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What do you do if your family goes down with COVID

(71 Posts)
Tonucha Thu 21-Jan-21 10:42:28

If you have an only son, his wife has no family in this country, they have a 1 year old, and they are all struck down with Covid, do you respect the rules or, knowing that you will undoubtedly catch it, step in and support them while they recover? (this is not a hypothetical question)

FannyCornforth Thu 21-Jan-21 10:45:37

I'm pretty sure that you can help them.
It's for care and medical reasons.
Yes, you are allowed to travel and help them.

FannyCornforth Thu 21-Jan-21 10:46:38

Sorry, posted too soon.

maddyone Thu 21-Jan-21 10:47:08

You respect the rules.
When I was hospitalised with Covid, my son in law contracted Covid through his work as a doctor at the Covid Hub. He passed it to our daughter and one of his twins. All the family left them alone, except my husband took their dog. They were left to get on with it, both ill and three little children to care for. I’m afraid that’s the way it goes.

FannyCornforth Thu 21-Jan-21 10:47:57

The question is - how I'll are they?
Can they manage their own and the baby's basic needs?

Peasblossom Thu 21-Jan-21 10:48:35

If they are so ill that they need to be in hospital you may need to care for the baby. But if they can manage, taking turns, stay clear.

Support at a distance with shopping and meals. It’s a natural urge to help out, but another older person with COVID isn’t helping anyone.

They will probably be well in a few days. You could end up in hospital.

maddyone Thu 21-Jan-21 11:07:06

If your son and daughter in law are hospitalised then you take the baby. Otherwise you leave them alone.

Riverwalk Thu 21-Jan-21 11:09:35

Tonucha as has been said, it depends on how ill they are and whether they can safely care for the baby - if the child's welfare is at risk somebody has to care for it.

There was a similar query recently but the parents were in the end able to care for their child, so the grandmother didn't have to step in.

maddyone I'm sorry your family have been so stricken - hope you're all recovering.

MissAdventure Thu 21-Jan-21 11:12:11

I would keep in very close touch by phone, and if both adults were too ill to cope (I mean really very poorly) then I would go and help.

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 21-Jan-21 11:12:30

You can support them by taking shopping round ( you can organise deliveries to go straight to them ) and meals and leaving them on the doorstep.

NotSpaghetti Thu 21-Jan-21 11:14:43

Cook for them and drop it off, pick up bin liners of pre-sorted laundry and very carefully launder the contaminated clothes. Order food delivery if they are too feeble. Just don't get it yourself.

They will cope if not in need of hospital. If they have to both gonto hospital, take the baby.

I hope they recover soon.


ExD Thu 21-Jan-21 11:16:51

Yes I agree with whats been said. It'd be ok to get their shopping, or leave treats and easy meals like cottage pie or cakes on the doorstep. Otherwise keep in contact by phone or email, unless the baby needs caring for. But do bear in mind if you need to take the baby it could well infect you even if it has no symptoms.
(I hate calling it IT) smile Good wishes to your family.

biba70 Thu 21-Jan-21 11:19:43

Unless they are very sick- then you can help without putting yourself at risk- so many good suggestions here so won't repeat.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 21-Jan-21 11:24:39

Phone and ask them if they want you to come and collect the baby so you can look after him/her at yours.

If you are willing to risk the infection yourself, go and look after them all, but observe all self-isolating rules while there and for at least a fortnight when you get home.

maddyone Thu 21-Jan-21 11:27:07

Thank you Riverwalk
It’s been a difficult time for us, but unfortunately you just have to get on with it. My husband got Covid from my elderly mother, who picked it up in hospital, after a fall. She passed it to him, because he popped round to move some furniture for her so she can use her new Walker, and then he brought it it home to me. Obviously we didn’t know mum was discharged with Covid, we were told she tested negative. Mum and my husband were very mildly ill, but I was hospitalised for twelve days. I was really poorly. Then my worst fear happened and my daughter and husband both got Covid. It was my worst fear because they’re both doctors and I knew there was a high risk. However they both recovered quite quickly, my daughter, like her dad in a couple of days, and son in law about a week.
I’m not unsympathetic to the OP. It’s just that we all have to accept we can’t behave like we did before Covid. A very poorly older person with Covid is not what she, or the country needs right now. Unless the baby is unsafe, everything should be left as it is. Obviously food can be delivered to the front door, and that’s it. No other contact.

arosebyanyothername Thu 21-Jan-21 11:41:44

Our son in law is currently living with and looking after his mum & younger brother who have Covid, his mum also has cancer. He’s taken time off work and gone to live with them to help. His 2 older sisters have been helping by cooking meals and shopping.
I wouldn’t expect my DD to put herself at risk to look after us but every family is different.
Can they cope at the moment or asked you to help in some way? If not keep in touch and stick to leaving them meals and taking shopping round for now. Hope they are better soon 💐

Daisymae Thu 21-Jan-21 13:35:02

Hopefully they can manage between them. Personally I would not go as in the balance of probability you will have a more debilitating infection.

cornishpatsy Thu 21-Jan-21 14:12:46

You need to keep yourself safe as they could not cope with looking after you as well as themselves.

Hope they have a quick recovery, remember though that they are still infectious for 10 days.

Phloembundle Fri 22-Jan-21 10:05:36

If you don't know after all the constant reminders and government guidelines, then we're all doomed.

ExD Fri 22-Jan-21 10:10:47


BusterTank Fri 22-Jan-21 10:11:49

Arrange to have food delivered them and send a text everyday to check in . The rules are if they have covid they must isolate and not mix with anyone else .

Nannan2 Fri 22-Jan-21 10:11:57

My eldest sons family all got it,even the baby of a 4mths, he didn't get it himself, but he had to isolate with them.But at least he could help with the baby&the dogs.but had to distance himself as much as possible from them all.&wore a mask all the time.I guess if they're able to still carry on and function to eat and see to the baby then no you wouldn't be best advised to go help them.

Annaram1 Fri 22-Jan-21 10:19:20

I think there is a good chance you will catch covid if you look after the baby, as you said they are all struck down with covid.
Is there anyone nearby who has already had covid who could look after the baby? Such as another relative? How sick is the baby? Its risky for you, in my opinion, but obviously as a grandparent you will want to help.

sandelf Fri 22-Jan-21 10:20:28

The best way you can support them is to stay well. Unless they need hospital, they must isolate - and that means from you too.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 22-Jan-21 10:21:49

Tonucha has a right to post, phloembundle that’s very harsh, Have you not heard the phrase Be Kind!! Obviously not!