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Widows and wedding rings

(40 Posts)
Nanamar Thu 29-Feb-24 22:39:34

Coming up on the third anniversary of DH’s death. We were married for 50 years and together since we were in our teens. I continue to wear my wedding ring (left hand as is done in US) and I wear his where it fits, on my middle finger on my right hand. I know this is a very personal decision but wondering if and when you stopped wearing your wedding ring after losing your spouse. I am 74 tomorrow and certainly NOT contemplating another relationship - ever - so no reason to appear “available!”

SeaWoozle Thu 29-Feb-24 22:49:37

It's a very personal thing, isn't it? As there is no time limit for grief, there should be no time limit for ceasing the wearing of rings, especially if there are no "significant" others on the scene. My partner lost his wife of 30 years not long before we were together (considering the time they were together, if that makes sense?!) He no longer wears his ring, but still has it. We have some of her pottery around the house but it really doesn't bother me. How can I feel threatened by someone who is no longer here? And aside from that, from talking to other people, I also know what an amazing human she was. Wear your ring as long as you feel you want to. It's nobody else's business. Hugs X

Grandma70s Thu 29-Feb-24 23:15:50

My husband died decades ago. I wore my wedding ring, with other rings, until fairly recently, when it seemed to become uncomfortable. I never considered taking it off before then.

Starof1972 Thu 29-Feb-24 23:21:24

Such a personal choice, and yours to make, so do whatever feels right for you! Happy birthday for tomorrow!

Hetty58 Fri 01-Mar-24 03:02:35

I wear both my wedding rings - simply because I can't get them off!

Allsorts Fri 01-Mar-24 03:51:43

It's a personal choice. No right or wrong.,

rosie1959 Fri 01-Mar-24 05:06:08

It is a personal choice do what is right for you. Happy birthday

notoveryet Fri 01-Mar-24 05:16:37

5 years on Sunday I lost dh, still wear my rings and can't imagine stopping but it's such an individual decision for us all

Bellasnana Fri 01-Mar-24 05:18:02

Nanamar first of all, many happy returns of the day. My DD2 turns 40 today too.🥳🎂

I was widowed eight and a half years ago and have never even thought about taking off my wedding ring (I also wear my great-grandmother’s ). It’s a personal thing isn’t it, I’m still his wife as far as I’m concerned.

Whiff Fri 01-Mar-24 05:51:07

My husband died 20 years ago last month until November I always wore it with a ring tightener as I have lost 7 st over the years and it was loose. Went out shopping and took my gloves off and no ring . I screamed and burst into tears. I had forgotten to put the ring tightener on. I take it off at bedtime . I looked everywhere and then phoned the cafe I had a drink in . They found it on the floor and because I am a regular they knew it was mine. My daughter had been on to me for a year to put it on a chain. My husband was 47 and me 45 when he died married 22 together 29. I wanted the ring left as he put it on my finger. But I brought a silver snake linked chain and wear it round my neck. I hate not wearing it but I couldn't bare to lose it.

Whiff Fri 01-Mar-24 05:52:23

Should say I am still Mrs and as far as I am concerned still married . I hate being classed as single.

notoveryet Fri 01-Mar-24 05:57:36

I am also still Mrs as far as I am concerned . Recently took up a voluntary post and requested I not be referred to as Ms. Apparently this is the default position but my records have been duly altered.

Greyduster Fri 01-Mar-24 06:21:10

I can’t get my wedding ring off if I wanted two, and I can’t ever see myself wanting to, although I am very early into this process. I’ve worn it for almost fifty eight years and it’s a part of me. I had to leave my eternity ring off for the day on Saturday and felt absolutely naked without it. But, as has been said, it’s a personal thing. A very happy birthday to you!😊

Calendargirl Fri 01-Mar-24 07:13:25

To those of you who say they can’t get any ring off, that would really worry me.

If your fingers swell and your ring is stuck, it’s a horrible experience, resulting in the said ring having to be cut off.

tanith Fri 01-Mar-24 08:12:14

I don’t wear my wedding ring now, it was difficult to get over my knuckle so I thought it best to leave it off. It’s personal choice of course.

fiorentina51 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:24:25

At the end of this month it will be 2 years since my husband's sudden and unexpected death. I still wear my wedding ring and as far as I'm concerned, I'm still his wife.
I have several friends who are widowed and some wear their rings, others don't and one or two have had their rings incorporated into other jewellery.
There's no right or wrong, do what you feel is right for you.

Cabbie21 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:38:02

I wear mine but on cold days it is a bit loose. I would hate to lose it. A few years ago it was too tight when my hand swelled up for some reason and I had to have it cut off and made bigger, something to avoid.

Iam64 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:40:02

I’m still a Ms. Rheumatoid and osteo meant I ve not been able to wear the ring I married in for years. My husband bought me a beautiful gold ring for my 50th. When my ducks neck deformity stopped me wearing that, a jeweller friend made me a silver ring I can adjust, it also disguises the mishape. I still wear it but not permanently because my hand swells at times. I wore my 3 wedding rings on a gold chain at his funeral. It’s a very personal choice e

Su22 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:43:18

I haven't worn my wedding ring for years due mostly to weight gain and I panic if I can't get it off silly I know. I have worn it on a gold chain which I never take off, when my husband died I had his wedding ring and put it on the chain my ring fits perfectly inside his wedding ring so I feel it was meant to be. It is all down to the person and what they feel happy with.

AGAA4 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:56:49

I wore my wedding ring for fifteen years after my husband died and only stopped wearing it when I almost lost it as it had become too loose.
I wore it secured by my engagement and eternity ring at my daughter's wedding as she asked me to ask 'dad' had to be there.

AGAA4 Fri 01-Mar-24 08:57:45

as not ask*

AlwaysSmiling Fri 01-Mar-24 09:02:22

I am 81 years of age and my husband of 50 years died 10 years ago. I still wear my wedding, eternity and engagement ring because in my opinion, death did not part us, I am still a married woman and detest the word widow. I loved him then and love him now and I know that one day we will be together again.

GrannySomerset Fri 01-Mar-24 09:03:22

My original wedding ring had to be cut off twice so we bought a replacement and I take it off every night but wear it every day. I will be P’s wife to my dying day.

ixion Fri 01-Mar-24 09:12:45

My dear mother made it perfectly clear that, on her death, her wedding and eternity tings were NOT be taken off.

She was buried in them.

flappergirl Fri 01-Mar-24 09:44:07

I will be eight years a widow on 5th August and I have no intention of taking my ring off, its been on my finger for 35 years. Just like the OP I have no desire to enter a new relationship.