Tell us about the hypocrite in your life

Oh I’ve a pearler.

Old friend of my in in-laws was widowed with no family, we helped her in many ways over the years, I even went and cleaned her filthy house with her cleaner and a friend, we had to wear masks!

She was so nasty about anyone that had a child before marriage (myself included) she once said she would never adopt because she would be bringing up somebodies bastard child.
She once referred to a single mum as the whore with the bastard child.

She was an outrageous snob and bigot as was her late husband.

When she died, her senile sister asked if we had contacted her daughter, my husband said no she didn’t have children but the sister insisted she did.

The sister was right, she had a daughter at age 18 in 1950 who was adopted.
We are in regular contact with her daughter who is lovely unlike her mother!

My Mum was being critical of a couple for having a baby and not being married.
I pointed out that my brother and his partner aren't married so my niece, her granddaughter, was in the same situation as the other child.
"Oh but that's different" was Mum's reply ?

Actually chocolatepudding (love the name!) I disagree to an extent. Yes, your mother in law was very judgmental and opinionated - but this was the mid-70’s and ‘we did things differently back then’. When you say ‘fast forward TWENTY YEARS’ that’s a heck of a lot of time difference! I could understand your rant if it were twenty MONTHS.
?
Don’t over-think it. Let it Go as the song says ? ? especially as those twins will now be adults themselves!

My MIL has at times been scathing about unmarried mothers. Never heard her views on unmarried fathers !
However I know that she got married just4 months before my husband was born.
I’ve never wanted to make a thing of it so have usually replied’ well there but for fortune go many others’.

Playing Devil’s Advocate here Sago ... sorry. But it strikes me that this vindictive and nasty woman might have turned bitter because she was heartbroken inside that her baby had had to be given up for adoption whilst years later (and less stigma) she might have kept her baby - as the other single mums she encountered as been able to - and was filled with longing and jealousy on some level.

Doesn’t make her remarks acceptable but maybe explains them?

Regards
St. Urmstongran

That's a good point Urmstongran.

Exactly what I thought Urmstongran

My Aunt by marriage was very religious and wanted to be a missionary. However she would have nothing to do with me as I was adopted and illegitimate. She would not allow her son, my cousin to have any contact with me either.

Indeed sodapop, I've found that those who are the most devout are frequently the most hypocritical.

They must be searching for something.
Humanity perhaps.

My husband and I have 5 children.

With my second my husband and I split up for a while and my mother told me at 5 months that I should have an abortion as I would now be a single mother. Our relationship survived and became stronger.

Each pregnancy announcement got sneers and declarations that I was an idiot and an embarrassment.

My mum has has 3 children by different fathers and was a single mother twice, she also has a stepchild.

I don't really care how families come to be as long as they are good and loving and for a long time I could not understand how my mother could be such a hypocrit.

I think the truth is that she was ashamed of her own life and took it out on me. Which is actually very sad

St Urmston I thought the same but sadly she was nasty through and through.
She made her neighbours lives hell.

Her daughter made contact and she treated her abominably, she also told very nasty lies about my MIL.
She told everyone including my mother that the reason my husbands parents adopted him and his sister was because my MIL was likely to have a “coloured child” and it would be too shameful.
The real reason was my FIL had had medical treatment that left him infertile.

Once about 30 ago she tried to tell me about my husbands birth parents, she claimed to have all the information,I asked her to stop as my husband didn’t want to know and I didn’t want to be in a position of knowing more than him.
She looked at me aghast and then just blurted it all out.

Oh dear- I am sure we all have a story to tell and there may well be stories about us but as Urmstongran says, times have changed and attitudes along with them. Nursing our wrath “to keep it warm “ is a destructive emotion and brings joy to nobody.
Letting things go is far healthier - forgive even if you can’t forget.

Don't know that I was 'nursing my wrath' as you put it MawBeMaw just commenting on hypocrisy I have found in my own life.
Times were very different then of course.

Why are you still talking to her???

Gosh, some stonking examples of hypocrisy and judgement, all women too!

I don't know if this is a case of hypocrisy or just irony but a friend said to me recently in a superior, schoolmarmy tone "You're very judgemental!"

My ex MIL tutted at people having babies outside marriage. She and her husband never celebrated their wedding anniversary so one day I asked what date it was. She then fessed up that they’d married a couple of months before their first child was born.???