Gransnet forums


Look after yourself. Light observation.

(11 Posts)
LRavenscroft Fri 31-Mar-23 10:16:45

Yesterday at my craft group I arrived on time and there were two free spaces to sit. One was next to a lady who finds fault with everything and is very negative and the other was next to a very warm, empathic, chatty lady. I chose the seat next to the latter. I know that if I had sat next to the former I would have felt drained by the time the afternoon ended. By sitting next to the warm lady, I left the group in good spirits, having taken care of my own well being. I know we should be kind etc but I've got to a stage where I need to look after me. Just and observation.

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 31-Mar-23 10:27:27

I know how you feel, we meet up with another couple just a few times a year for lunch, she is a real misery, last week we went but she was unable to come , I sat next to a lovely chatty lady and really enjoyed the lunch.
As we left the husband of the lady who couldn’t make it said that she was so sorry not to be able to join us because I really cheer her up and she looks forward to seeing me.
Not sure if that’s any help to you!! But maybe the other side of the coin.

Aveline Fri 31-Mar-23 10:29:30

I woke up thing morning and realised that I couldn't face my early morning Aquafit class. I told myself that I was a grown up, retired, didn't need to actually go. Oh the guilt! However a cup of good coffee later DH provided lovely bacon rolls and an email arrived from the sports centre to say that the pool temperature was very cold due to a problem with the heating system. I now feel great!

Aveline Fri 31-Mar-23 10:34:15

LRavenscroft your post reminds me of the theory of radiators and drains. Some people are radiators and emit positive energy and enjoyment. Drains just drain away your own energy and mood.

biglouis Fri 31-Mar-23 10:34:54

I can never understand why people feel guilty about looking out for themselves and putting themselves first from time to time. It probably comes from being single and childfree. If I dont look after myself who else is going to?

Baggs Fri 31-Mar-23 10:40:21

Avoiding annoying people is not unkind, just sensible. Glad you had a good afternoon, Ravens.

wildswan16 Fri 31-Mar-23 12:57:50

I think I would have done the same LR. However I do try sometimes to sit next to people I really find difficult. I try to remember that most of the time I am very fortunate with my life and it isn't the same for everybody.

It is a simple thing to do if you know it will only be for 15 minutes or so - much harder if eating an entire meal or spending the afternoon!

Grantanow Fri 31-Mar-23 13:07:33

It's a good idea to avoid human crocodiles and boa constrictors!

MerylStreep Fri 31-Mar-23 13:11:56

Once I realise they are Oxygen thieves or fun sponges that’s it.
The same goes for those who keep going over their medical woes.

Oreo Fri 31-Mar-23 13:18:09


Once I realise they are Oxygen thieves or fun sponges that’s it.
The same goes for those who keep going over their medical woes.

Met one of those yesterday, having offloaded all her medical miseries onto me she went off cheerfully.

Aveline Fri 31-Mar-23 13:42:14

I quite like being with awkward or difficult people. I know I'm being perverse but they can be a challenge or even secretly amusing for all the wrong reasons.