. Fifty years ago, in the small local branch of Barclays Bank, I was standing with my back to the counter, as I filled out a form. My little girl lifted my full skirt, revealing all to the two male cashiers.

I taught my three-year old son the proper names for things
(he was, I realise now, rather precocious but as this was my first
I had nothing to compare him with.) Imagine my embarrassment when, in his piping voice, while we were on a crowded bus, he said: " that's a woman, so she's got a vagina, not a penis, and that's a man, so he has a penis not a vagina."

When I was about 4 my mother and I were staying with my godmother. One of my godmother's friends came for tea. I stared at her in amazement and said "You've got BLUE hair!!!" My mother nearly died but the friend thought it was hysterically funny.

Our neighbours (who had children of similar ages to us, at the same small school) were both ex-RAF, so interested in planes. One day they called excitedly to us: Concorde is flying overhead (it was a change of route)
The next day, the drawing at school showed " C & D shouting at Mummy & Daddy"

My daughter was staying with my Mum and Dad when she was about 3. In the morning my Mum was getting dressed and the next thing was her panty girdle. Lizzie loudly announced” that won’t all go in there”. Mum finally got the girdle on when she stopped laughing!

My son aged 3 sitting on Grandma’s knee. “We’ve both got curly hair, but mine is fresher than yours”.

Oh dear my son approximately 3 did a similarly embarrassing one sadgran!
I took him took a cafe and we were minding our own business I thought when he rather rudely and loudly pointed to a rather large lady and said she’s had all the cakes hasn’t she mummy!

When we were trying to sell our aged Morris Minor traveller, our 3 year old younger daughter said 'Daddy, don't forget to show the people that there is a hole in the floor.' Needless to say they didn't buy the car!

I remember being told off by my mother when, aged about 5, on returning home from having lunch at my aunty’s, I declared loudly in her presence “What’s to eat? I’m starving!”

My eldest had to write what grandparents did in WW2, they ignored that my dad had been in the Navy at D Day and instead chose to ask MIL who always embellished. On the open night there was the essay on the wall. My grandma entertained the troops on the tables. She liked the Italians they made her laugh. What she should have said was gran was in the ATS and waited on tables in the officer's mess and Italian prisoners of war cut the grass along the paths and shouted comments.
The other one once nearly got me banned from a very upmarket Butchers by declaring she did not like the Horses head. It was a Bull's head and the chap assured her in a very loud house.

When me and my two children were shopping in C&A’s many years ago I passed a jewellery holder and I was turning it round an admiring the necklaces so I took one, and continued over to find the baskets which weren’t at the entrance to come in as per usual,we got level with a sales assistant who was filling up the underwear aisle, and my daughter said in a very loud voice, Mum are you going to pay for that necklace, ??

On a train journey and already conversing amicably with a black lady opposite when my son (4ish?) decided to ask her why she was that 'funny' colour. Her response was kind and gentle to which he responded with total matter of fact acceptance and, happily, no supplementaries followed. He and she were much calmer than me which suggests I had much to learn.

I was showing prospective purchasers round our first house when it was up for sale.
"Don't forget to show them the crack in the wall mummy," said my five year old daughter helpfully ?

They laughed, and left ?

My mum was very chic, took a great pride in her appearance and always looked lovely. She had very healthy, long, glossy, silvery hair when in her sixties, which she wore in a French pleat. We very rarely saw her hair all loose, but one day one of my DDs, aged about 4 at the time, saw her brushing it out and said 'Grandma, when you do that you look a teeny, weeny bit like a witch'. Fortunately Mum had a great sense of humour and we laughed about this till she died in her nineties.

DH and I took our 3 year old DGS to London on a crowded train. I sat next to an elderly Indian gentleman complete with a long white beard and bright blue tunic. DH & DGS opposite
As the train stood in the station there was a complete lull in all converstation. In a clear piercing voice DGS asked 'What's Father Christmas doing on the train?

My daughter when she was 2 was very boisterous, most people accepted this but I was worried about the elderly. I tried explaining to her that she should be quiet with older people around. All was quiet. Later that day we went into a shop where there was one customer, my DD went u to her, help her arm, turned to me - "Is this an old lady, mum"
Ever wished the ground would swallow you?

It was a warm day, so I suggested to my 2 year old daughter we lie in the garden and get nice and brown, (actually I was pregnant and wanted a rest). Later that day she and I got on a bus. At one bus stop a large number of black people got on, they sat in front of u, besides us and behind us. This all got too much for my little daughter who stood up and with a loud voice "Mum, how did they get brown before us?"