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Emphasising children are adopted

(34 Posts)
Beswitched Thu 05-Aug-21 20:59:22

Just read another article about a famous person which says that she lives in SE England with her husband X and their adopted children Y and Z.

Surely , once you adopt a child, they are simply your children. Why do journalists constantly emphasise that a celeb's children are adopted. I find it so annoying.

maddyone Thu 05-Aug-21 22:31:44

When a child is adopted, that child very much joins your family and becomes a much loved member of your family. Unfortunately social workers try to push the original family agenda. We have an adopted grandchild and he is very loved, and belongs in our family just as much as the ‘birth’ grandchildren.

Esspee Thu 05-Aug-21 22:36:00

I agree Beswitched it is irrelevant. They are the children of whoever.

mokryna Fri 06-Aug-21 01:54:51

I think I would have felt put out if I had heard my adopted parents introduce me as their adoptive child but maybe they did out of my hearing.
Funnily enough I felt hurt when I heard my eldest daughter talking on the phone to her friend underlining the fact that her sister was a half-sister.

sodapop Fri 06-Aug-21 07:24:41

I have never understood that either Beswitched . I have also noticed that if a child/adult does something wrong it is noted they are adopted.
I have seen posts on here where a poster has felt it necessary to mention adoption even though it's not relevant to the situation. I am not defined by the fact that I am adopted.

On a lighter note I have also never understood why news items often mention the price of someone's house when this is totally irrelevant.

Jaxjacky Fri 06-Aug-21 07:32:55

Goes with the territory of being ‘a famous person’ I suppose, surely it depends how much information they, or their agent release to the press. Some famous people manage to keep their families out of the public eye.

Sago Fri 06-Aug-21 07:54:31

My mother ( narcissist) always used to refer to “ the adopted children of”.

My husband was adopted and she would always refer to my in laws as his adoptive parents.

It’s a strange and hurtful thing.

dogsmother Fri 06-Aug-21 08:00:41

Nobody’s business, however I really would want the child to be aware so as not to have a shock in later life. Never ever to be allowed to feel differently though.

BlueBelle Fri 06-Aug-21 08:13:44

I always admired Dawn French and Lenny Henry they never gave a thing away about their adopted daughter I don’t think I ever saw a picture

NotSpaghetti Fri 06-Aug-21 08:18:10

This is really about media reporting rather than terms the parents use day to day.

Beswitched Fri 06-Aug-21 09:09:13

Yes, that's what my gripe is. Why is it necessary for journalists to expressly state that a celeb's child is adopted? They are their son or daughter, and as integral to the family and loved in the exact same way as a biological child.
No need to make an unnecessary distinction when simply outlining the details of the celebrity's family life.

Lucca Fri 06-Aug-21 09:11:03

It is similar to the “pensioner Betty….” “Mother of two Sally…”

Rosie51 Fri 06-Aug-21 09:14:23

And their obsession with age when for most purposes it matters not a jot whether someone is 25 or 52.

felice Fri 06-Aug-21 09:45:56

My Mother always even as an adult introduced me as' this is xxxxxxx she is not actually ours, but someone had to look after her'. It was hurtful and confusing to people, who would then ask me why I had not told them.
When I asked them if it mattered they would say 'well not really but'.
Always wondered about the 'but', but if it mattered to them they did not matter to me.

Elusivebutterfly Fri 06-Aug-21 09:51:14

Equally, journalists usually put some kind of label on people who are in the news for any reason. They will say housewife, pensioner, mother or state their job etc.

Luckygirl Fri 06-Aug-21 09:55:03

Blimey felice that is a bit much - I think that would have made me very fed up. What a strange thing to say.

I have adopted relatives - I simply refer to them as my nephews

henetha Fri 06-Aug-21 10:06:47

That was a bit harsh, felice, wasn't it. I hope your life has been ok in spite of it. smile.
I myself was adopted and I have two adopted grandchildren.
I agree that it's a pity it has to be emphasised by the press etc.

Newatthis Fri 06-Aug-21 10:15:00

Hope the children know!

henetha Fri 06-Aug-21 10:26:34

Yes, *Newatthis", they do. They have known from the start.

timetogo2016 Fri 06-Aug-21 11:12:51

Myself,my sister and brother were adopted by my dad,and never in the 52 years did he ever refer to us as anything but his children.
In fact somebody actually thought i looked like him,and i didn`t say anything but "that`s a first",and my dad beamed.

hazel93 Fri 06-Aug-21 11:23:10

I find it ridiculous that anyone would refer to any child with a prefix ! I do not introduce my son as "not adopted" !

felice Fri 06-Aug-21 12:18:09

It was done to hurt me, she never wanted a child but my Father threatened to leave her unless she agreed. Not very nice either.
I have not lived near her for 50 plus years and the lies she told about me were terrible, even telling people I was in prison.
My lawyer in the UK has sent out a few cease and desist notices over the years sadly, not to my Mother but to those passing on the lies.
Luckily my Fathers family have always accepted me and are wonderful.

GillT57 Fri 06-Aug-21 12:36:20

I dislike lazy and irrelevant reporting. Price of their house, status as in 'battling granny sees off handbag snatcher'. I always think of someone like Grandma out of The Broons, black coat, ill fitting dentures, hat firmly clamped on to permed hair. Nothing like anyone on here. Also stupid interviews when there has been a violent crime 'How do you feel?'.....'Nothing like this has ever happened around here'. They are always a 'close knit community'. Shudder

Georgesgran Fri 06-Aug-21 13:08:54

💐felice

My MIL wasn’t a nice person. One day at a coffee morning, she listened to a friend saying (not bragging) that her son had done well and was at Uni doing medicine. MIL waited for her to finish and then announced to everyone that he wasn’t her son - he was adopted. To the day she died, she couldn’t see what she’d said was wrong and so hurtful.

sodapop Fri 06-Aug-21 15:29:30

Horrible things to say Felice . Some people have no conscience. I'm glad others in your family treated you well.