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Facing a new lockdown, extend the bubble to two adult families?

(81 Posts)
Nonnapg Sat 19-Sep-20 08:52:34

As we face new restrictions in the next few weeks, how do people feel about family bubbles? At present, only two families where one of those is a single adult family, can form a support bubble, e.g. a single parent can bubble with his/her own parents or a single grandparent can bubble with his/her adult child and their family.

I would like to see the support bubble extended to couples, e.g an adult child, his/her partner and children could form a bubble with one set of grandparents. I appreciate this could mean difficult choices for many families but I also believe couples need support too if we are to get through this whole thing with our mental health intact.

Please be kind and considerate in your posts, I am not making a political point here, I just want to know if I am in a minority, feeling pleased for my friends who could see their grandchildren in lockdown, but feeling very down about the prospect of weeks or months of not seeing mine!

Lucca Sat 19-Sep-20 09:06:04

You have a point but then people would want to extend that to both sets of GPs and so it goes on!

GrannyGravy13 Sat 19-Sep-20 09:11:51

Whatever rules are in place somebody will want something more/different.

Alegrias Sat 19-Sep-20 09:12:06

I like your idea Nonnapg. I have elderly parents who live quite far away, and if further restrictions come in this would allow me to see them indoors over the winter months. So me and my DH, and my parents, would be one bubble. No grandchildren to worry about for me.

Septimia Sat 19-Sep-20 09:29:55

Our family are 5 hours drive away. DiL's family are nearer and they would - sensibly - want to 'bubble' with them. No point us trying to form a bubble. And all friends nearby have their own families to bubble with.

So it's easier for us to just to get on with what we can keep in touch through the ether and meet up whenever it's possible.

When we were younger, my parents lived next door (I know families now in the same situation) and we virtually lived between the two houses. So is that one household or two? Thankfully, I don't have to worry about it.

However, there will always be anomalies in situations like this - including the fact that we're in a no-mixing area but there are virtually no cases here.

Curlywhirly Sat 19-Sep-20 09:32:43

Well, considering people can still go to work, eat in restaurants and drink in pubs, it can't be more dangerous going to see your Mum and Dad with your partner in their house or garden (as long as social distances are observed). However, I think the reasoning is that families will be lax about being socially distant with each other. So presume the answer is to meet in a pub and sit at adjacent tables!

Kate1949 Sat 19-Sep-20 10:02:34

Well if it goes the way they have extended it here in Birmingham, no one will be mixing with anyone. We can't go to our families houses or gardens and they can't come to us. We just have to accept it.

MiniMoon Sat 19-Sep-20 10:03:51

We broke all the rules yesterday. DSiL's car is off the road temporarily, so I took DD and DGD in mine to the nearest large town so that DGD, who is asthmatic, could get her flu jab. The lady in the pharmacy advised that she should have it, and hang the rules because it's important.
We are in the North East where local restrictions have been tightened.
It is going to be hard on grandparents who cannot visit grandchildren again. We are lucky that ours live five minutes up the road, and we can wave at them and have a little chat from their garden gate.

Nonnapg Sat 19-Sep-20 12:50:20

Thank you for your thoughts, I do feel for those of you who are already under stricter restrictions. I suppose I feel that if support bubbles were allowed nationwide, either with a part of your family or a family you are close to, people would have a support group to turn to. It would also mean less contacts made than under the “rule of six”, where you could see any number of people across 24hours, as long as your group was no bigger than six people!

It would also mean that where grandparents help out with childcare, that could remain in place, at least within the bubble you were part of, making it easier for parents to work.

MiniMoon Sat 19-Sep-20 13:53:14

Going off topic slightly, but I'd welcome any thoughts on home schoolers and socialising.
My DD home schools her four children who all have autism and ADHD. They have made friends with other home schooled children in the area. I was surprised how many people teach their children at home!
The Government reopened the schools because of worries about children's mental health, and social skills, so where does that leave home schooled children?
The rules of 6 means that if both parents take the four children out to exercise to the park, they cannot meet any of their friends.
They have been totally overlooked.
My DD rang the LEA, and no-one there could answer her questions, the first person passed her call on to her manager and she couldn't help either, saying that the Government hadn't given them any guidelines about home educators.
She then rang the police to ask if they would be fined for meeting up with friends, after explaining her situation.
The answer she got there was that it is officer discretion! She doesn't want to risk it.
She was left feeling angry, and scratching her head. Nobody has thought about home schoolers and the problems they are facing with socialisation.
The children were just beginning to see their friends again, and this local lockdown is really confusing them.
What is to be done?

