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Very needy 'needy' neighbours!

(106 Posts)
H1954 Fri 03-Apr-20 16:56:11

Very difficult times for all of us as I'm sure you will agree. Many people have reasons for not venturing out at all and those that do no doubt only go for the necessities, exercise and dog walking.

Myself and OH are in the lower end of the vulnerable category and being very careful of our welfare. However, we have a neighbour who seems to think that he's the only person who can't go out. Because he can't actually see what might be medically wrong with people he thinks they're all fit and healthy and should be dancing to his tune all the time!

He has the same attitude with all the neighbour hereabouts.
It's not just Coronavirus either that makes him think this way, he's like it ALL the time! And it's draining!

Has anyone else witnessed this attitude?

Lollin Fri 03-Apr-20 19:21:13

Not me but a friend had this same type of neighbour. Very difficult to cope with.

EllanVannin Fri 03-Apr-20 19:57:14

Yes. There's one along from me but it's a " she ", who thinks everyone should dance attention on her and has complained bitterly that nobody's brought her a free hamper of food ! Has complained to every supermarket because they can't deliver " now ".

She isn't poor for a start and has got family that could do her shopping but she's even fallen out with them because of her attitude. Nobody speaks to her---is it any wonder ?

growstuff Fri 03-Apr-20 20:10:01

I belong to a local Facebook support group and I've witnessed that attitude from a handful of people. It's really regrettable because there are others who are reluctant to ask for help, when they really need it. I've seen people moaning that they haven't receive the free "survival* box too. Having seen the contents of them, people would find it quite difficult to live from them if they didn't have other food in store. It just seems that some people want something for nothing.

NemosMum Sat 04-Apr-20 10:54:25

Don't put yourself at risk for his sake. Your local authority will have a number to ring for people who need provisions and medication or other help. Give him the number.

Craftycat Sat 04-Apr-20 11:00:34

Although my next door neighbour is best avoided at all costs we have a lovely community here & those of us who can still go out look after the older ones who can't.
I think it is because it is a cul-de-sac so we are going up & down all the time.
Next door is just one of those nosy people who never has a good word to say about anybody , gossips about everyone but goes on all the time about how she never misses going to Church on a Sunday. Luckily we have very high hedges between us & I move quicker than her if I see her coming!!

Karen27 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:03:27

I feel very let down with my neighbours 80% of them didn’t think it was worth while clapping on either Thursday and I have 2 young couples with cars go out every day and have parents visit that have so far had 2 Tesco home delivery’s and one Morrison’s
I was on an Asda home
delivery site at 7 20 and was customer no 5024!!! I will struggle to inter act with them at the end of this

polnan Sat 04-Apr-20 11:04:27

oh,, can I say,,,, I wish my neighbours were... neighbourly?

Live in a smallish close... only one neighbour said to me that to leave a note for him if I needed anything..

another neighbour, more disabled than me,, I contacted her. and we mail and she phones,, occasionally, not complaining of that.. just saying..

I think there are 50 houses in our close, that drifts off to the left then to the right..

and can I say, not complaining in any way, just saying, in sort of response to this thread

the immediate neighbours know my husband died in November.. I am obviously elderly, but able to get the allotted one walkies a day...

but not neighbourly as I was brought up in Brum....
but then life has changed so much

I am just saying.. that oh, how lovely to "know" your neighbours! lol aren`t we humans a funny lot then.

aggie Sat 04-Apr-20 11:05:52

Then there is the one who has a list as long as your arm with queries , like , what kind of lettuce? Only get me ... what kind of apples ? I only eat .... how green are the bananas ?
By the time I listen to her moan all goodwill has flown

GoldenAge Sat 04-Apr-20 11:06:31

This is no time for anybody to pussyfoot around others - everybody has to take care of him/herself whilst doing what might possible for others. You don't say what the lower end of vulnerable is but frankly you can choose to completely self-isolate even if you don't fall into any such category, in the interests of saving the nation. So please don't waste your energy on irritation about your neighbour, be absolutely upfront and say that you are only going out for your own shopping where absolutely necessary and that he should plug into one of the very many schemes that are operating with far more resources than you have. Those schemes are there to protect you too.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:07:34

Yes, there’s a lot of these type of people about.

Alexa Sat 04-Apr-20 11:12:07

Ignorant people are always going to be fellow travellers on life's road. Nobody can live their lives for them.

