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Dieting & exercise

Overweight Husbands

(55 Posts)
ExD Sat 19-Sep-20 12:05:49

My DH is always hungry. He's also massively overweight but will not weigh himself, though I suspect he's over 20 stone so the household scales won't weigh him will they?
He has dieted in the past, after being prescribed a 12 week course with Slimming World by his GP, but since covid he's just gone silly and eaten everything in sight.
I do sympathise with his appetite - he doesn't seem to have an 'off' button. I daren't batch-cook and leave the second half to cool because he'll help himself to it and easily polish off what I was intending to freeze for another day. But its driving me mad.
Apart from the health issues, he looks a MESS, nothing like the fit young man I married over 50 years ago sad
Can anyone recommend a book of tasty, bulky, low calorie recipes - or suggest your favourites perhaps? I did start buying Slimming World frozen ready meals from Iceland, thinking if I gave him one of these every evening it would be somewhere to start, but he was still hungry afterwards, and he's not keen on curries and pasta being a boring meat and 3 veg man.
I'm lucky that I don't have a problem myself, being slightly underweight, so I make a point of never eating fattening goodies in front of him, but it means I don't really understand his need to eat so much.
If he knows I'm trying to cut his intake he goes off and buys sausage rolls or mars bars - so I need to be careful.

ps - don't suggest the 'sit him down and discuss' it with him stressing the health issue - got several tee-shirts for that one.

Ideas for tasty, bulky, low calorie meals would be welcome

Marydoll Sat 19-Sep-20 12:10:35

ExD snap! You have my sympathy. Mine thinks all he needs is a couple of games of golf each week. 😡

ExD Sat 19-Sep-20 12:19:21

I wish there was a button here to indicate 'thank you' or 'like' such as there is on Facebook. I'll let you know if I find any answers.

sparklingsilver28 Sat 19-Sep-20 12:29:38

My late DH could eat enough to feed a family at one sitting and at six feet weighed between 17 and 18 stone. At 75 he was found to have an abdominal aneurysm. After the operation and in a matter of weeks, his weight dropped by almost six and half stone. Until the end of his life at 82 he still ate a good size meal, but never regained any of the weight he had previously lost. No one has ever been able to explain this unusual phenomenon.

janeainsworth Sat 19-Sep-20 12:32:43

Sadly ExD I think you’re wasting your time and emotional energy on this one.
Your DH needs to change himself and he won’t do that until or unless he sees some benefit to himself.
I think you’ve done all you can, unless, rather than focusing on the health issues, you can bring yourself to say to him that his appearance disgusts you. I’m not sure I could. sad

Oopsadaisy4 Sat 19-Sep-20 12:35:02

DH is on a low carb diet, all the meat he wants, various fruit and veg, he has low carb bread.
No potatoes, ordinary bread, pastry, cakes etc.
Google it and you will find plenty of info ?
I found some low carb sausages ( no breadcrumbs in them)
He’s losing weight, so I am happy to go along with him as I could do with losing half a stone too, best thing is he isn’t hungry and if he is I give him a cooked sausage to snack on or some peanuts.
I am giving him lean meats though, but the Dr. Is fine with the diet at the moment. It did mean a big clear out of all the things that I like to eat though.sad

tanith Sat 19-Sep-20 12:47:23

For a different reason (because he wouldn't see the doctor no matter how i begged him) i eventually had to relinquish responsibility for his health as the worry was too much, it didn't end well. At some point your DH needs to be responsible and possibly suffer for the consequences.

Oopsadaisy4 Sat 19-Sep-20 12:51:47

I wonder why it’s the wife that has to sort out the DHs diet? ( as I do)

I’ve dieted off and on for over 40 years but I’ve never placed any responsibility for it onto my DH, I am able to say No to anything not on my diet list, but the men in our lives have to be sorted by us!

Bluebellwould Sat 19-Sep-20 12:51:59

Is he diabetic because a serious case of the munchies is one of the symptoms.

DiscoGran Sat 19-Sep-20 13:15:43

I can recommend the 8 week blood sugar diet recipe book, Michael Moseley. Been using it since the start of the year and DH has lost and kept off 2 stone and myself 1.5 stone. Some great recipes in it, low carb.

geekesse Sat 19-Sep-20 13:27:02

Replace meat in most meals with pulses or lentils. 100g of lentils is about 116 calories. The same amount of mince is 300 calories. Lentils make you feel fuller, digest more slowly so you feel full for longer, and incidentally contribute to healthy bowel habits. Almost every mince recipe can be made with one or other variety of lentils instead of meat, and you can make lentil burgers instead of the beef variety. If you have to use mince, use it half-and-half with lentils or add veg instead of half of the meat. For example, when I make spaghetti bolognese, I use very little meat but lots of chopped mushrooms and grated carrot.

Use skinned chicken or turkey instead of beef, pork or lamb when it has to be meat.

Change the balance a little on the plate: more pasta, rice or potato and less meat/lentil stuff. Never add butter to mash - use skimmed milk - and don’t use butter on new or boiled potatoes. Roast spuds should be a very rare treat, and chips too. If you do chips, oven chips are better than deep fried ones, but if you have an air-fryer, that’s even better.

Use smaller plates. They look full with less food on them.

If you do those things, you can cut the calories in every meal without an major change to the sorts of things you eat.

Do not keep biscuits, cakes, sweets, crisps or snacks in the house at all. If they are there, he will eat them. Keep fresh fruit available at all times.

