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Unable to fall asleep and I’m so so tired

(86 Posts)
Bonnybanko Wed 06-Dec-23 00:07:20

Hi are there any people out there unable to sleep because I’m wide awake at a very late hr for me, my sleeping patern has gone all to pot on the loss of my dh🥲

Any advice would be greatly received

Celieanne86 Wed 06-Dec-23 00:46:30

I’m sorry Bonnybanko I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and give you the sleep you so desperately need but I can't do that but I can sympathise with you and totally understand how you feel for I too do not sleep not at all and when I do doze off I said I’m in a panic. I hope some of the lovely ladies reading this will come up with some suggestions other than a warm bath, hot milk, soft music and sleep balms which don’t work but which might help both of us.

crazyH Wed 06-Dec-23 00:58:48

Sorry Bonnybanko - I am still awake. I can’t sleep unless I take prescribed medication. (Since divorce 23 years ago). It used to bother me, but now I just accept it. As we get older, we don’t need that much sleep - so i tell myself. I think the more we worry about it, the worse it is.

Redhead56 Wed 06-Dec-23 01:13:33

I am awake because I am troubled with a family illness I will do what a do at these difficult times read. At present I am reading short stories for Christmas rather humorous and it gets my mind temporarily off worries. Hope you eventually settle knowing you are not alone.

Ailidh Wed 06-Dec-23 06:11:37

I began to have problems with getting to sleeep/staying asleep/getting back to sleep ten years ago, after successful cancer treatment. For years I tried all the advice on keeping the bedroom dark and silent, and it was agony. Now I stick a dvd on, very quietly, and find it much easier to drift off because I've got something else to occupy my mind.

Doodledog Wed 06-Dec-23 06:34:40

I, too, struggle with sleep sometimes. Reading doesn’t help, but I swear by sleep headphones, or I might watch something undemanding on tv until I nod off. Just beware if you do that - I once woke to shouts of ‘This is the police! You are surrounded!’ I was very disconcerted (to say the least!) but then realised that I had rolled onto the remote in my sleep grin

Do try sleep headphones though. You can play soothing sounds, music, stories, hypnosis- whatever works for you. Even if it doesn’t send you to sleep it is pleasanter to lie there relaxing than to fret about being awake.

Juliet27 Wed 06-Dec-23 06:35:22

Does magnesium help anyone…or melatonin?

Bonnybanko Wed 06-Dec-23 06:36:36

Hello everyone thank you so much for replying to my request for advice on this matter. I did fall asleep eventually and woke up quite late 8.30am I now feel as if I’ve had a good sleep and yes I no longer think I need as much sleep as I used to

Juliet27 Wed 06-Dec-23 06:39:47

😄 Doodledog My parents once woke to a policeman saying ‘there’s people in the bed here’. They’d come back early from a holiday and hadn’t let the neighbours know.

harrigran Wed 06-Dec-23 06:41:08

My sleep patterns are very erratic since DH died.
I could not lie awake in total darkness so the family gave me a star projector, I switch it on and set the timer. I lie and watch the stars and nebulae on the ceiling and feel calmer.

ronib Wed 06-Dec-23 06:42:15

Yes magnesium has helped me sleep a bit better. Also watching Ronnie O’Sullivan win the snooker on Sunday night. I found him completely relaxing to watch and slept well that evening.

Juliet27 Wed 06-Dec-23 06:44:49

I’m confused Bonnybanko, did you mean you slept until 6.30?

travelsafar Wed 06-Dec-23 08:19:10

I find listening to an audio book really helps. Something very 'gentle' not a story that is going to get you thinking too much. I usually wake up with the story nearly at the end or finished. Some of the voices who read them are very soothing.

NanKate Wed 06-Dec-23 09:54:15

No problem falling asleep but remaining asleep is another story.

I subscribe to Calm where I listen to a variety of music, stories etc.

If you have the BBC App on your iPhone you can put on the News or any programme of you choice and at the bottom of the page is the letter Z which means sleep and then a list of times. I click on 2 hours for it to switch off them. I listen through one ear piece.

I sometimes get up and make myself a tea and come back to bed to read my Kindle which you can set with a black background and white words, which my son says won’t affect my sleep.

I think we have to accept that for many of us as we age our sleep patterns change.

Georgesgran Wed 06-Dec-23 10:15:58

I’m rarely in bed before 2am. It doesn’t bother me at all as long as I get 3 or 4 hours sleep.
The only real downsides are that my energy bills are huge during the winter, as I have to override the timer and I fit yet another snack in around midnight. Through the night TV is poor - House Doctor early this morning was from 2002 and so dated.
I’ve just got used to it and agree ‘we’ need less sleep as we age.

Luckygirl3 Wed 06-Dec-23 10:34:14

I am in the same boat - certainly in the immediate period after my OH's death my mind was in turmoil and it was hard to settle.

What I find now is that, if I am not able to sleep, I bow to the inevitable and go and get myself a hot drink and read for a while.

I also use "Insight Timer" which is an app on my phone where, for free, you can listen to sleep meditations/music. That sometimes helps.

But above all it is mind over matter - I tell myself that it does not in fact matter that much - that I am resting, which is good, and that I can catch up on sleep during the day. Worrying about not being able to sleep is a sure way not to be able to sleep!

choughdancer Wed 06-Dec-23 12:01:02

Like Luckygirl3 I use the Inside Timer app sleep meditations. The ones I find most effective on there are by Jennifer Piercy. These are the closest things to magic that I can get to help me sleep!
insighttimer.com/jenniferpiercy/guided-meditations/yoga-nidra-for-sleep

Inside Timer is free and has lots of different meditations; it's worth a try.

MayBee70 Wed 06-Dec-23 12:24:11

I listen to Jason Stephenson Get Back to Sleep Fast on utube. I used to listen to Paul McKenna but that stopped working. I don’t know why Jason works for me but I’ll wake up hours later to the sound of the music playing which kicks in after his sleep talk down. He mentions mental ruminations which is what stops me sleeping: I can’t sleep once I start thinking or worrying about something.

Serendipity22 Wed 06-Dec-23 12:40:58

Could Night Nurse help at all? 💐

Primrose53 Wed 06-Dec-23 12:46:00

Tisserand aromatherapy range do some lovely pillow sprays like Total De Stress and Sleep Better. I do a couple of sprays around my bed while I am getting undressed and I am in that bed and out like a light 😴😴😴

Avon also do similar.

Cressy Wed 06-Dec-23 17:11:52

Get Sleepy on YouTube does it for me.

Bonnybanko Fri 08-Dec-23 05:04:02

Juliet27 by the time I did fall asleep I woke at 8am having had about 4 hrs sleep.which was a good sleep for me.

RosiesMaw Fri 08-Dec-23 05:59:27

But you had posted at 6.30!

Katyj Fri 08-Dec-23 06:25:45

A spray called This works works well for me there’s two different ones, one to help you fall asleep and one to keep you asleep. It’s expensive but mine lasted 6 month.

Juliet27 Fri 08-Dec-23 06:41:05

Are you in USA Bonnybanko as your timing seems different to ours in U.K. hence confusion.