DS and DiL "babying" 3yo GD

This is their child and they should be left to bring her up in their own way. As long as she is healthy and happy don't interfere.

Don't even mention it.

Not your child, not your monkeys

Your son and daughter in law sound as though they are doing a very good job of parenting. They are doing things their own way in line with current thinking.
Keep that lip zipped, absolutely don't interfere and tell them often what a great job they are doing

It is entirely up to the parents how they bring up their child. There is nothing to be gained from you mentioning it and could cause awkwardness.

I would have been quite annoyed if my parents thought their way was best and told me so.

Calipso

Your son and daughter in law sound as though they are doing a very good job of parenting. They are doing things their own way in line with current thinking.
Keep that lip zipped, absolutely don't interfere and tell them often what a great job they are doing

Thank you. Do you know where the current guidance is? Surely it isn't to not try until they're nearly 4?

Thanks all, would you follow their wishes when they're with you aswell? I'll not push, but equally I don't think I should give the dummy everytime she asks as she doesn't need it at 3?

I would definitely keep out if it. As for the dummy, most children grow out of give it up by the age of 5 or thereabouts. They sound good parents to me.

MrsThatcher

I would definitely keep out if it. As for the dummy, most children grow out of give it up by the age of 5 or thereabouts. They sound good parents to me.

Oh wow, I'm out of the loop I thought they were gone by 6 months. Where's it say kids have them until 5? I'll not interfere then if it's normal and a comfort.

You can try and distract her as far as the dummy goes, give her some cuddles or sing a little song, I would probably give in if she was wasn't well.
I remember my dentist ( very old school) telling me that he could tell straight away if a child had had a dummy for to long as it encouraged the front teeth to overbite , perhaps that's why so many children have to have braces on their teeth these days.

It’s up to the parents to decide when they want the little one to give up the dummy. Children will almost certainly give up themselves as they get a bit older. I don’t think it’s worth upsetting the child and getting them to give up before they are ready. Of course you can always encourage the child to give it up but I don’t think that it’s up to you.

I agree with everything you say Amy but I would leave the potty training to them.
As for the dummy, I would only give it to her if she wants it when you look after her.

No Amy !! First rule of Grandparenting follow their rules and keep your thoughts to yourself.
"Advice" changes for parents on a weekly basis it appears and they all muddle through somehow !
Just be proud you have a great relationship, allow it to blossom.

sharon103

I agree with everything you say Amy but I would leave the potty training to them.
As for the dummy, I would only give it to her if she wants it when you look after her.

Thank you, she'll ask for it and when I don't give her it, be fine in 5 mins. But I'll let her have it when she wants. She's been asking for nappy changes sometimes ( some days she'll sit there and not ever be bothered) it's made me think she's been ready a while and brought me to post this

hazel93

No Amy !! First rule of Grandparenting follow their rules and keep your thoughts to yourself.
"Advice" changes for parents on a weekly basis it appears and they all muddle through somehow !
Just be proud you have a great relationship, allow it to blossom.

Thanks I love her dearly and want what's best, and know that's the same for my DS. I didn't realise how different it was in my day. They have her in preschool for the 3 other days and was amazed they could send her based on the rules I knew 25 years ago

62Granny

You can try and distract her as far as the dummy goes, give her some cuddles or sing a little song, I would probably give in if she was wasn't well.
I remember my dentist ( very old school) telling me that he could tell straight away if a child had had a dummy for to long as it encouraged the front teeth to overbite , perhaps that's why so many children have to have braces on their teeth these days.

She already looks to have her teeth affected a little. I think they give her a bottle for bed as well. I'm hoping it doesn't affect her when her baby teeth fall out

Their child, their rules.

Potty training - current thinking is that they'll just do it when they're ready, I believe.
Certainly times have changed just after my DD went to school nursery at 3 over 35 years ago. Children had to be potty trained before they started unless there was a reason they could not manage it. A couple of years later the nursery teacher was not allowed to discriminate against any child who was not toilet trained.

As for the dummy - she won't want to start school using it! Other children might tease her. She might want to throw it away for the fairies' babies one day.

Amy71452

62Granny

You can try and distract her as far as the dummy goes, give her some cuddles or sing a little song, I would probably give in if she was wasn't well.
I remember my dentist ( very old school) telling me that he could tell straight away if a child had had a dummy for to long as it encouraged the front teeth to overbite , perhaps that's why so many children have to have braces on their teeth these days.

She already looks to have her teeth affected a little. I think they give her a bottle for bed as well. I'm hoping it doesn't affect her when her baby teeth fall out

In my (probably limited) experience of several children and grandchildren, family and friends, thumb sucking affected the front teeth more than a dummy ever did.

Lots of children have braces now.

Don't worry about her teeth, most experts think they will be OK if she stops before 7 and thumb sucking is more of a problem www.bos.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/British-Orthodontic-Society-DigitsMarch2019.pdf
Just follow the parent's lead, she is their child and they are trusting her to you. I don't think late potty training will harm her.

‘ Academically’? She’s three years old!
She is also not your responsibility, so just enjoy the time you spend with her, and follow the rules she is used to.

Glorianny

Don't worry about her teeth, most experts think they will be OK if she stops before 7 and thumb sucking is more of a problem www.bos.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/British-Orthodontic-Society-DigitsMarch2019.pdf
Just follow the parent's lead, she is their child and they are trusting her to you. I don't think late potty training will harm her.

Not just my observations then 🙂

I think the problem now is that toddlers probably wear disposable nappies, designed to wick the moisture away.
A wet, soggy towelling nappy was probably a great incentive to change into training pants and use a potty.

Daddima

‘ Academically’? She’s three years old!
She is also not your responsibility, so just enjoy the time you spend with her, and follow the rules she is used to.

I know, silly choice of word. With her letters and number etc, she's above expected at 3, it's just these things. But I can see all develop in time is the approach

Daddima

‘ Academically’? She’s three years old!
She is also not your responsibility, so just enjoy the time you spend with her, and follow the rules she is used to.

Perhaps she can read and recite her times tables?

Thats the problem she'll wee and not feel she's wet until it's soaked so isn't learning

She'll do it when she's ready.

Probably suddenly and both in the next year before she starts school.