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Car seats and 2yr olds

(83 Posts)
Lynnypie Mon 26-Feb-24 17:34:51

I’ve got a grandson aged 2 and a granddaughter aged 5. My grandson does NOT alone getting into his car seat and this has now become struggle as I take my granddaughter to
School and need to be on the road on time. I am getting stressed with this as he’s such a good boy but hates being in his car seat. I don’t want to use chocolate as a bribe but I’m fast running out of ideas! I have used distraction but that doesn’t work anymore…just wondering if anyone else has had this issue as I’d be eternally grateful for any ideas!!
Lynn

Lynnypie Mon 26-Feb-24 17:36:34

Lynnypie

I’ve got a grandson aged 2 and a granddaughter aged 5. My grandson does NOT alone getting into his car seat and this has now become struggle as I take my granddaughter to
School and need to be on the road on time. I am getting stressed with this as he’s such a good boy but hates being in his car seat. I don’t want to use chocolate as a bribe but I’m fast running out of ideas! I have used distraction but that doesn’t work anymore…just wondering if anyone else has had this issue as I’d be eternally grateful for any ideas!!
Lynn

silverlining48 Mon 26-Feb-24 17:58:06

Have you spoken with your grandsons parents?
You are doing them a favour and should not be getting stressed struggling to get him into the seat.

Calipso Mon 26-Feb-24 18:10:27

I'm afraid this is one of those non-negotiable situations in toddlerhood and you are the adult. Please don't resort to bribes of ANY kind as 2 year olds are excellent at spotting opportunity. Set off for school in plenty of time, take some small interesting toy or book for him to have only once he is settled in his car seat. Consider the use of an additional seat belt clip to prevent any attempts to escape from his seat while you are on the move.

keepingquiet Mon 26-Feb-24 18:45:05

You have my every sympathy- car seats are a necessary nightmare. Luckily my granddaughter just gets in. I think you've had some good tips!

Mogsmaw Mon 26-Feb-24 18:51:48

Be careful about additional clips, most are illegal for very good reasons.

M0nica Mon 26-Feb-24 19:19:58

You are the adult - and a lot bigger than him. Tell him to get into his seat and if he doesn't, put you arm round him and firmly shepherd him into the seat, offering no opportunities to break away or get difficult.

Once he gets the message that he needs to get into his seat and you will not accept any messing around or doing anything else,iy will all get easier.

sodapop Tue 27-Feb-24 08:56:02

Have you ever tried to get an unwilling toddler into a car seat MOnica it can be a nightmare scenario especially if you are time limited.
I would enlist the help of parents with this one Lynnypie and work on a solution together.

tanith Tue 27-Feb-24 09:04:53

This suggestion is only to be used as a special treat when he’s in his seat, do you have an iPad or tablet that he could watch a favourite cartoon perhaps? As I say if it’s a special treat he may be perfectly happy to get in the seat.

nanna8 Tue 27-Feb-24 09:13:15

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

Grandmabatty Tue 27-Feb-24 09:13:16

My grandson went through a phase of hating the car seat and I had to take his big brother to nursery so I sympathise. Arching his back, going limp etc. I'm afraid I used bribery in the form of chocolate buttons or a couple of crisps or a biscuit to make it a more pleasant journey for both of us. It worked and was a short term issue. Do what you need to do.

1summer Tue 27-Feb-24 09:25:34

Lynnypie you have my sympathy. My granddaughter who is 3 went through this stage a year ago. When putting her in the seat she used to go rigid and any attempt to be firm with her resulted in hysterics.
One tip that sometimes worked was saying ‘do you want Nanny to lift you in or can you climb in yourself like a big girl’ or saying before they get into the car - as soon as you are in the seat you can choose what music we play in the car.
On occasions I have stood beside the door silent, ignoring behaviour until she calmed down. Fortunately she seems to have grown out of it recently.

Calipso Tue 27-Feb-24 10:18:32

nanna8

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

I can't imagine the child's parents would be thrilled about that strategy. How do you justify rewarding undesirable behaviour with treats? Its a cop out.

