Any nurses or carers

Did you discuss the problem with your Team Manager 1987H?

I worked in private care so was lucky in that I felt I had enough time to properly look after people.

The downside to that is clients became reliant over time and the less they did for themselves the less able they became.

I striggled to cope with watching people's energy and happiness decline.

When my first client died it was too much for me so I retrained.

Obviously not the job for you 1987etc I hope you find something which suits you better.

having mood swings can be a symptom of MS can't it?

I worked in a care home and I used to remind myself that people can become irritable or stressed when they find something challenging. I think having a condition that destroys your mental capacity and not knowing who people are must make clients very frightened.

Care isn't an easy job and it is a travesty the carers/HCAs are not paid for their skills, as it is a skilled job - whatever anyone else tries to tell you

Doesn’t sound like the job for you.
As a former nurse, I couldn’t nor wouldn’t cherry pick to care for only the nicer patients. It just doesn’t work that way as all patients, nasty, abusive or violent deserve to be cared for.

I do hope you find something more suited to your skills.

greenmossgiel, yes the manager knew but didn't seem to care so long as the money was coming in. Kalu , you must have the patience of a saint.I guess most nurses do. I am a tolerant person and have helped many older people in other ways,as a volunteer and and for work I would never ever be nasty to someone caring for me whatever what was wrong. Thankyou JaneJudge, I guess thats why there's such a turn over of carers. The company I was with have gone out of business thank goodness. It put me off looking for another job.

Kalu

Doesn’t sound like the job for you.
As a former nurse, I couldn’t nor wouldn’t cherry pick to care for only the nicer patients. It just doesn’t work that way as all patients, nasty, abusive or violent deserve to be cared for.

I do hope you find something more suited to your skills.

Singing from the same hymn sheet Kalu

I did caring for 8/9 years but never ever felt anyone was horrible in fact quite the reverse
You don’t sound as if your best side would be working with people People s persona can change in pain, age, and mentally difficult situations but I never found anything that a bit of love, time and humour couldn’t overcome
I hope you find a different job outside people care

sodapop

Kalu

Doesn’t sound like the job for you.
As a former nurse, I couldn’t nor wouldn’t cherry pick to care for only the nicer patients. It just doesn’t work that way as all patients, nasty, abusive or violent deserve to be cared for.

I do hope you find something more suited to your skills.

Singing from the same hymn sheet Kalu

You will know then that it’s all part and parcel of the job sodapop

Unfortunately 1987, hope you don’t mind that I have shortened your username, the majority of those type of patients usually have valid reasons for their unpleasant behaviour be it, mental health issues, fear or inebriation/drugs related.

Good luck

I think carers are grossly undervalued. IMO they are not paid nearly enough for the difficult and challenging (often) work they do.

The reward can only be the satisfaction of what they are doing because there's nothing else to attract them to the job. Which is probably why there aren't enough of them.

1987H2001M2002Inanny I don’t mean to offend but as a nurse or carer you can’t class patients in your care as either “horrid” or “nice” and let their behaviour influence how you feel about them. I’ve nursed patients with MS and the physical and psychological effects of it are “horrid” on the patient.

I recently spent a week in hospital with a family member with a severe learning disability to help with his physical care and allay his distress while he was acutely ill with sepsis. On at least 3 occasions overnight, on the all male ward, I witnessed nurses being physically assaulted ie slapped and kicked by a patient with mental health issues. They were repeatedly on the receiving end of vile verbal abuse from 2 men who could best be described as volatile. But they continued to treat these patients with the utmost respect and compassion. They turned up for their next shift knowing they were going to be verbally abused again and possibly physically assaulted.

Unfortunately it goes with the job. I think most people would agree that nursing and care staff are grossly undervalued and underpaid if they spent a week in an NHS ward.

What Kalusaid. You take the rough with the smooth in the community and must treat all patients the same. Walk a mile in their shoes and your own attitude will change as it has to if you are going to be involved in the care giving world.

Agree with the comments made. I really don’t know how nurses and carers cope with people with mental health problems, which make their behaviour aggressive and abusive. This on top of other medical problems people have I think those that do are angels and have a special calling. I could not do it, I could the caring and personal care but not the violence, so it’s not for me.
1987 I hope you find a job better suited to you knowing you tried.

I had a conversation once with a specialist dementia carer and she said that some of the situations she found herself in were deplorable. People so nasty they flung out at her when she tried to help them, swore at her and used foul language, homes so dirty you had to put on special gear, even on your feet because no one cleaned. She was an angel and had such a peaceful disposition. I always admired her. My mother, although she had dementia, loved this lady who came to bath her.

A good friend does community care, it’s crazy far too much driving, too little time to do what’s needed, poor pay, useless organizers.
Only the sense of caring keeps her going but is close to throwing the towel in.

Thus it ever was Katie59 I managed a team of community carers twenty years ago and we were not allowed travelling time. So you finished the care of one person at 10am and had to be at the next one at 10am. However hard we tried to plan the visits something always had to give. Carers never finished on time.
Seems like there is no improvement now.

Dickens

I think carers are grossly undervalued. IMO they are not paid nearly enough for the difficult and challenging (often) work they do.