Illte Sat 19-Sep-20 14:02:19

I guess they could divide into two groups of six, each with an adult.

Blinko Sat 19-Sep-20 14:05:18

The Scottish version makes more sense to me - six people not including children under, say, 12.

lonelygirl Sat 19-Sep-20 14:14:58

Im in North Lanarkshire Glasgow and right now for the past two weeks we are not supposed to be in anyones home or they come to ours. Nicola Sturgeon is being very strict. And is now saying things may be getting worse Poor Torture again

CrazyGrandma2 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:17:44

I suspect that before too long it will be a moot point as we will not be allowed to mix with anyone outside our own household. Nearly 6 months on and it seems like we are going back to square one!

Gingergirl Sun 20-Sep-20 09:20:26

Sadly I don’t think we’re in that position yet. But I do know that some people have decided that’s how they’ll live anyway. I think it goes against government advice and isn’t in the spirit of keeping a distance which is what’s needed to stop the virus circulating. We are seeing family today and travelling around so that we aren’t more than six at any time. We have barely touched our grandchildren since before lockdown and it’s a heartache and they are too young to understand. Families together is different to pubs etc because it isn’t controlled and so people can get too up close and personal. I think it will be next year before any of that changes.😕

Nana3 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:30:33

You might find you are in an exception situation if your elderly parents are vulnerable. You can check on government web site.
Best wishes.
I also agree with op, one bubble for a couple with another couple and their children would help many families feel better in such difficult times.

ExD Sun 20-Sep-20 09:36:08

Gingergirl is right, its the spirit of the 'rule' that counts, not the minutae of the detail. These rules are brought it quickly, without an in depth debate to thrash out every little possibility and all this nit-picking over individual circumstances is childish and unproductive.
The fact remains that if people insist on mixing willy-nilly the virus will continue to have the upper hand, no matter how much we hate it.
Shame it affects the rest of us.

Rosalyn69 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:39:35

My son and DIL live next door so our bubble is easy but it does seem that people always want more than they can have. Isn’t it better that we all try and stay safe and keep our families safe rather than moan that our bubble isn’t big enough?
Let’s get on with our lives the best we can and stop moaning.

Tweedle24 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:39:56

I think the single person being allowed to bubble was a kindness, as they saw no-one during the lock-down.

My daughter and son-in-law have been to see me twice since bubbling was allowed but, we are fully expecting another lock -down at some point so this will be forbidden again.

I just feel it is a matter of ‘drawing the line’ somewhere and, wherever it is drawn, some will be disadvantaged,

It is a balance to be found between the country becoming bankrupt and the virus 🦠 running amok — very much a case of ‘suck it and see’.

trisher Sun 20-Sep-20 09:42:18

I'm in the NE and in lockdown again. I know that there have to be rules but it really is extraordinary that I could go to the pub with group of friends (but will be thrown out at 10) but can't see my family in my house, even though they are all still working from home, so fairly isolated themselves, and the biggest risk are my DGCs who are in school.
Minimoon I would imagine that if it was said to be an educational meet-up there could be little objection and certainly no real legal basis for one. After all children in schools are in bubbles of 100+ so a bubble of home educators should be acceptable.

Dunne18 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:48:24

My confusion With the bubble is now that the schools are back, my 2 grandchildren are mixing with unknown numbers of children, isn’t there a great risk that they could pass something to me and my partner?

Nanny9 Sun 20-Sep-20 09:51:48

Our daughter need us to pick her children up from school and have them for a couple of hours they are key workers ( she work for NHS her husband in the food industry). We are told schools are to remain open they have not got the capacity to look after every working parents child till they finish their shifts - and people need to go to work for the economy - we are not vulnerable or in the older grandparent bracket So we look forward to trying to work thus one out - when not if it comes into force !

Alegrias Sun 20-Sep-20 09:59:12

Thank you Nana3, I will look into that.

You are so right about drawing the line Tweedle24. Wherever the line is drawn there will be someone just outside it, but we have to have a line somewhere.

Hickman36 Sun 20-Sep-20 10:04:41

Social bubbles are good for single parent or grandparent but for those grandparents and parents in couples it is not allowed therefore there is no help with childcare so people cant work as they cant afford childcare therefore how sre they supposed to pay bills. This has not been looked at properly. Maybe being singke us tge way forward very sad.

Mollygo Sun 20-Sep-20 10:08:38

Not quite sure how this works for GP on child care. I understand it means No, but then my DD or SIL would have to be off work again. Also there’s the question of what the DGC might bring home to us.