Offer water or low calorie squashes, no fizzy drinks, not even sugar-free ones. Use semi- or skimmed milk for tea and coffee, and low calorie granulated sugar substitute.

fevertree Sat 19-Sep-20 14:08:25

Buy the Fast 800 recipe book and just feed him accordingly. It fooled my husband, he is losing weight. Bonus is, I am too. The main thing is, the book is full of tasty recipes smile

Good luck.

fevertree Sat 19-Sep-20 14:09:25

The book I mention is by Dr Michael Mosley's wife, she is also a GP.

janeainsworth Sat 19-Sep-20 14:28:43

Oopsadaisy I wonder why it’s the wife that has to sort out the DHs diet?
I think that is exactly the problem.
When women assume it’s their problem, the man is not only absolved of responsibility for his own health & appearance but he can also blame the woman not only for nagging him about his diet but also feeding him the wrong things.

Jaxjacky Sat 19-Sep-20 14:29:36

geekesse OP said he doesn’t like pasta, meat and two veg, I think he might just notice lentils, she also said he goes out to buy buy sausage rolls and mars bars.
ExD i would show him your post, explain you care for him, are worried and at your wits end, hence a call for help. I agree with janeainsworth the only person who can make the change is himself.
Another option is stop cooking for him.

Jaxjacky Sat 19-Sep-20 14:30:19

Sorry ‘he’s a meat and two veg’ man

lemongrove Sat 19-Sep-20 14:38:53

All you can really do realistically ExD is to provide nutritious meals and make sure the cupboards aren’t awash with snacks and treats.
Cut down on portion size too at mealtimes.If he has to go out and buy snacks he won’t do it too often presumably? Most people eat them if they are readily available but don’t bother to seek them out.Keep the fruit bowl filled up?

lemongrove Sat 19-Sep-20 14:41:21

Encourage him to walk every day?
DH often walks on his own as he walks at a much faster pace than I do.We go for an amble together most days, but every other day he does an early fast paced walk.

Luckylegs Sat 19-Sep-20 14:48:29

My husband has always been big, dieted in the past for weddings but just put it all back on and more. I’ve nagged in the past and said years ago that I don’t want to have a fat husband but to no avail.

Suddenly in February, he announced he wasn’t going to drink any more for the time being, which makes a huge difference. He also went on a really strict diet. He does the cooking so he’d make me a lovely meal but just have the meat etc with a salad or even just boiled eggs often. He admitted he was always hungry but sheer determination got him through. Neither of us had a drink for six months. Just been on holiday where he had an odd drink and relaxed the diet a bit but now we’re back, he’s back to it.

He found low fat versions of things, gave himself a treat of a sugarless Uncle Joe’s Mintballs or licorice, discovered that he liked a mixture of fruit with low fat yoghurt at lunchtime but with some granola on top or a salad but an interesting one.

All I can say is, I’ve been in awe of his willpower once he set his mind to it. He won’t weigh himself but I guess he’s lost 3/4 stones, stopped snoring, feels better, his knees don’t hurt as much. I don’t think you can make them do it, they might have to have a little fright, maybe like high blood pressure or something that is solved by losing weight. I’ve put weight on because he loves making delicious food and it satisfies his cravings but I got huge platefuls until I pointed it out!

Rufus2 Sat 19-Sep-20 14:52:03

wonder why it’s the wife that has to sort out the DHs diet? ( as I do)

It's residual "mothering" instinct! You have to cut the apron strings sooner or later! grin

PamelaJ1 Sat 19-Sep-20 16:09:24

rufus, ages ago I read that single women live longer than married women and married men live longer than unmarried men.
Now I am not sure about the figures but my DH would still be patting his beer belly fondly if it wasn’t for me!
We are on the 5/2, I’m secret eating at the moment because I don’t really want to lose any more but still feel I need to show my solidarity.
And luckylegs his snoring is almost nonexistent at the moment.
We’d love to cut the apron strings but then we maybe widows and he’s lovely really😂

fevertree Sat 19-Sep-20 16:17:47

I wonder why it’s the wife that has to sort out the DHs diet?

I also used to think like that, until I realised that my OH's bad diet habits were impacting on our shopping and meals - and therefore my weight! So I make sure that when I'm providing the day's meals, they are healthy. On his cooking days (usually 2 days a week), I eat everything but leave the carbs out. If it's pasta, I eat a small portion.

ayse Sat 19-Sep-20 18:18:50

I’ve tried over the years to help DH eat more healthily and I’ve now given up. He is type2 diabetic and has been on the 8 week diet course provided here. Every time he came back from his course he said they were saying the same thing as I’d been suggesting.

I just won’t be the food police any longer!

It does concern me but what can you do?

M0nica Sat 19-Sep-20 20:33:44

I am another. I have done all I can, I serve the healthy meals which he enjoys, and he just snacks between meals and enjoys a couple of drinks in the evening,. It is only a couple and they are well watered down, but they are still calories. He has sleep apnea and is very good with using the breathing equipment every night. If he can do that why can he not approach his weight in the same constructive manner. He might be able to dispense with the breathing apparatus if he lost enough weight.

All I can do is carry on as I do and control my own weight and fitness.sad

chelseababy Sat 19-Sep-20 20:53:46

Have you looked at the Hairy Dieters books? (The Hairy Bikers) There are a lot of slimmed down versions of normal meals.