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Unappreciative people

(40 Posts)
Primrose53 Tue 05-Dec-23 20:32:33

About 3 weeks ago we found a debit card in a puddle. We posted our find on Facebook straight away and within a few hours had found the owner.

He lived about 20 miles away and I said I would post it on the Monday. He messaged me nearly every day and i confirmed I had sent it first class on the Monday. A week later i messaged him and he said he had received it but forgot to tell me. He said he would stick a tenner in the post as it saved him cancelling the card and waiting for a new one.

I have never received it and said I wasn’t that bothered but did he ever post it as I never received it. He said he would have to check with his bank!! How is his bank going to know if he posted a tenner? 🤣🤣🤣. Just an unappreciative time waster in my opinion. That is about the third card I have found, 4 wallets and 2 purses and barely a thank you. One wallet was bulging with debit and credit cards and a high security pass to an RAF base which said on it that it was to be kept with the bearer at all times and there would be severe penalties if lost. I handed that into a Police Station but never heard any more.

crazyH Tue 05-Dec-23 20:48:04

There are some very ungrateful people/friends about. My friend and her husband used to visit almost every Saturday around lunch time; always made them a lovely Brunch. The husband passed away last year. I visited her a few times and invited her over. I even offered to pick her up and drop her back. But I haven’t heard from her. Perhaps she never really considered me her friend.

Deedaa Tue 05-Dec-23 20:58:52

A few years ago a beautiful cat turned up at our door. We took him to the vet who checked his microchip. It turned out that he was a pure bred Maine Coon i.e. valuable. The owner had left the registered address so we took him to Battersea at Old Windsor. When I rang to check up on him I was told that they had been able to find the owner's new details and they had been to collect him. I was a bit miffed that they never bothered to send us a thank you note, it's what I would have done.

Marydoll Tue 05-Dec-23 21:55:12

I feel like this tonight. This is regarding a very demanding, unappreciative and ungrateful person, the more I do, the more he expects (not my DH wink ). I am literally spitting tacks tonight.
Why are some people like that? I am always grateful for any support I receive.

Oreo Tue 05-Dec-23 22:00:11

If I ever found a card, wallet or purse I would hand it in to police not contact the owner.The reason? A friend once found a wallet and contacted the owner and he was not only ungrateful but accused her of taking cash from it and threatened her.
No good deed goes unpunished as they say.

Grammaretto Tue 05-Dec-23 22:26:00

Ouch! Horrible stories. I too would always hand in a valuable find to the police.

Deedaa's story of the cat reminded me of when a fairly near neighbour turned up at my house looking for her cat. I said I'd not seen it and had to stop her searching my house. She told me it never left her house and was valuable.
I took her phone number
The following day my DD heard a strange noise and a strange animal, skinny with pointy ears and big eyes shot past her on the landing .
I checked the attic but found nothing but wondered if it could be that cat
I put food and water in the attic and shut the door. Next morning I checked again, nothing
I called the number and a man said he'd come round
2 hours later, the woman came up with a cat holder. I showed her the attic and she came back down carrying the strange animal. It was bald and striped. Not a word of thanks or anything.
People are strange.

DaisyAnneReturns Tue 05-Dec-23 23:29:13

Why do you expect gratitude for doing the right thing? Thank you is nice but anything more would be a bonus surely.

RosiesMaw Wed 06-Dec-23 06:02:35

" Virtue is its own reward " !
We don't do "the right thing" for any reward or gratitude though do we?
A "thank you" may be nice but if none is forthcoming it's no loss- let it go.

nanna8 Wed 06-Dec-23 06:06:26

I’ve handed a few things into police stations over the years- a couple of phones, a wallet. Never heard a word back from any of them but then would you really want to ? Who knows who they are, could be crims or anyone .

nadateturbe Wed 06-Dec-23 07:10:40

We don't do it for reward but he could have let you know it had arrived. What a strange thing to say about sticking a tenner in the post.
And a simple thank you is good manners.

Ashcombe Wed 06-Dec-23 07:29:07

Mine is a different story. Many years ago we found a mobile phone outside our church. This was before they could be locked so we scrolled through the nos. and rang “Mum”! The owner lived at home and it was in our village. He arranged to collect it from our home and arrived with a bottle of wine to show his gratitude.

Curtaintwitcher Wed 06-Dec-23 07:35:01

Please don't let a few ungrateful people put you off. One night my cat went missing. After searching the streets for him, I rang the local vet and was told that a cat fitting the description had been brought in by a motorist. He had left his phone number, so I was able to ring him and thank him. My cat was dead but at least I found out what had happened to him.

sassysaysso Wed 06-Dec-23 07:36:49

I suspect in many cases anxiety tempered with relief get in the way of people expressing their thanks. In the case of Battersea, they have to operate within data protection rules so would not have forwarded on details.

