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What’s is holding us back?

(9 Posts)
Betty65 Fri 01-Jul-22 18:05:51

We were a happy go lucky in our 60’s with a lovely family and friends that we enjoy. We loved holidays, going away for weekends both with friends and by ourselves.
We had a long haul with my mother who was very needy and demanding and put constraints on our every day life for many years. The worse period of time was during lockdown after she had a heart attack and life ramped up for me and I nearly cracked up but with my husband and family we got through it.
I had a nasty bout of covid in February and did not get a negative test until the day before my mum died so that was difficult but I was with her at the end.
During the bad times my husband and I often spoke about how we were going to live life to the full once the new normal began.
Then the time came, the world opened up, my responsibility had run its course and we were ready to spread our wings.
We were looking forward to a holiday in Crete that had been out off since 2020, then the day before we were going I sprained my knee and the pain was such that we could not go. We were so down but tried to keep our chins up and spent the week in the garden enjoying some sunshine.
However now we want to have that holiday, go away for weekends and start having fun again but something is holding us back, we make excuses not to go. We look at different places to go but always find a negative and don’t book. What is going on, I don’t like it.

midgey Fri 01-Jul-22 18:11:20

It’s simple, given everything that you have been through and the world has been through you have lost your nerve. It doesn’t matter, you can slowly build up again. Do hope you can enjoy a holiday soon.

NotSpaghetti Fri 01-Jul-22 18:13:54

I think you are subconsciously afraid something else bad will happen.
I might consider a few days away first somewhere easy but different and see how you feel.
No need to rush into it.
Your lust for life will surely return.

BlueSky Fri 01-Jul-22 18:38:52

Betty I could have written your post, so you are not alone. My MiL used to live with us, she had lots of ailments and she couldn’t really be left, now she’s no longer there and we are ‘free’, we don’t really want to go on those long haul holidays we were dreaming of. A lot has to do with Covid, now everything is too much trouble. Easier to stay home or at least local, but I realise we are not youngsters, ill health may not leave us a choice for much longer.

Redhead56 Fri 01-Jul-22 18:41:08

You are not on your own so many other people have the same mood. Besides being run ragged with family problems life in general and health issues. Covid has created a difficult life for many and caused stress and anxiety. It can knock your confidence and make some people indecisive too.
I would enjoy what summer we have and plan a really special trip. Later this year or early spring time you might be in a better frame of mind. Whatever you decide to do encourage each other you won't regret it. You deserve something to look forward too everyone does.

Bellanonna Fri 01-Jul-22 18:41:26

Yes. I agree with NS. Im not surprised you feel as you do. Try a short break away then rebook Crete. My favourite Greek island. Lovely people and so much to see and do. Good luck.

Hithere Fri 01-Jul-22 18:44:52

Too much has happened, you may need time to mourn your loss and find your new normal

Crete is not going anywhere.

Hithere Fri 01-Jul-22 18:45:14

Meaning - Crete will be there when you are ready

Mapleleaf Mon 04-Jul-22 12:28:13

Such a lot has happened to you Betty65, in a relatively short space of time. Even in “normal” pre pandemic times, what you have gone through with your mother would have taken its toll, but with it happening during lockdown, then you suffering from covid, then you hurting your knee, and having to cancel your holiday, it’s bound to affect both you and your DH emotionally. Try to be kind to yourself - grief affects us all in different ways. As other posters say, Crete will be there for another time when you and your DH feel more confident. In the meantime, perhaps start building your confidence for travel by booking some short breaks in the UK, or even days out to start with, then when you feel emotionally stronger, Crete will be there for you.