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Warm feeling

(33 Posts)
downtoearth Wed 27-Sep-23 09:36:53

My son and his partner been together 6 years,parents to my little grandaughter aged 5.
My son always very loving to me.
His partner has always held me at arms length,getting to know me,as little one came along quite quickly,no problem I have just gone at her pace and followed her lead.
I have gradually noticed a warming and thawing over last few months and last night she ended a never before phone call with love you.
I have got a warm fuzzy feeling.

Cabowich Wed 27-Sep-23 09:39:42

That's good to hear. Well done with the patience - it payed off. Long may the good relations continue.

Cabowich Wed 27-Sep-23 09:41:30

Paid off, not payed off blush

GrannyGravy13 Wed 27-Sep-23 09:45:26

How lovely for you, you are obviously a patient and very kind lady who realised your DiL needed time to know you and grow to love you.

We are all different, and cannot instantly love and trust our in-laws on sight.

Shelflife Wed 27-Sep-23 09:45:31

That is heart warming, I am so pleased for you. Clearly you handled the situation well! You must be so happy - great news.

dragonfly46 Wed 27-Sep-23 09:46:36

How lovely. I was in the same position but now feel my DiL has warmed to me too. It took patience but it paid off.

sodapop Wed 27-Sep-23 12:40:51

That's wonderful downtoearth I can understand exactly how good you feel now.
A positive story about a daughter in law for a change.

Namsnanny Wed 27-Sep-23 14:07:04

Agree with everyone, it is heart warming, enjoy your relationship.

I had something similar happen to me, as my dil said she loved me on her wedding day. I was stunned, so didnt reply, just kissed her on the cheek
When I told my son how worried I was about not replying, he said Oh she was probably tipsy and wont remember!😂
I wasnt quite sure what to think after that!

nanna8 Wed 27-Sep-23 14:20:28

Oh that’s lovely,downtoearth. I sometimes think it is a bit harder for mothers of sons than it is for those of us with daughters.

Squiffy Wed 27-Sep-23 14:23:31

How lovely downtoearth! My fuzzy feeling came when DDiL put XxX at the end of a text! Only took fifteen years! 😆

Bella23 Wed 27-Sep-23 15:07:40

I'm really pleased for you.
I have SIL's one has been like my own son since I first met him,in fact he is called the name I was going to call DD's if they were boys. We text each other and if I phone DD and he answers we have a good chat.
The others it has been more gradual and I find one chatters to me when DH is not around.

crazyH Wed 27-Sep-23 15:15:37

Really pleased for you x

downtoearth Wed 27-Sep-23 22:06:10

Thankyou for your replies, it really has warmed me all day.sunshine

Nanatoone Wed 27-Sep-23 22:11:25

How lovely to read this. Absolutely heartwarming.

Theexwife Wed 27-Sep-23 22:47:45

That’s lovely and you behaved so well with what must have felt difficult at times. It must be difficult to be so patient for so long, too many people take offence after a short time and exacerbate the situation, sometimes causing huge family rifts.

Very well done for waiting 5 years.

downtoearth Thu 28-Sep-23 07:57:13

Thankyou all of you, I am not a saint and many times wondered wether she just didnt like me as she can be very outspoken,and wondered if there would ever come a time I would be accepted.
She comes willingly to me for a hug now when we meet, that is when I knew she was warming to me.

Daisydaisydaisy Fri 29-Sep-23 12:00:14

Love this 🩷💜💚

Bluesmum Fri 29-Sep-23 12:26:14

Really pleased for you and thank you so much for sharing such lovely, positive news. I love my dil dearly, after a very shaky start, she is the best thing that ever happened to my son, just took me awhile to realise it, so grateful she was patient with me!!!

Zuzu Fri 29-Sep-23 12:26:41

I and my DD & DS are comfortably verbal in expressing our love for each other and have a good, transparent relationship. They're now in their 30s with children. When they took a spouse, I often ended phone conversations with "love you, bye" or a heart on a text, not thinking anything about it. After a few months/year or so, both in-laws began to ending the same way. My DD/DS have both told me in many ways their spouses are more comfortable sharing with me than their own parents. I have a friend, in her 70s, whose parents never said, "I love you" to her. I always make it a point to end with a "love you." I think so often people don't get the love and affirmation from their family we all need and they just quit expecting it. I never asked or expected anything in return, just wanted them to know I cared.

Romola Fri 29-Sep-23 12:35:02

I'm so glad for you. We've been in a similar situation. Our DiL was really difficult at first, very possessive of DS, didn't want to have anything to do with us and told her parents not to be friendly with us. But they did come to see us for tea... which went on until 11 pm and about 6 bottles of wine and we got on brilliantly. I think they must have told her that she wasn't behaving very sensibly, for after that she gradually unfroze and has become quite affectionate.

Luckygirl3 Fri 29-Sep-23 12:56:52

Well done - this must make you very happy.

I have no DILs but several SILs. I found it hard to get to know one of them who was a bit tongue-tied with us for a long time - he was only 17 then! I think one of the reasons he found it hard was that my OH was his GP - it must have felt a bit difficult to be bedding his GP's daughter!! smile. But when my OH died 3 years ago he came up to me and said: "I expect you need a hug". I thought that was very sweet.

Cagsy Fri 29-Sep-23 13:08:47

Well done for taking things at a pace she was comfortable with, you can't force good relationships. I am delighted that both of my 'almost' DiLs are lovely and I have a great relationship with them and my SiL - and that they all seem to have good relationships between them as well. Their children get on well too when they have the chance to be together, oldest is 16 and youngest 10 but we have a new one on the way next year, a first for our youngest DS, which is exciting.
I'm always very grateful for this as things can easily go adrift in families.

Gundy Fri 29-Sep-23 15:16:59

These things take time. You played your cards right and it worked. It’s all about TRUST. So happy you have reached a happy place. It may even open more doors for you.
USA Gundy

knspol Fri 29-Sep-23 15:45:41

Lovely to read this, you must be very happy.

downtoearth Fri 29-Sep-23 16:20:37

Thankyou all for your lovely replies.
Still feeling really happy
As a little family they are preparing to lose my sons much loved staffy over the next year,he is currently exhausted after 6 moths of chemo,and just diagnosed with stage 2 kidney disease,and heart failure.
I will be here to love and support if and when they need me.
So sad that maybe we have bonded for this reason.