BlueBelle Wed 06-Dec-23 07:39:05

But we don’t all have police stations any more or if we do they are not always opened Oreao

DaisyAnne I don’t think the poster was expecting anything other than a ‘thank you’ surely if she had handed it to him personally he would have thanked her She went to trouble to post it to him she could have made him come and collect it ?

That’s not ‘looking for’ gratitude its should be a two way experience

shysal Wed 06-Dec-23 07:48:36

Many a time, when using a car park or walking near a parking car, I have informed a driver when I noticed a car light was not working. The usual answer is 'I know' with no thanks. They obviously don't care that they are a danger.

Chardy Wed 06-Dec-23 08:10:33

I found assorted 5 bank and credit cards on the beach. DD contacted owner via Facrbook who we thought must be ripping her hair out by now, to say we'd send them registered post. Yes please was the reply, but later that evening, she changed her mind. Her daughter, who she'd been visiting, would come and collect them. Nothing happened. A few days later she changed her mind again. Back to Plan A. We really had lost interest! It was now 4 or 5 days later, frankly we were busy, and this family didn't seem that bothered. A couple of days later "Where are my bank cards?" on Facebook. They got sent. Obviously there was no Thank You or They've arrived. Obviously no offer of paying the postage! Nothing!

nadateturbe Wed 06-Dec-23 08:29:36

Chardy Such rude people. I think you were very good.

lixy Wed 06-Dec-23 08:36:45

'Thank you' is just good manners.

I lost my purse a while ago and a kind person took it to the police station - this is a fair way away so I was very appreciative when a policeman arrived on my doorstep with my purse and all the contents intact. The person hadn't left any contact details so I couldn't thank them. I still feel that that is unfinished business somehow.

biglouis Wed 06-Dec-23 08:38:39

Yes people can be very ungrateful.

A package for someone on the other side of the estate was left by Evri on the pavement outside my gate. My gardener brought it in and if was only after he left that I looked at it and realised it was misdelivered. I had no way of contacting the intended recipient and am not mobile enough to walk so far. 2 days later when my nephew turned up he kindly made a special trip to take the package. The woman was very rude and said "Couldnt you have brought it sooner? We had to ring the seller". Nephew told her that the courier had dumped it outside the house of his disabled aunt. He added that next time it happened he would advise me to leave it where it was to get stolen or spoiled by the rain.

Sago Wed 06-Dec-23 08:39:21

We were driving from our home in Shropshire to the lakes for a holiday with our 3 Children en route my husband had to drop off some documents at a customers ( a well known furniture manufacturers ).

On arrival at their premises the steering on our car went off and we realised we had a serious problem.

The company insisted myself and the children went inside, they provided tea, squash and cakes.

They then loaned us a very nice estate car for the week and arranged for our car to be collected, repaired and returned to them!

We were eternally grateful, we wrote and expressed our gratitude and took some treats in for staff.

How very kind, I’ve never forgotten, I’m sitting on one of their beautiful armchairs now typing!

bikergran Wed 06-Dec-23 08:44:38

If we find mobiles/ bank cards in our supermarket, they are handed in to customer services as its not very long before the customer comes running back in, not sure if they get a thanks but I would hope so. If I ever loose my bank card/s I cancel straight away and just order new ones.

Bella23 Wed 06-Dec-23 09:36:42

My DDs used to regularly lose their bus passes. The stop was at the top of a very steep hill. I gave one money and as she went for the bus a lady came out of a house and gave her, her pass. It did not have our address but she knew who she was looking for. We took her a box of chocolates. It doesn't take much to say thank you.

Elegran Wed 06-Dec-23 09:44:39


If we find mobiles/ bank cards in our supermarket, they are handed in to customer services as its not very long before the customer comes running back in, not sure if they get a thanks but I would hope so. If I ever loose my bank card/s I cancel straight away and just order new ones.

In ours, they are kept for one day at the customer services desk and then destroyed if not claimed. As someone who may not try to use a bank card in the 24 hours after dropping it, that means that by the time I do realise it has gone, it no longer exists, so I have to go through the whole replacement procedure before I can shop.

Witzend Wed 06-Dec-23 09:46:07

Some years ago I had my bag snatched from the front passenger seat of the car, while I was waiting at a junction. (That certainly taught me always to use central locking!)

Many months later we came home one day to find the leather purse that had been in that bag, shoved through the letterbox. Someone who lived not a million miles away had found it while clearing undergrowth from their garden. The purse was mildewed, but my driving licence (with my address) and sundry other cards that were of no value to the thief, were still there! I hadn’t yet bothered to replace the driving licence.

The finder left a note with their address, so of course I sent a note of most sincere thanks.

eazybee Wed 06-Dec-23 10:32:15

I have been reading these posts and thinking I would hand anything similar into the Police station; it then occurred to me I have not the faintest idea where my local Police station is.
I know where the Fire Station is, and the Law Courts and the Civic Centre, but the Police?
(hope I am not tempting fate and will find out in an unpleasant way soon.)