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What would you say if your husband told you to stop squawking?

(142 Posts)
25Avalon Tue 29-Nov-22 10:02:35

OK I am good and mad and sad at the moment. Dd rang about a query she had with dh. He claimed I was the one who raised it and it wasn’t him. Then when I protested said ‘stop squawking’ and didn’t like I disagreed in front of dd. This isn’t the first time he has used this horrible expression although I have told him not to. I think he does it primarily to deflect attention away from what I have said especially if I am right! He has phobic issues inculcated by his mother when he was very young so is used to trying to manipulate people but I find this just plain rude and disrespectful.

Sparklefizz Tue 29-Nov-22 10:04:00

You're right! It is "plain rude and disrespectful".

Nannylovesshopping Tue 29-Nov-22 10:06:26

I would have said, don’t be so bloody rude! then gone out for
the day and spoilt my self with a very expensive present.

Elegran Tue 29-Nov-22 10:10:21

I'd have done a chicken-laying-an-egg impersonation right in his ear, very loud, and then said. "That was squawking. If that is what you don't want me to do, I am very happy to stop it, but if I am just pointing out that you are wrong, in a normal voice, I shall keep on doing it."

GrannyGravy13 Tue 29-Nov-22 10:11:38

I would have probably told him he was being rude and disrespectful and then gone shopping with the credit card that he pays 🛍️🛍️🛍️

pascal30 Tue 29-Nov-22 10:22:41

totally unacceptable...

eazybee Tue 29-Nov-22 10:31:21

Laid an egg on his head.

Elegran Tue 29-Nov-22 10:34:44

Snap, eazybee roastchicken

Yammy Tue 29-Nov-22 10:35:48

I would have told him ladies don't squawk and not spoken to him for a few hours. In our house that would be really frustrating for"Where's me". my Rohan man.
Or got him after DD had left and told him that he did it again you would accuse him of something similar in front of her and see how he felt. I get accused of using a teacher's voice,but he uses his persuasive 'Calming the patient voice" when he wants a favour and I point it out.

paddyann54 Tue 29-Nov-22 10:36:44

Its only a word ,ignore it .I dont let stuff like that bother me.Life is too short .If you cant ignore it LAUGH at it .

henetha Tue 29-Nov-22 10:39:23

Buy him a cockatiel for Christmas. Or a large bad-tempered parrot. He will get plenty of squawking then. grin

biglouis Tue 29-Nov-22 10:43:24

I an remember having a difference of opinion with a male colleague when I was a research assistant at uni and he used a similar expression, plus a couple of others. They were the kinds of expressions he would not have used to a man. I gave him an opportunity to apologise or be reported for "sexist terminology" and he laughed. He ended up being made to attend an awareness course so he kept his distance from me after that.

All too often men will attempt to excuse themselves by saying:

Its just banter
Its just a joke

and so on.

GrauntyHelen Tue 29-Nov-22 10:45:37

I would have said "hello my husband has just dropped dead can you come and uplift the corpse ! "

Redhead56 Tue 29-Nov-22 10:54:52

If is was my husband he would have sore ears and a headache for the rest of the day. I would be out getting retail therapy and loving every minute.

Theexwife Tue 29-Nov-22 10:59:04

It wouldn’t bother me, its a fair word to use if somebody is going on in a certain way during a disagreement.

Maybe ask him not to use that expression instead of telling him.

Smileless2012 Tue 29-Nov-22 11:08:23

I'd tell him I'll stop squawking when he stops being an a... hole.

LRavenscroft Tue 29-Nov-22 13:11:36

This is a phrase my paternal family used a lot. They were East Enders. My mother and I found it incredibly rude but 50 years ago it seemed to be used a lot in our family as part of a superiority campaign. I am really sorry that it has been used again as it is degrading, offensive and quite honestly archaic. Please find a way to retaliate and put him in his place. Good luck.

nadateturbe Tue 29-Nov-22 13:18:03

How extremely rude. I too would have a spending spree - on his credit card!

Blossoming Tue 29-Nov-22 13:23:53

I would have said “That wasn’t squawking, THIS is squawking” and given him a demo.

HousePlantQueen Tue 29-Nov-22 13:25:00

Very rude and meant to demean you. I would be off out for the day before I said anything which would make things worse. If you previously said that you dislike this expression, it is even worse.

Caleo Tue 29-Nov-22 13:34:18

He was trying to defend himself. It's very hard to talk to an defensive -aggressive person who thinks he is being blamed.

I had to train my adopted Jack Russel not to be defensive-aggressive. The dog was a quick learner and training sorted his problem. I don't know the method for teaching an adult human not to show his teeth and growl. Punishment probably does not work.

Daddima Tue 29-Nov-22 13:41:14


Its only a word ,ignore it .I dont let stuff like that bother me.Life is too short .If you cant ignore it LAUGH at it .

This. I don’t know how I would survive life if I took things like this to heart.

Esspee Tue 29-Nov-22 14:22:04

Nobody would be allowed to treat me like that.

Norah Tue 29-Nov-22 14:40:38

I believe I might tell him that it was time he signed up to memory testing as I knew what I did and didn't say - and he apparently had no notion to what he'd said. Further, disagreeing in front of an adult child is normal, nothing to complain of, imo. He's being ridiculous.

However, I'd not lower myself to his level of rude by making up silly ways of "punishment" - he, too, is not a child, I assume.

BlueBelle Tue 29-Nov-22 15:12:51

I don’t know how long your marriage has been but to be honest if that was the worst you ve had to complain about
you ve had a pretty good time
It’s just an expression I d have retaliated with something but not get that upset about it