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The Innocence of Children

(103 Posts)
Elless Sun 28-Nov-21 12:58:38

When my eldest two were very young they were sat crossed legged in front of the TV watching the film E.T., the younger one said 'What does ET stand for anyway?' to which his brother replied 'extra testicle of course' gringrin
Anyone else got any 'gems' that their children have come out with.

MissAdventure Sun 28-Nov-21 13:18:44

grin
My daughter was singing a Michael Jackson son.
Her version was "Hold me, like the river Jordan. I am a centipede, and you are my friend"

V3ra Sun 28-Nov-21 19:08:56

I refused to let my two sons watch a film that I considered inappropriate.
"Aww mum, there's no swearing in it, just a bit of sex and violence." 🤦

PamelaJ1 Sun 28-Nov-21 19:13:52

T-“When I’m older I won’t be able to play with you granny”.
Me- “oh why”?
“Because you’ll be dead”.

I have it on video and giggle every time I watch it.

grannyactivist Sun 28-Nov-21 19:14:25

My 8 year old grandson is singing a solo in the Christmas play, so was rehearsing with his mum. He sang:

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright,
Round conversion mother and child……..😆

Forsythia Sun 28-Nov-21 19:15:06

One of mine loved the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles….except she called them teenage mutant here eternals. We still chuckle about that now.

Maggiemaybe Sun 28-Nov-21 19:28:07

PamelaJ1

T-“When I’m older I won’t be able to play with you granny”.
Me- “oh why”?
“Because you’ll be dead”.

I have it on video and giggle every time I watch it.

So when you’re a famous footballer, will you buy Nanna a lovely new house?

I don’t want to upset you, Nanna, but I don’t think you’ll be around then.

He’s 8, and I’m only in my mid-60s. 😊

Sunlover Sun 28-Nov-21 19:35:14

When teaching a year 6 class we were discussing what they were looking forward to when they grew up. I got lots of ideas like driving, having a job, going on holiday with friends. A really lovely boy put up his hand and said he was looking forward to masturbation!! Ok I thought!! It transpired he meant emancipation. Bless him.

MerylStreep Sun 28-Nov-21 19:39:58

MissAdventure

grin
My daughter was singing a Michael Jackson son.
Her version was "Hold me, like the river Jordan. I am a centipede, and you are my friend"

One of my favourite songs, absolutely love it. 😍

GagaJo Sun 28-Nov-21 22:06:19

GS: Why do people die Gaga?
Me: They get old and sick.
GS: When will you die Gaga?
Me: Not yet I hope.
GS: Soon?
Me:...
GS: On Wednesday?

He's 3. I'm just glad I made it to Wednesday.

Deedaa Sun 28-Nov-21 22:06:26

My 8 year old grandson "I wish God could send Grandad back ---- but not as a zombie".

beautybumble Sun 28-Nov-21 23:40:47

When we all went to the pub whilst on holiday, my husband asked my little 2 year old daughter what she wanted. She answered " a bizzy wink and a packet of bibs". She's 40 now and I can still see her serious little face.

hollysteers Sun 28-Nov-21 23:50:37

My little son’s friend said a morbid discussion
“Well I’m not coming to your funeral”
“Why”
“Because you won’t be there”🧐

Ro60 Mon 29-Nov-21 00:41:22

I was pulling staples out of a parquet floor (another story)
DD2 says; "You've pulled lots of taxis Mummy!"
DD1; "Tbeyre not taxis they're stabilizers".

Farmor15 Mon 29-Nov-21 19:40:46

Yesterday my daughter was taking out a bottle of wine. Two and a half year old said “Is granny coming?” . Looks like I’ve got a reputation in that house🤪

Helen657 Mon 29-Nov-21 21:17:17

Farmor15

Yesterday my daughter was taking out a bottle of wine. Two and a half year old said “Is granny coming?” . Looks like I’ve got a reputation in that house🤪

🤣🤣🤣🤣😁
Love it

5 yr old DD at church with Nana (the day after a free bar Xmas party) was asked by her teacher where Mummy was
“She couldn’t come - she’s too drunk”

And I know she will have heard that phrase directly from my teetotal mum! 🤣

Ashcombe Mon 29-Nov-21 21:37:39

DD2: (discussing how her young daughter reacted to the saucier parts of a musical, seen in London)
It wasn't a problem as it went over her head.

DGD: No, it didn't - remember, I had a booster seat!

V3ra Mon 29-Nov-21 22:10:58

Farmor15

Yesterday my daughter was taking out a bottle of wine. Two and a half year old said “Is granny coming?” . Looks like I’ve got a reputation in that house🤪

You and a few more of us I imagine 🤣

Lucca Mon 29-Nov-21 22:43:22

My DS aged about 2.5. At a christening looking up at a wooden figure of Christ on the cross complete with draperies “look daddy man hang gliding”. (We lived near a famous taking off place for that activity)

MrsJeeves Mon 29-Nov-21 23:16:37

Small football-mad son was a keen supporter of Green Spark Rangers (Queens Park Rangers).

crazyH Mon 29-Nov-21 23:24:31

My little grandson, walking into the Loo while I was just finishing and pulling up my panties “oh Nan, you’ve got such big knickers; my mummy has teeny knickers” 😂

maddyone Mon 29-Nov-21 23:37:32

When my daughter was six years old she was watching a news item on television which featured a ship which the presenter called ‘she.’ My daughter turned to me and said ‘How do they know it’s a she, do they turn it upside down and have a look.’

Ro60 Tue 30-Nov-21 00:58:01

GrannyActivist You've just reminded me of my favourite 'bare with' - if I've mentioned it before;
DD singing her heart out in church:

"All things bright and beautiful all pizzas great and small .....
... The purple hairy mountains the river ... etc.

Kim19 Tue 30-Nov-21 05:20:27

Whilst dressing with my GDs after a swim - 'why are your boobs away down there?'. Another illusion shattered! She was 4.

GrannyLaine Tue 30-Nov-21 15:18:22

Only this morning my daughter went to get her three year old up wearing her dressing gown and wet hair wrapped in a towel. Annie solemnly looked her Mummy up and down

"Is it Halloween?"