M0nica Tue 27-Feb-24 10:24:13

Have I ever tried to get an unwilling toddler into a car? Oh boy, have I!

But I did what I recommended here. I was the adult. I was in charge and she got into her car seat and she stayed there. After a while she go fed up fighting the inevitable and stopped playing up.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 27-Feb-24 10:28:52

We had a reluctant car seat user, they started at around 2 years old. They also were able to undo the childproof harness.

With the permission of the parents we swopped the child seat for a booster seat (the one with a back and sides)’ had it fitted at Halfords (other retailers are available) and they assured us it was legal and safe.

The toddler loved their new seat, it had cup holders and a secret compartment for small toys, never had a problem with them getting out of it or complaining, it might be worth trying.

maddyone Tue 27-Feb-24 10:31:30

It’s a nightmare trying to get an unwilling young child into their car seat. There are some good suggestions on here, but I’d definitely speak to the parents about this. What strategies do they use to get their child into the seat, or is he playing up because it’s someone different?
Speak to the parents and work out strategies with them.

Callistemon21 Tue 27-Feb-24 11:31:02

Calipso

nanna8

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

I can't imagine the child's parents would be thrilled about that strategy. How do you justify rewarding undesirable behaviour with treats? Its a cop out.

No, the treat is only forthcoming if they climb nicely into their car seat!

MissAdventure Tue 27-Feb-24 11:41:20

Sing a song, maybe?
"If you're happy and you know it, get in your seat!!"... clap clap...

Shelflife Tue 27-Feb-24 13:37:31

Getting a reluctant 2 year old into a car seat is an absolute nightmare!! In your situation I would most definitely bribe with chocolate - why not ? If that doesn't work then you have no option but to manhandle him into his seat - if that is possible. A kicking arch backed toddler puts you in an impossible situation. Speak to his parents if they can't sort it you have no option but to tell them you simply can not take him in your car . That of course is the harsh reality , no car seat no journey. Their child their problem. It is a massive responsibility driving GC and this situation is causing you stress - I would be very stressed indeed . You can do without it! Talk to his parents - if things don't improve it is their problem not yours.

MissAdventure Tue 27-Feb-24 13:40:02

I'd bribe with A sweet, if it came to it.
Handing them out everytime a big fuss is made only makes reinforces the idea that fusses get rewards.

Calipso Tue 27-Feb-24 14:10:44

No, the treat is only forthcoming if they climb nicely into their car seat!

I'm sorry to labour the point but 2 year olds are clever and soon cotton on to the fact that if first they make a big fuss and then do what they were supposed to do in the first place, Bingo! a treat on demand.
Bonkers.

Shelflife Tue 27-Feb-24 14:21:42

Calipso, In that unbelievably difficult situation I would not give too hoots what my DDs thought if I bribed / rewarded with chocolate. They would never object me doing that , they are just grateful I am willing to take care of their children. If they did object then I would put the ball firmly in their court!!!! It is me doing them a favour - not the other way round!

Georgesgran Tue 27-Feb-24 14:27:15

My friend’s granddaughter is another who screams blue murder while being placed in her car seat. Apparently, she was screaming ‘No Daddy, please Daddy, no’ so loudly that the neighbours came out to see what was going on, They said they were on the verge of calling the Police, until they saw it was all about a car seat! The same child loves flying and is happy to buckle up for a flight - they’re off to Canada next.
I’d resort to bribery too, until it was accepted that it is what it is and everyone, ‘including the dog’ has to be fastened in.

Nell8 Tue 27-Feb-24 14:30:03

Graeme Hall, the TV dog expert, seems to get great results by reinforcing good behaviour with treats and lots of praise. The dogs soon bypass the naughty bit and behave well until it becomes a habit and treats can be phased out.

I predict trouble with 1 year old DGD who is very strong willed and sturdy like a Shetland pony. I'll invest in chocolate buttons. So, one for toddler, one for older sibling, handful for Granny's nerves.

MissAdventure Tue 27-Feb-24 14:30:37

My daughter's dog refused to be fastened in, too!
She used to bite the children, then they'd get told off for screaming.
Pandemonium.