Gransnet's virtual Christmas party - everyone's invited

Well I'm not even going to try to get to this party
Jane10; Now don't sulk! Whilst I sympathise with your recent travelling problems we need someone to lower the tone, otherwise it might become pretty dull. I'm quite sure Nan will be only too pleased to offer you a lift in her sleigh and you won't even have to worry about booze buses. Just tell me where to pick you up and GPS will sort it
Oh! As it's Winter I guess you'll be wearing something other than that little black number? Cheers

You are so right Rufus......but where can I find a sun bronzed Aussie? ?
lemongrove; I've already told you! Flee to OZ and settle in to the Sunshine coast or Gold coast. Doesn't matter which. There you'll find dozens if not hundreds of sun-bronzed Aussie 80+ OAPs Admittedly, their sun-bronzed crocodile-like skin won't turn you on, but no matter! They only got that way because of the QLD sun! With your soft English voice, alabaster skin and long blonde tresses, you'll have them eating out of your hand, whilst you transfer their bank accounts and you'll be on the plane back to Blighty before they've even woken up!
Or do you have scruples?
Btw; Please don't tell them you know someone in Melb.!

Well I'm not even going to try to get to this party. I'm only just home and drying out. I've lost my bus pass too. 2019 better be better than this!

You are so right Rufus......but where can I find a sun bronzed Aussie? ?

Are you and Rufus now an ‘item’ ? he is looking for you on another thread
Lemongrove: You're a touch jealous!? Find your own sun-bronzed Aussie in England, sorry UK; Impossible! They're all sun-baking on Bondi Beach, so you'd better do the rushing off!

DH will watch from the sidelines just happy he can put his feet up for a bit
Nan; Good! We'll also put them up in the bar during the interval!
Now! Transport is organised. I've negotiated a post-Christmas deal for a sleigh and 8 reindeer, so when you hear jingle bells out the front you'll know we've arrived to escort you and DH to the Ball ,Party. How romantic is that?
I've had the sleigh fitted out with GPS just in case the reindeer decide to wander and we get lost in those narrow country lanes of yours.
Let me know where the Party will be and time, then I can program the GPS. Awesome!
Btw; The reindeer will need a feed and parking spots whilst we're inside. Problem?

In fairness to Fred
Annie; Trade him in and get a "Freda"! We're always being told that females are best at everything: males are known to "conk" out when given impossible tasks!

Hi Rufus I don’t know which card game you are talking about
Nan: Are you sure! I must be going senile at last, but there was an account of a Man.City v United card game held on the floor and nobody allowed to "stomp" on them! Remember now? All I wanted to ask the owner was, if there are any Liverpool cards to shred them, burn them, exterminate them as a favour for City fans. Temp. here is a shade under 40C at 7.30pm, so taking a breather! Back shortly!

Oh no. I've missed the party altogether. I thought the truck I was on was heading for the Argy Bargy. I just finished off a nice bottle of Drambui that I found in the back and had a little snooze. Next thing I knew I was on a trawler in the North Sea. How the sailors laughed. I don't know what nationality they were. I didn't understand them despite their staring and pointing at me. They were very nice though and shared their Creme de Menthe with me. Or it may have been Listerine. I've not got a fancy palate.
They helpfully offloaded me with a cargo of herring. Or rather in a cargo of herring. I must say I do pong a tiny bit. I've lost my bus pass too. Will just have to walk home. 500 miles. Oh well I'll sing as I go...

That’s a relief Nan can’t have you rushing off to OZ.

Purely platonic. I have a perfectly decent DH thanks. ?

Nan......are you and Rufus now an ‘item’ ? he is looking for you on another thread.

Hi Rufus I don’t know which card game you are talking about. You must have another lady on the go?. We are fans of Brighton and Hove Albion the Seagulls. I’ve looked through and commented on literally hundreds of football cards this weekend. To think 7 years ago I didn’t know one team from another but the boys have brought me up to speed. ⚽️⚽️⚽️ They say I can be the team mascot !

Now shall we get on the dance floor and show the others how it is done ?

In fairness to Fred. On full charge he can only manage 20 miles, the bridge is over 50 miles from here , hence we had to be towed the 30 miles ?

Better luck for the New Year knees-up, though!

That's a shame, Annie. Fred sounds like no fun.

Seems a grand time was had by all, i spent the night at the Severn Bridge with Fred and his flat battery, huh.

DH will watch from the sidelines
Nan; At last; we meet again! The transport arrangements are in hand so DH can have a lift; plenty of room! You won't be doing a Cinderella dash and leaving one of your flat-soled shoes behind?
Btw; I still can't find your post about your card game featuring Man City and United
City almost ruined Christmas by losing 2-3 to Crystal Palace of all teams. Perhaps they've got their eyes too much on Europe.

I’m back Rufushave no fear. I have been busy dancing and eating with Zach 7 and Leo 5. They think I am rather a groovy Nan. They have introduced me to Ed Sherran and One direction and I have introduced them to Little Richard and Elvis. DS said he knows I’m in his house as he can hear ‘Sharp dressed man’ by ZZTop blasting out from the kitchen.

I have a knee length purple velvet dress, flat dancing shoes and a purple streak in my hair. Are you ready to Boogie ? DH will watch from the sidelines just happy he can put his feet up for a bit.

sure I will liven up when my dance partner Rufus turns up to do his stuff
Nan; I've been looking everywhere for you. Now I'm not sure which Party you've got tickets for; Christmas is almost gone, so perhaps we'll go to the virtual New Year's one instead, if that's OK with you? Your purple velvet dress ( is it a floor length gown, or a just above the knees job)? If it's the former, you won't be up for the Boogie Woogie, unless you bring a change of kit in a hold-all. But be warned that OH&S have placed a 50kg safety limit on me twirling anyone around my shoulders, although I'm sure you'll pass that test with flying colours.
So long as you don't turn up like some of my partners of days gone by, looking like a grounded hot-air balloon! I'm quite sure you'll "Wow" them all as "Belle of the Ball Party. but nobody will be looking at me in my Michael Portillo look-alike outfit of claret bow tie, lime-green shirt, fluoro yellow jacket and hot-pink slacks. Oh! and my blue suede shoes! Just as well perhaps otherwise I might be mistaken for one of "them" You say you've got a leave pass from DH; has it got a use-by date and will he be OK if I bring you home late, after midnight, say!?
I'd hate to be the "meat in the sandwich" in a stoush between a lovely lady and a jealous DH
Some of the others are travelling by bus, which is rather "working class", but you deserve something much better. Discuss that later!

I heard someone mention something about a strange man picking it up and muttering something about marrying the ^person it fitted
!974Cookie; It wasn't me! Honest! I wasn't even there, where ever it was and Nan will give me a solid alibi!
Perhaps it might fit one of your 2 ugly sisters and let you off the hook? Or would you prefer to marry this strange man! No accounting for taste! Cheers

Here I am back as promised to see if there is any washing up to do. DH washed up earlier, bless him, and there is hardly anything in the dishwasher so I'll gather up some glasses, when I've finished the Bristol Cream and that will make a decent load. We haven't touched the Christmas Bake so if anyone would like a slice help yourselves. It has got brandy in it.

Bopping's been going on for hours, Doodle, but we're not stopping now. Whooo-oo

Oh no Anniebach a flat battery yikes...

Am I too late to join the party? On third small glass of port, watching Law and Order SVU..

Sorry I'm late. The best parties don't get going till midnight so I've just made it in time. Come on you lot wake up. Let's get some music in. What do you mean your feet hurt. Get up and bopping yeee haa ???????????