The reward can only be the satisfaction of what they are doing because there's nothing else to attract them to the job. Which is probably why there aren't enough of them.

I have worked in a care home for 11 years now, and the pay is appalling really for what we do, minimum wage BUT I do love the job and yes residents can get challenging because our home has high dementia residents, but it’s all part of the job and I go home the end of the day, knowing I have done a good job and hopefully made a little bit of a good difference to somebody’s life… I am 70 next week and only work part time three six hour shifts a week, but I have no intention of giving it up…(yes I could get more working in a Wetherspoons) because job satisfaction is the most important thing, and I get that with this job. 😁…

Well done Shinamae still working as a carer in a care home on the verge of your 70th birthday👏

I hope you have a lovely birthday 🎂

I worked as a Community Carer for 20-odd years (I was a Coordinator at the same time, for a few years). I loved the job, but the things that really spoilt the job were -

high turnover of staff
being 'phoned again and again, being asked to do extra calls (even when I worked 50 hours a week for a while)
the lack of time between calls (10 minutes to get from one to another was never enough time)
Poor pay
Not being paid travelling time
poor mileage allowance

Even when clients were unpleasant, aggressive, and even violent (most had dementia), I remained polite and cheerful when I was on duty.

I couldn't be a nurse or a carer for treble the pay (which is what they deserve)

I have so much respect for carers.

I was a nurse, but am now in the hands of domiciliary care workers, who are actually lovely (bar one who is also lovely but has left my key safe open 4 times and let my dog out) Fortunately, my daughter spotted the dog and the key safe hanging open with keys in it, but as it has happened several times now I have asked that they don't send her, too dippy!

My carers do not have a contract, they are paid minimum wage + a bit for unsocial hours. They were getting paid 10p a mile!! When I last was able to work in 2010 I was getting 45p a mile! A lot of them are Romanian/Czech and obviously want to go home from time to time - one said to me that she was scared to ask if she could have time off, so I explained - no contract therefore no obligation. No possibility of losing the job as they are so desperate for staff. They work very hard. One client who was always before me in a morning was so vile to them all that many were in tears. Everything they did was wrong - toast too light, too dark, too cold, too hot etc and most actually asked for a break from her as she had them in tears. She died on Christmas Day probably to cause as much havoc as she could!

My son-in-law was in care, but left a year ago as it was making him ill. He was lower management, had no work/life balance, was doing 72 hrs a week, not seeing his wife and very small children and because he was salaried, he was led to believe that he wouldn't get paid for those hours (although we found out subsequently it says in this contract that they should have been, so are awaiting Tribunal. He absolutely loved his residents, and particularly liked working with dementia - Care should NOT be losing people like him!

sodapop , you have hit the nail on the head. I collapsed once in my garden at the end of a shift. It was only two MS people who upset me. Another carer with absolute patience eventually said that she was getting to the point of giving up with this younger MS lady. The older lady had our very experienced trainer one day and deliberately slid out of her wheelchair so an ambulance had to be called and thought it very funny . One of the people who ran the agency went to see this lady because she was upsetting the carers so much. I looked after several more people with MS and many people with dementia and other needs. Although it was exhausting I loved helping them.

Made in Yorkshire.... a HUGE thankyou for your post. The vile client you describe is exactly what I'm talking about. I can only think that some people who need care and are nasty were always that way in all parts of their lives.We wouldn't associate with them normally.

1987H2001M2002Inanny

Made in Yorkshire.... a HUGE thankyou for your post. The vile client you describe is exactly what I'm talking about. I can only think that some people who need care and are nasty were always that way in all parts of their lives.We wouldn't associate with them normally.

Exactly! Despite the fact that carers shouldn't have favourites, and shouldn't pick and choose, it's human nature really, but you cannot show it ....

It amazes me that managers do not give their staff travelling time - someone has to lose, either the client doesn't get their allotted time, or the carer is on overtime, and should be paid for it .... I also find with my carers, that they may be with me for one call, then have to go to a client possibly even as far as 20 miles away, then come back to my area for tea or bed calls! I don't actually think the co-ordinators have a clue about the geography of the area - mostly young women ... I could do that job with my eyes shut!

I wonder though about MS - there seems to be a bit of a theme going on here? MS is generally diagnosed when you are younger (I have now been tested 3 times since I was 19 as I do have symptoms and nerve damage) I remember back to that time (I am almost 61 now) and my Dad asking me if I would like to go to Canada on holiday and I responded with 'I am not in a wheelchair yet'. He said 'you know too much'! That was in the days before computers and the like, but I knew what they were testing for. I suppose that if you re younger and you have all that facing you, it must be a challenge. But, also, the brain controls both conscious and unconscious actions by sending messages to all parts of the body. Different parts of the brain control different things, and the frontal lobe is responsible for the control of emotions and their outward expression. Regardless of your personality, nerve damage in this region of the brain can affect the way people feel or react, and can cause them to behave in a way that seems out of character.

I wish I could still DO something and have a purpose. I do what I can online and am in many support groups for my multitude of medical issues and help where I can; and I fight like a bulldog with a wasp to get Govt and the media interested in the dreadful way the disabled are treated in the UK, but really its not enough ...