Staying put or moving house?

My house is probably too large for me but the location is fine and it has space for the family when they visit. I've toyed with downsizing but too much hassle. Every winter I think I should have moved and every summer I'm so glad I didn't because of my lovely garden. I'm a victim of my own indecision!

I can understand how your husband feels, I long to get back to the coast where I grew up, but family health problems have kept us here and we will probably be here forever now.
We don’t have such long distances to travel as you do in Australia, but as you age even a 5 hour round trip to satisfy (my) longing to see the sea is too much. MrOops is quite happy here.
So we compensate by going away for long weekends, every 3 months or so.
I sympathise, but sometimes you have to listen to your head. Maybe you can get some holidays there instead?

I always wanted to live in a village in the countryside but now I appreciate that where we live is near to all the facilities that we need as we age. A move would be stressful now for us I’m sure so trips out to fields and woods and perhaps renting a cottage now and then has to be enough for us now.
I’m envious of you living near your children. My two emigrated to Sydney years ago.

Way too many old people for the facilities available

At the risk of sounding harsh, the OP would be adding to the problem if she were to move there.

I'd heave a sigh and stay, family and facilities matter so much, and take as many away breaks by the coast as long as you are both able.

I'm moving within my city next year, to be closer to the things I want and more suitable, near shops, GP, et al.. I've never had space to put family up anyway.

The biggest one has been my family suggested I move up to be near them, as they won't be moving. 3 hour drive. that's the hardest decision, but to leave all that is familiar - it seems to hard to do, tho when i was younger would have done it without thought.

We are lucky enough to have two homes. Our main one is a 10 minute walk into town, near the station and bus stops. Doctors and shops on our doorstep, family nearby. Lots of friends and clubs I belong to. Two hospitals 20 minutes away.

Dh has always wanted to move to our seaside cottage permanently. We love it so much BUT at least an hours journey to nearest hospital, 2 miles from the nearest small town, no buses and no friends or family close by. It’s a lovely bolt hole but a very old property that needs quite a lot of maintaining.

I would advise ‘Stay where you are’ - holiday by the sea when you can.
Be careful what you wish for.
Good luck x

You head knows the answer

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Can you stay put and afford regular mini breaks to the seaside . I agree the journeys are too long if you have medical issues.

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You have to be realistic as life unfolds, and not chase dreams or stubbornly hold onto something that is no longer a viable or sensible option.

My Dad did use to live by the seaside, and yes he loved the location.
But being widowed and not coping well meant he had no sensible option but to move near us.
He has all the support he needs now within the community and feels much safer.

We moved to be near local shops and services but hospitals, train and anything out of town mean a car journey which may become impossible in later life. Bus and taxi are pretty rare round here. We couldn't afford to move again given all the on-costs so we will adapt the house as we get older. Lots of pundits think pensioners are protected but they don't think about access to essential services which the Tories have underfunded for years.

I understand how you feel Aussiegran I have always wanted to go back to coastal living as well. Sadly as Oopsadaisy said in this case I think your head has to rule your heart. Stay where you are but enjoy as many holidays as you can by the sea.
Good luck.

We’ve done just as you say many others have done in your OP, Aussiegran and moved from a rural location which we loved to the edge of a town. My heart is still in the countryside but we are loving the benefits of being nearer to services and family.

We can be in the centre of town in ten minutes, when before ten minutes only brought us to the edge of a tiny town. We can walk to some shops and get buses and my DD and family can just pop in. I’ve actually been surprised at how little I’ve missed our old home, despite living there for 25 years.

Going by the description of the place you are thinking of moving to, I’m not sure I’d want to up sticks to a place full of people my own age. I like to see lots of people at different stages of their lives.

Is there any possibility of moving somewhere nearer to your current home but with more access to the kind of things you’d both like? Maybe downsizing if it’s a more expensive area?

Similar feelings AussieGran. The place I long to be is very remote and my increasing disability and health issues make it impossible as a place to live. It’s a long drive simply to reach a main road and often inaccessible in winter. We have to content ourselves with occasional visits. I love where we live, next to a marina, and both of the hospitals that I attend are 15 - 20 minutes drive away. I still have guilt feelings because Mr. B is burdened with me and my increasing dependency, I used to be so strong and capable,

I hope you and your DH have a comfortable and happy retirement.

We downsized 12 years ago and sacrificed space (a semi backing onto meadows) for location (town centre living in a small apartment) at the age of 56y when we were still working. I’m glad we did it then. As you age (Himself is now 70y) things just seem so much more effort. What we did then, thinking back, we just took in our stride. Now? It would seem a major upheaval.

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That’s such a shame, Aussiegran after all your hard work.

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That mention of EthC.......!!!! I have given up watchng that now. So many, middle -older aged people purchasing enormous proprties, with loads of stairs in them and to reach trhem. down 'lovely' remote country lanes. I used to want to scream at them. Note we are shown the 'nearby village' with its pub and occasional shop - but no proper shops, doctors, no public transport, etc., love it when they say that their town of work is within a '50 minutes drive' - which means it is fifty minutes at 2 O' clock in the morning in mid-summer!!! But more like two hours plus daytime!!!

Franbern and so many of them want to keep llamas and have a couple of acres to grow their own veg. 😂

Aussiegran, we would like to live in Kiama but couldn’t afford it. Our son in law is building a new house further down the coast that our DD keeps telling us he could customise for us.
Trouble is even with all the problems in the U.K. this is home.
The rest of our quite large family is here and we see them all regularly.
We are spending a couple of months over there after Christmas, dividing our time between Sydney and Sussex. We’ll be torn again and doing our sums on the balcony. At least we’ll be warm.

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.