Would you go? think I know the answer sadly

You can stay overnight with one household so if you have kept the rules so far you could stay at your sisters . It sounds as if the venue is doing all the social distancing and if put managed to stay outside you would be even safer. I would risk going myself .

You not put sorry

No I wouldn't but I know I'm on the cautious end of the spectrum. I only did the social distance in the garden once and two days later the visitor tested positive for Covid.

It seems that they've done everything possible to remain as safe as possible so it's really weighing the risk that still exists against how much you feel in need of that human connection.

We're all different in that regard.
Tough call.

Covid is not going away. We have to make decisions about balancing risks and life, not everyone dies of the virus but.....
I would go!

Personally as you have been so careful up to now I would not take the risk if I where you,I would save the visit until things are back to normal and you feel safe yourself,the babies won't know if you are there or not will they,you could spend quality time with them later in the year surely.

Much as the temptation is there if it were me I wouldn't be going but that's because I know myself when it comes to greeting people especially children.
It definitely wouldn't feel normal if you couldn't hug anyone especially travelling that far, so that aspect for me personally would be as bad as not going at all.

I agree with Midgey - I would go and observe all precautionary advice.

I would go too. We have to start living some kind of normality at some point and it sounds as though your nephew has done as much as possible to minimise the risks.

I would go and just be as careful as I can whilst there. Like you, I'm in my 60s with some health issues and have also just started going out to local supermarket, post office etc. The infection rate in London is quite low at present. I feel we have to start getting back to normal and interacting with people sensibly as who knows how long this situation will go on.

You are using the word - we ...what is your partners take on this?

I would go, too.
Just be one step ahead of any likely major distancing issues.

It is very hard isn't it although we, like you, are really in luxury. We have plenty of food, a lovely garden, we speak to all our DC and DGC on whatsapp almost daily so nothing to grumble about.
But it is still easy to imagine we are missing out and a family occasion like this will be a sacrifice BUT remember what someone said early in lockdown:

When you think of how much you are missing now, remember it means that when you all meet again - no-one is missing.

Then again, what are we saving ourselves for if not for our families and this is a rare opportunity to meet up.

We haven't seen Our DS and DGC in NZ for 2 years and it will be another year at least. Our DGC in England not seen since last year.

I don't envy your dilemma seacliff

I expect we will all be facing these ‘shall I shalln’t I dilemmas for a while now and for lots of people the decision won’t be easy.

You will get varying opinions on here which will probably make the decision even more difficult for you!

In your situation I would go observing distancing rules but it depends on how relaxed you think you might be when you are there.

It does sound a lovely occasion but if you think you might spend the time feeling quite anxious then you won’t really enjoy yourself will you?

I think we all have to remember that this virus is not going away any time soon! There is no guarantee that there will be a vaccine and we are going to have to live with it like we do with the flu. Life will not return to normal as we lived before for a long time if at all. Maybe the best we can hope for is effective treatment of Covid 19.

So, unless you plan to live like a hermit for ever, you have to weigh up the risks and start engaging with life again. If everyone chooses to isolate themselves then just imagine what would happen - no one working, no income, no shops, chaos! We can only shield if other people are prepared to take risks.

I know those who shield are more vulnerable to catching the virus and being very ill or worse but most of us in that group are lucky that we can afford to live in such a way because we have a pension.

It will soon be time to start emerging from our houses and venture out after weighing up the risks and taking precautions. OK, wait a few more weeks to see if there is a second wave but at some point we will have to adjust to the changes to our lives.

I know a lot of you will disagree with me but I am beginning to feel guilty and a bit selfish about the impact of continuing to isolate myself even though it's going to be hard to start going out again.

focused1 My OH never comes when I visit family, he is a bit of a recluse anyway. It suits us both for me to go alone. I can enjoy myself without worrying about him. (he does join in when they come to us though). He will not be at all happy at me going, thinks it is an unnecessary risk. (he is not a great one for family so doesn't understand).

Thanks for all your varied responses, really helpful. It is right that we have to learn to live with this risk from now on, not lock ourselves away forever. I have thought of a possible alternative option, which I will need to ask them about. I will miss the big party, but am not too bothered about that.

I will ask if I can go up and stay another weekend, and have a family get together, either in their garden (has a covered area) or a picnic in a big open space. All weather dependent of course. Just sister, niece and nephew with partners and 3 little children. I can give the children their presents then.

I still feel apprehensive abut it all, but the alternative is, never seeing them again. Because I don't think a viable vaccine will be available for at least another year, probably longer.

Sounds like a good idea. I sure you'll enjoy that more anyway?

I'd say go, enjoy yourself. See the family, stay overnight. If everyone is safe distancing and you're all washing your hands, I can't see that it'd be a problem.

I think your alternative sounds like a wonderful idea and one you can manage yourself safely. Hope it goes well for you.

I would go. But if you do not feel comfortable with that - then do not go. It really must be the best decision for you to make.

I think you would enjoy your second option more as there won't be as many people and you can be outside, which is safer.

It sounds as though you are not entirely comfortable with your first option so may not enjoy it as much.

I would go, you sound very sensible I cant see you sitting at a crowded table or hugging everyone. Theres no timelimt to be there pop in for an hour or 2 then go and relax in a change of senory.

The second option sounds the least stressful and also carried less risk seacliff. Why not chat with them and gauge their response? We find the younger ones are sometimes more concerned for our wellbeing than we are ourselves so there may be some relief from them.

That you are posting on here suggests you are worried about going, so maybe the second option might be better.

consider how your OH feels about it, as he is the one who will be most affected if you get ill or very ill...
and his fear as to whether you might be infected, that all ought to be taken into account.
if you were single it would be different.
but if we take on someone, then they must come first.
it's not just because he is a recluse, and doesn't care about family, that's an excuse, minimising his concerns. it's because he cares about you, wants to on go having you beside him.
which is quite reasonable, that's why people get together.
maybe he feels sad that you seem to mean more to him than he does to you.