Differing views of the older and younger generations.

I know what you mean . My 1st husband and I shared half of guiness and a bag of chips on our 1st wedding anniversary. It was in the early 70s and times were tough. We managed but we're prepared to really do without to save for our house etc.

We went out to a restaurant once a year on our anniversary. Between times we had dinner parties which usually consisted of inviting 2 or 3 couples round to test sample a new recipe. The next week was someone else's turn.
Fun times. Other times we'd call it a party with music and dancing.

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary with a Betty’s doughnut each, in our new house which contained a cooker, a carpet, a bed and a sofa. Nothing since, though more exciting and glamorous, has topped,that.

A doughnut each - wonderful. ?

We sat on garden chairs until we could afford a 3 piece suite.

Some, probably most, older people learned to be frugal during wartime childhoods when rationing was normal.

It’s very difficult to compare because things that are essential to fit in with modern society now just weren’t there, or part of life when we were young. Life was much more frugal than now, and I would not judge my kids by what they spend.

Fair enough Farzanah- the issue arises when they complain bitterly that they are hard up and can't save for a house!

I do think it is very difficult to compare.
I was (mostly) a stay-at-home mum (did occasional casual work), a lot of economies were easy to make, as I had time. We had camping holidays, and going out was a rare treat.
When I went back to work, I remember a conversation with a new colleague. She said that she would have loved to stay at home with her little ones, but they couldn't afford it. She said 'That's why I don't camp - I need 2 weeks when everything is done for me'. She and her DH had a take-away or went out every Friday, because they needed a treat at the end of a busy week.
So what looked like an extravagance to me, was a way of coping for her.

My children indulge in expensive fun outings which I feel, the reduction of, will ease the pressure when the going gets tough as I'm sure it's going to.

My DS and DIL, both earn good money, spend a lot on meals out, holidays, experiences.

There are things that I would rather spend on their house if it were me, improving the kitchen or similar, but it’s their life and up to them. They can afford what they do, but it seems a bit shallow to me.

Different viewpoints.

Interesting point Kim at least they will have something they can give up!
I have things I can give up but don't want to.
I spend money on activity classes which I love but they aren't essential. I also frequent cafés but I consider that important too. It prevents loneliness

Standards of living were lower then. We had and did things in the early 1970s that our parents could never afford or dream of in the 1930s and 40s.

We ran a car and I boughty ready made clothes and did not make everything I wore, as my mother had.

I know there are a lot of young folk who genuinely are in difficulties. But there are also those like my stepson who complain about the difficulties of saving for a mortgage and still have holidays, lunches out, spend a lot socialising and on expensive clothes.. They want it all.

People have always spent their income differently from others
.Many years ago we had friends who boasted they rarely spent more than £3.50 on food for the week .Our bill was at least 4 times that.they lived on rubbish ,crispy pancakes and other strange stuff that never crossed our door.BUT...they holidayed every year and spent a lot of money on eating out for that 2 weeks.

They then boasted they had put on a stone each in a fortnight because of the amount of food and drink they had consumed .
We ate well and still do so never put on weight on holiday,even when we tried things I didn't cook at home .Holidays were never a priority either we like to live well and enjoy life everyday not just for two weeks a year.
It would be a very strange world if we were all the same .

My DD1 and DD2 both work hard and are married to men with well paid jobs. I think they’re a bit wasteful and extravagant at times but I’m so very happy to see them in lovely homes and having all kinds of luxuries. I want them to have the best they can. On the other hand DD3 lives in a small house on a restricted income with a low paid husband. I hate to see her having so much less than her sisters. She doesn’t seem to be envious but it must be hard for her at times.

Caleo

Some, probably most, older people learned to be frugal during wartime childhoods when rationing was normal.

I was born in 1956 and got married in 1979, buying our first home a few months before. We had very little for our new house, just a fridge and a mattress on the floor but I certainly was not aware of rationing or war time restrictions. It was just how it was for our generation, post university students in our first jobs.

Young parents now value recreation time and mental health. They make it a priority and will cut back other things in order to make it work. In some cases, it is as important as having electricity and water.

Unless they are asking to borrow money, I don't think it is anyone else's business what they spend.

Maybe I should have said young people, including couples and parents.

I think that there is a much bigger variety of stuff to do now. When I was first married there was not the large number of different types of restaurants and salons that there are now but there were definitely more than when I was growing up in the 70s and most people used what was available.

I think many people (including older people) like to have a bit of a moan that they are hard up when they know that they aren't really.

aonk

My DD1 and DD2 both work hard and are married to men with well paid jobs. I think they’re a bit wasteful and extravagant at times but I’m so very happy to see them in lovely homes and having all kinds of luxuries. I want them to have the best they can. On the other hand DD3 lives in a small house on a restricted income with a low paid husband. I hate to see her having so much less than her sisters. She doesn’t seem to be envious but it must be hard for her at times.

If your youngest daughter has her own home, and a husband she loves and who loves her, she has everything and you should be glad for her.
Don't pity her lack of material things. They're not what's important.

People often have personal reasons behind why they make different choices in life and I don't feel we should make judgements.
My youngest daughter and her partner rent a flat They love going on trips away to exotic locations and have been saving to go to Japan. On chatting to her and trying to convince her to consider saving for a deposit for their own property she explained to me her thoughts on her life. She has encountered loss and serious illness where we thought we would lose her. Now she feels that she wants to see the world rather than be tied to a mortgage. Part of me still wants her to have security but can see why she feels that way considering what she has been through.
We all live through different circumstances and these affect how we view the goals in our life.

Calendargirl you'd probably think my kitchen is appalling. I don't think I'm shallow for not replacing it (although I could) I just don't see a need to spend money on that since it is functioning all right, as it is.

I have an AC who saved for a mortgage, saves for a pension and knows every pound that she spends.
The other AC rents her home, spends pretty much all she earns, has many expensive sporty hobbies and travels when she can.
It is easy to say who is most frugal but she does not get the enriching life experiences the other DD does.
What they both have is choices and that is what matters to me.

FarNorth

Calendargirl you'd probably think my kitchen is appalling. I don't think I'm shallow for not replacing it (although I could) I just don't see a need to spend money on that since it is functioning all right, as it is.

No, I didn’t mean it like that. They live in a largeish 4 bedroom Victorian house, but the kitchen is quite small for the size of the rest of the house. They have an adjoining outside area with an old wash house, where the washing machine is kept. DIL has to go outside to put the washing on, not much fun in winter. She doesn’t complain, but I can’t help thinking that if it were DS having to do it, he would think differently.

Long term, it would be much more practical to turn the whole wash house area into an adjoining utility, more convenient and adding value to their property. DS would think that too expensive though.

But they prefer expensive holidays and suchlike. That’s what I meant as ‘shallow’, and my (unspoken) opinion. To be fair to DS, DIL is just as keen on the holidays.

Regarding kitchens, my own is 17 years old, rather dated now, but it serves its purpose. The washing machine is in there, I don’t have a utility room either, but at least I don’t have to go outside to put a load of washing on!

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