Alexa Sat 04-Apr-20 11:16:19

My sons have offered to shop for me and I gratefully accepted. However they try to food shop once a week. I am concerned the supermarket will limit the purchases an individual is allowed.

Would it be better to ask a charitable scheme to shop for me?

Alexa Sat 04-Apr-20 11:20:20

PS The moaners that posters have mentioned may be elderly. Old people ( and even some younger ones)sometimes find it hard to take in new ideas, and many old people don't understand properly what is going on in the big world.

glammanana Sat 04-Apr-20 11:22:23

EllanVallin How strange when I read the OPs thread the same person to came to mind,if she had been nicer in her attitude I would have arranged deliveries for her but she takes more than advantage and I am the most giving person as you know,she has loads of family who don't want to know I wonder why.See you soon x

sazz1 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:26:09

What concerns me more is people putting on a Facebook local forum about their neighbours going out too much having visitors etc. Then people telling them who to ring to report these people.
Admin took the last post down tg as whether or not you beleive in reporting others you don't name them and the road on a Facebook page. Do people not realise there could be repercussions from this?
Neighbours from hell could develop or worse.
Personally we just keep myself and OH to ourselves. We are staying in as much as possible and keeping ourselves and others safe.

Jane10 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:29:08

I was doing shopping for an elderly nieghbour but have thankfully handed the responsibility to another younger nieghbour. The person concerned was extremely fussy and didn't seem to understand that all her favourite brands were not necessarily available!

Nannan2 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:32:52

Polnan,is "just saying" a 'brum' phrase then?smile

Nannan2 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:42:46

Yes,seemingly,its best to just not bother with neighbours at this time unless you were already 'proper' friends in the first place! Just pop the number on paper(with washed hands!) and put through letterbox,of where they can call for the help to get provisions/ medications supplied.Then leave them to it.i know they keep saying 'to help others' but for those who dont even appreciate it this may be best- especially if your struggling yourself a bit too.

Tapdance6 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:46:30

We are very lucky that my daughter does our shopping daily. She is still working and they have a disabled son. She has been a godsend as we are both in the vulnerable bracket and have self isolated. ( been in for the last two weeks) as all our children have told us not to go out. The other three children also phone to se if we need any shopping but it is easier if only one does it. Everyone in our neighborhood was out clapping for all the emergency services and the people who are keeping our shops going. Without them all where would we be. Everyone has there part to play in this crisis.

Nannan2 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:46:42

They already are limiting purchases Alexa,so i really dont know what happens if you shop for others at same time- shops havent given guidance on this? I know Lidl have recently lifted ban on amounts(except loo rolls!) But that was about 10 days ago,so could change regularly?

May7 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:47:41

It's a funny old world though isnt it.
Some good others not so Some grateful others needy. I could go on but wont. my MiL was like this only willow butter will do dear she not here now and I chuckle when I think of her. You have to do what you think is right. You can only own your own shame . Very profound from me on a Saturday morning. I'm usually up cooking a full English but I've got no bacon left. BTW only Irish back bacon will do (that's from her son)

Nannan2 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:49:37

If your daughter has a disabled son to 'safegaurd' and herself too,as his carer,do you really need shopping 'daily' Tapdance6???its this attitude thats still putting everyone at risk!

Chewbacca Sat 04-Apr-20 11:52:17

sazzl, that's exactly what's happening on our local Facebook group as well. The number of reports by curtain twitchers increases by the day; how many were walking in a group, were they family from the same house? Where were they walking from/to? Who was it that was seen riding a bicycle at 11 o'clock at night? On their own. Last night, someone actually complained about one single solitatory firework that was let off at 7 o'clock to celebrate a child's birthday. They're like vigilantes.

notanan2 Sat 04-Apr-20 11:57:52

Yes but a family member. They have all kinds of well meaning people running around after them. They are demanding priority from everyone (phone banking, deliveries etc) and are hamming up their "vulnerabililty" (they are in the vulnerable catagory but by no means the higher end of the spectrum, but are implying to everyone that they are extremely old/vulnerable/sick when actually they are very independant, only just over the age cut off, and their few medical issues are not on the CV high risk list.

I think they are actually enjoying all of this confused

They are taking up resources and time from people who are seriously vulnerable right now