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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.

(33 Posts)
Maywalk Sat 23-Oct-21 20:55:45

At my age of 91 a belly laugh each day helps the meds go down.

TRUTHS

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
................................................
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre not the toy.
.....................................................

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
.................................................
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
.............................................
SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
...............................................
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER
forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many smiles

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked ????? I've never tried that, I think if I tried it now all the dogs would bark in fright.

Bellanonna Sat 23-Oct-21 21:12:46

Thank you, Maywalk, I enjoyed that!

PollyTickle Sat 23-Oct-21 21:14:58

Thanks Maywalk that was a lot of fun. Lots off laugh out loud ones.

lemongrove Sat 23-Oct-21 21:36:21

Haha Maywalk that’s really good, I particularly liked the Santa Claus stages and the ‘Success* ones 😂

lemongrove Sat 23-Oct-21 21:39:54

I agree that laughter is the best medicine, and think the truism of weep and you weep alone isn’t the case anymore, as people seem to love misery now and wallow in it.
Misery loves company?
Anyhoo....have you got any more of the funny stuff tucked up your sleeve? Let’s have it please.😃

Baggs Sat 23-Oct-21 21:40:26

The broccoli in milk one is my favourite.

lemongrove Sat 23-Oct-21 21:43:17

That’s because it’s what you used to do Baggs 😁

PollyTickle Sat 23-Oct-21 21:48:41

I liked the ‘choosing cereal for the fibre instead of for the toy’ one.

Scones Sat 23-Oct-21 21:49:07

I have something funny to share. I saw this sign on a cottage this week.

Scones Sat 23-Oct-21 21:50:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Urmstongran Sat 23-Oct-21 21:54:45

Thanks for the chuckle Maywalk!

PollyTickle Sat 23-Oct-21 21:55:07

How about when you’re five you leave a tiny little tooth under the pillow and a fairy leaves you money for it.
When you’re 75 you can leave your whole set on the bedside cabinet all day long and there are no takers.

Urmstongran Sat 23-Oct-21 21:55:48

🤣🤣

PollyTickle Sat 23-Oct-21 21:56:05

That’s so good scones I read it twice

Scones Sat 23-Oct-21 21:57:55

PollyTickle HA! Operator error - twice!!

JaneJudge Sat 23-Oct-21 21:58:03

love it smile

muse Sat 23-Oct-21 21:59:34

🤣. Brilliant Scones.
A favourite is “ When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there”.

Lots of others though . 😊

Urmstongran Sat 23-Oct-21 22:01:42

I’m unsure about the ‘weep and you weep alone’.
I admit most people prefer to be in the company of jolly people. Maybe that’s why?
But real friends would always want to comfort an upset friend I think.

Grandmafrench Sat 23-Oct-21 22:04:44

Maywalk I've been crying here and rolling about to the extent that the dogs have come to see what the problem is! Thank you so much - I'm now going to send this on to unsuspecting friends - there is NOTHING like laughter!

MerylStreep Sat 23-Oct-21 22:19:22

Read the Court Recorder post by Maywalk. Beyond hilarious 😂

muse Sat 23-Oct-21 22:20:32

muse

🤣. Brilliant Scones.
A favourite is “ When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there”.

Lots of others though . 😊

Sorry- laughter has blurred my vision.
Meant to say Brilliant Maywalk
Thank you.

Luckygirl Sat 23-Oct-21 23:15:33

Thank you .... just what I needed tonight! smile

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Oct-21 23:54:09

*Maywalk *you've done it again. You've made me smile. Twice in the same day. You are extraordinary person.

Shelflife Sun 24-Oct-21 00:01:52

Thank you Maywalk. You have made me smile 😊

crazyH Sun 24-Oct-21 00:50:38

Thankyou Maywalk. Had a good giggle - will try to sleep now - nite, nite 😴 💤