Gransnet forums


Paid nannies OK to look after a child in thir own home real nannies are not!

(62 Posts)
twinprimes Mon 11-May-20 22:54:35

See page 30 of the gov guidance under the subheading 'schools'.

MawB Mon 11-May-20 23:01:40

Most Nannies (of the nursery variety) are young women or men and one would expect them to be fit and enjoy good health. What you call “real nannies” and I call Grandparents (grandmothers and grandfathers) are usually by definition probably at least 20 + years older than the parents of their grandchildren. Many will be in their 50’s, 60’s or 70’s and we all know by now that the older the patient, the less likely they are to recover from Covid19.
Does that answer your question?

Callistemon Mon 11-May-20 23:13:36

DGS's nanny lived in as did my niece's nanny for her children.
They were real nannies.

If by real nannies you mean trained ones, whether Norland or otherwise.

welbeck Tue 12-May-20 00:47:57

i think sometimes people are taking offence as a kind of defence mechanism to facing the reality of frailty of age.
the fact is, regardless of how fit, active, otherwise healthy, the older one is, the more deleted one's immune system.
therefore the risk of getting the virus, and of being very severely affected by it, increases with age.
some younger people have succumbed, unfortunately.
but the vast majority of the 30K+ fatalities were aged over 50.

welbeck Tue 12-May-20 00:50:37

depleted immune system.
cannot be replaced. it's running out...
why expose it to so deadly a risk, an invisible foe.

Hithere Tue 12-May-20 03:24:03

I can see how some grandparents can be jealous in this situation.

Independently from the current pandemic, comparing childcare by hired professionals and grandparent care is like comparing apples and oranges

Daycare providers/nannies are paid employees with usually CPR training childcare education and/or degrees and they curriculum for the kids to play and learn.

Childcare workers are usually younger than grandparents, putting them at a lower risk of covid.

They also follow rules imposed by the organization they work for and/or the government for a minimum standard of care.

Grandparent care is a totally different animal.
Yes, they are family, they love the child and the child loves them.
That is where it pretty much stops.
The grandparents may not be up to date in safety and childcare methodologies, for example.
It is family taking care of family. Period

It can be "what happens at grandma's stays at grandmas"
It can be "I spoil my grandkids"
It can be "it is ok to give candy even if parents asked me not to"

Professional childcare and relatives providing childcare- totally different animals.

Now, I am ready to be crucified by my writing such a "vitriolic" post

vegansrock Tue 12-May-20 06:12:33

I have suggested to my DD ( in jest) that she could employ me as their nanny or cleaner, then I’d be allowed in their house.
Not all nannies or cleaners are young. I have a friend who is in her 50s and works as a day nanny to a journalist and barrister. They are both at home at the moment, but no doubt will be wanting her back soon. She is not looking forward to it.

Grandma70s Tue 12-May-20 06:21:35

The use of the word nanny to mean grandmother is very confusing. I didn’t hear it until I was in my thirties, and it still confuses me. I couldn’t think what on earth the title of this thread meant at first, until MawB’s elucidation.

MawB Tue 12-May-20 07:45:54

vegansrock - in their 50's IS young! grin

vegansrock Tue 12-May-20 07:50:31

MawB but she is old enough to be the children’s grandmother and is being allowed to care for two little ones, whereas if she were their real grandmother she would supposedly be a risk.

sodapop Tue 12-May-20 08:39:04

Professional Nannies would be a better description rather than real Nannies.

I don't see your post being a problem Hithere all your points are perfectly valid as I see it.

MawB Tue 12-May-20 09:25:57

As you say - as I said many are in their ^50’s, 60’s and 70’s

I also think a professionally trained nanny might be better able under the circumstances to resist the hugs and cuddles that so many here seem to be unable to do without.
Professional distance?

Grandmajayne Tue 12-May-20 09:29:12

Can I ask advice please my daughter is 5 months pregnant and has a 2 year old and a 8 month old baby. Her partner is going back to work this week and I was wondering would it be safe for her and the children to move in with me. We have both followed all the rules and not been in contact with anyone else. I feel she needs emotional support as well as physical support. What are people's thoughts?

SirChenjin Tue 12-May-20 09:29:44

Those nannies (and grandads) in their 50s and 60s are still at work, surely? If it’s too risky for them to look after their DGC does that mean it’s too risky for them to work outside the home?

Callistemon Tue 12-May-20 09:34:57

It was the title of the thread which was questionable - hence my post.
A nanny is a trained professional.
A grandmother is a relative, not always elderly, as has been pointed out most firmly on GN.

gillybob Tue 12-May-20 09:39:48

So what if you were a 50 something paid nanny? Could my DD slip me a few £ and I will be a piano nanny? hmm

gillybob Tue 12-May-20 09:40:47

A piano nanny .....well that’s a whole other profession . grin

Meant “paid” of course .

vegansrock Tue 12-May-20 09:49:24

I don't think a professional nanny would be less likely to have physical contact with a baby/ toddler than a grandmother, they have to change nappies/ feed/ dress etc just same.

Urmstongran Tue 12-May-20 10:13:46

Well I’m with Maw and HiThere on this topic.
I’m 65y and more than happy that our 3y old granddaughter will be back to her professional childminder (who is around 45y) when the time comes in a few weeks.

I’m a grandmother. Not a surrogate mum. I never wanted to be factored in for childcare. That’s not my role although I love her to bits!

Calendargirl Tue 12-May-20 10:17:32


If they all moved in with you, then your daughter’s partner would not be able to visit his children I would have thought.

Callistemon Tue 12-May-20 10:21:34

Can you teach up to Grade 5 gillybob?
We need a piano nanny (for me)
I may not practice my scales though.

Anannymous Tue 12-May-20 10:24:23

Some grandparents are teachers and they are being asked to work to look after other people’s grandchildren but cannot see their own.

pollyperkins Tue 12-May-20 10:25:37

I agree with Urmstongran and Hithere.
Im very pleased that my toddler grandchild has Paid professional childcare. She loves her carer and there's no way that I (mid 70s) would want to look after her every day in a London flat especially at the moment, though I miss her of course and would love a cuddle.

trisher Tue 12-May-20 10:26:46

Grandmajayne that depends on how old you are if you have any health issues or any other factors which might make you high risk. If you are under 65 and fit it might be OK for them all to move in with you even if the partner is still working. Although I would think as your DD and baby need shielding as well he should take great care.
Can't see there is any conflict between a professional nanny and a gran. If you really want to care full time for your GCs you could always ask for payment grin

Witzend Tue 12-May-20 10:42:13

I need a piano nanny too - someone to tell me to get off GN, put that book/knitting down and practise for half an hour, or no chocolate!
(Dh and I getting very piggily addicted to Fruit and Nut lately.)