The idea of repressed memories is tricky...
As a trauma survivor i have very clear memories of some things and not others. The clear memories are more than enough to know for sure but i know there was likely much more.
What was explained to me is that i likely disascociated at times... I shut down. So while i may have a physical scar, there is no memory that goes with it.
So you can have symtoms and reactions to certain, stimuli... Like if you were present during a violent fight between parents (as an example) you might feel frightened by people having violent fights on the tv. You might have a physical response to that, because you dissasociated, you may have heard brief snippets and not seen, you may have flashes of image but not heard. You might remember the beginning or the aftermath.
There is enough stored memory to protect but not the full picture. Your mind shut it out.
Brains are complex and can at times protect us and so the full memory may not be there to retrieve.
So most psychologists would look to symptoms rather than looking for a repressed memory.
The fact that i dissacociate as an adult is a clear symptom. The fact that I startle at loud noises or flinch at raised arms....
Those symptoms can be treated.
Whether or not repressed memories can be accessed is contraversial from what I have been told.
It is an ongoing debate with no clear findings.
Looking for other clues may help, abusive people who use different forms of abuse share common traits. It might help you to research traits like gaslighging, projection, manipulation, controlling behaviours etc
It may help to see a therapist.
Above all, if someone makes you feel unsafe, if being around them brings out symptoms in you like anxiety, depression, negative physical responses.... If they are using any abusive strategy on you, that is not a safe person for you and you should not feel guilt from distancing yourself for your own mental and physical health.
