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WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

(568 Posts)
LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:39:01

Wanted bar staff, pot washers, llama minders, customers in posh frocks.

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:42:31

Outside catering direct from Australian jungle
Kangaroo testicle pie , cockroach ale and a dry white widgety grub wine.
How’s that for an opening offer.

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:43:28

Open for business

Doodle Sat 02-Dec-23 19:44:52

Me, me, me please. Plenty of experience (some of it to do with pubs).
Crumbs have we gone upmarket? Customer in posh frocks….or is that the Admiral you’re talking about.
Like what you’ve done with the place. Cozy chairs nice tables………….. mirrored ceiling 🤔

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 19:48:12

I’m good at washing pots since we had to get rid of our dishwasher when we downsized. Me name’s Ruby, Miss.

Doodle Sat 02-Dec-23 19:50:47

Watch out Ruby, not sure it’s kitchen pots the new boss is talking about. Proceed with caution 🤣

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 19:53:31

By ‘eck Doodle thanks for the nod. I’ll keep me eyes peeled.

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:55:20

Glad to see you Doodle, always guaranteed to set the tone one way or another, usually the other. The posh frock expectation was to attract GrannyGravy back to keep the Admiral occupied in the absence of Lady Lemon.
Come on in Ruby love, you can start right away. While you’re there you can turn the sprouts on. They need to simmer for 23 days so we can serve em with a traditional turkey stuffed with rat tail and bean curd.

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 19:55:40

Ay up - wonder if lemongove might rock up? She always liked a Good Time.

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:56:34

Wow Ruby them chamberpots is gleaming

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:57:27

We’re certainly hoping for a surprise visit from herself and his lordship

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 19:57:37

I’ll fetch me Marigolds ...

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 19:59:48

Them’s not chamberpots LN them’s the spitoons from t’bar. Getting the sawdust off ‘em was a bit of a bugger but I managed ‘cos I’m a good scrubber.

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 19:59:57

Management have gone with MaizieD economics, speculate to accumulate, casino through the red curtain ladies

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 20:01:47

That wasn’t saw dust Ruby that’s the admirals dandruff

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 20:02:29

He has a penchant for a good scrubber so watch out

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 20:04:53

Mirrored ceilings Doodle, you’re so vain, always on your back looking up over someone’s shoulder

brook2704 Sat 02-Dec-23 20:07:41

Please hire me ! I can look after the llamas ? We’ll have to get them back from the paddock at Lemongrove manor 🤫

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 20:15:31

Welcome aboard Brook, good luck herding those frisky llamas back down the alley, and for goodness sake put a cardy on, too cold for crop tops and hot pants

Urmstongran Sat 02-Dec-23 20:17:08

Eurgh! Dandruff from t’ Admiral? Gawd. I thought he wore a toupee. Must give him a tug next time I see him....

LauraNorderr Sat 02-Dec-23 20:19:52

He does wear a toupee these days, dandruff circa 1964 when spitoons were last cleaned

ixion Sat 02-Dec-23 20:36:53

Oooh, I've been camping it up on the doorstep for yonks waiting for you to reopen. Is Sexy Suzie/Sadie still open down the alley for nice clothes?
Must dash to see when the next boat's due in.
Rumour has it there's a Cruise ship due in. Some Culture job or the other🙄.

Doodle Sat 02-Dec-23 20:42:01

brook if you’re fetching the llamas, look out for you know who. I’ve heard Alarma is as feisty as ever and just as demanding. Don’t know who she thinks she is, only sent the Manor’s butler over to tell me she wants a Fortnum & Mason hamper for Christmas or else!

Doodle Sat 02-Dec-23 20:43:33

Urms not sure we’re providing those sort of services under the new management. 😮

brook2704 Sat 02-Dec-23 20:44:26

Blimey a cruise ship, we’ll have to keep MayHem away from the Admiral then - its been a long time ….