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Just musing and wonderiing.....

(33 Posts)
Franbern Fri 03-Dec-21 09:30:50

On my local area FB page, someone has made a derogatary remark about 'do gooders'. Set me wondering what sort of society we have when wishing to do good is seen as some sort of insult.

I do know the ....road to hell, etc. However, I really would that we lived in a Society where people wished to DO GOOD than one where making fast buck is seen as priority.

Lucca Fri 03-Dec-21 09:35:21

‘‘Twas ever thus……

Baggs Fri 03-Dec-21 09:44:49

It's when so-called do-gooders are perceived to be interfering where they shouldn't or virtue signalling their goodness that people object.

In general actually doing good quietly and without boasting about it is as valued as anyone would want it to be.

Baggs Fri 03-Dec-21 09:46:32

Without knowing the context of that local FB page comment, one can't really judge in this instance, but what I said above holds everywhere.

Witzend Fri 03-Dec-21 09:49:14

AFAIK the term has always had connotations of bossiness. and/or interfering ‘for your own good’, though.

I don’t think it’s ever really meant the same thing as ‘people who do good’.

GagaJo Fri 03-Dec-21 09:50:34

That American phrase, 'Bleeding heart liberals' springs to mind. What is wrong with caring? We all should care.

Juliet27 Fri 03-Dec-21 09:51:55

Agreed Baggs

annodomini Fri 03-Dec-21 09:57:16

I was looking for the quote: "Do good by stealth", thinking it was biblical, but tracked it down (thank you, Internet) to Alexander Pope's Essay on Man and the full line is : “Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame.” In other words, be embarrassed if you get a reputation for 'doing good'. It's a good 60 years since I studied that poem, but the line - or half of it - had stayed with me.

Riverwalk Fri 03-Dec-21 10:00:37

GagaJo

That American phrase, 'Bleeding heart liberals' springs to mind. What is wrong with caring? We all should care.

Yes that American phrase, to me, is the equivalent of 'do-gooders'.

eazybee Fri 03-Dec-21 10:00:49

There is nothing wrong with caring, or doing good; most people do and do it discreetly. It is those who constantly advertise what they do and/or constantly advise others as to how they should feel and think who arouse ire.

Baggs Fri 03-Dec-21 11:26:54

annodomini

I was looking for the quote: "Do good by stealth", thinking it was biblical, but tracked it down (thank you, Internet) to Alexander Pope's Essay on Man and the full line is : “Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame.” In other words, be embarrassed if you get a reputation for 'doing good'. It's a good 60 years since I studied that poem, but the line - or half of it - had stayed with me.

I was trying to remember enough of that line to search for it, anno, so thank you. Off to read some Pope ?

Beswitched Fri 03-Dec-21 11:32:21

I think do goodets often applies to people who meddle in causes and situations that they don't really understand fully, and often end up doing more harm than good.
Oe people who advocate loudly for one set of rights regardless of how it tramples over other rights.

Often the two are connected.

sazz1 Sat 04-Dec-21 11:06:23

My late granny was a 'do gooder' and helped people anonymously.
She visited my mum one cold day and there was no fire or coal. Dad, her son, was a gambler so no money. The next day a coal lorry turned up with a ton of coal. Also a big box addressed to my mum with a beautiful red wool coat from a posh shop in town. Both anonymously. Also she regularly visited a young widow with 2 young children for a cup of tea and chat. When I went with her once she was washing up and I saw her put a handful of pound notes in between the tea towels in the drawer. I was told to say nothing. Everyone thought she was really poor but she was very wealthy.

coastalgran Sat 04-Dec-21 11:15:36

Doing good takes on many forms, most who do good things do them quietly without recognition. People get annoyed with the ones who need to be seen doing acts of goodness/kindness and need publicity.

GoldenAge Sat 04-Dec-21 11:51:07

Agree with Witzend - do-gooders and those who do good are not the same.

Nan0 Sat 04-Dec-21 11:58:04

There is a famous novel called Beware of Pity by Josef Roth who was a best selling novelist before the 2nd World War. He was Austro-Hungarian Hungarian Jewish and was no platform's by the Nazis ,his books were best sellers in translation around the world..its a brilliant novel on misplaced attempts at empathy and how it back fires..I like the post about doing good by stealth, practical stuff, the coal, the coat, etc

sandelf Sat 04-Dec-21 12:23:10

Doing good is fine. I guess the 'derogatory' meaning is because some who try to 'do good' are more interested in being seen as virtuous than actually helping. - Or they try to do good but don't understand what's needed etc. All we can do is our best.

GreenGran78 Sat 04-Dec-21 12:48:45

This brings to mind the Bible story of the widow's mite. Her tiny offering, was given with humility, great sacrifice, and possibly some embarrassment for the small amount. The rich man's large donation, given with much public display, was considered unimportant in comparison.
It's not what you do for charity, but how you do it, that could get you the do-gooder label.

annehinckley Sat 04-Dec-21 13:19:21

It annoys me when 'do-gooder' is used as a term of abuse. We should all be trying to do good. After all, what's the opposite, 'do-evil'?

Skydancer Sat 04-Dec-21 13:26:05

I am always put to shame when I read my local newspaper. So many people are doing wonderful things in our area - and of course it's the same everywhere. Most people don't shout about it. Only today I've felt I must do SOMETHING... there are so good causes out there.

Granniesunite Sat 04-Dec-21 14:04:58

My mum helped families in our village who had difficulties paying their rent.
She wasn't rich but had come into some money and she shared this with
families in trouble.
As children we knew nothing about this and only found out when my brother was told by an adult child of one of the families

Daffydilly Sat 04-Dec-21 14:32:30

I remember reading, after his death, that George Michael had done so much for charity. He'd done it quietly and it didn't become public knowledge until much later. He was a troubled soul, but had a good heart and was very talented.

polly123 Sat 04-Dec-21 14:48:33

Doing good quietly is a great thing. Virtue signalling is the opposite as well as interfering.

4allweknow Sat 04-Dec-21 15:05:47

I live within a small community with a lot of do gooders. They are young and behind most of the do good actions is a subtle way for them to get some business. Eg lst December a cul-de-sac organised a Christmas lights switch on (I know totally illegal with lights strung across from lamp posts and onto house roofs). The organiser supplied some Christmas fare treats £2 half of which was going to charity. Just happens he runs a bakery, catering business and had some of the goodies for sale or to order. This type of thing goes on all the time. Yes, a lit of people do genuinely do good but there are a lot who are just out for the praise and prestige.

Joesoap Sat 04-Dec-21 17:28:53

I think we should all do good in these difficult times.