I lived in Kent when my children were younger. 17 years ago when my daughter passed her 11 plus, her friend also passed but her parents wouldn't let her go. They didn't want her thinking she was better than the rest of her family. The teachers were distraught on her behalf, so was she. She wanted to go. There was quite a battle for a while, but in the end she went to the local secondary school. She was fortunate, her school started up a club for its brightest pupils and she lived a grammar existence that was slightly set apart from other pupils, it had to be, because they were bullied. I was driving past one day and saw a crowd of girls grab her bag and throw it into the path of oncoming traffic. I pulled over and helped her gather it all up. She did make it, she went to Oxford despite family and peer pressure. The first from her school, so it is possible. The Head was criticised for calling his scholar's club his 'elite'. He had said it in private, but it got out. Hence the bullying.
It's not the first time I have come across parents not seeming to want their children to do well in this country. Those same parents are often the ones who hate it when more able children or wealthier children are given a safer environment in which to learn, where they don't have to dumb down to fit in. Where they don't have to pretend they don't like the lessons.
Then living in a county that didn't have grammar schools, my son got a scholarship. I always thought that we were saving taxpayers/govt money by educating him privately. I thought they might even be grateful that we were helping finances to stretch a little further. Apparently not. But there are thousands of children whose parents bankrupt themselves, literally, trying to give their children a better chance. Children who would get lost in the system because of learning difficulties, or who cannot cope with being moved around because their parents have to travel to get work. Private schools employ normal state-trained teachers, they stick to the curriculum, more or less, but they are able to be a little more flexible with time because they have a longer day. And because there isn't the fighting against homework that state schools come up against. When you pay for your child's schooling, you want them to work bloody hard. So they do well. That could work in state schools too. But it won't until the parents support the teachers instead of fighting them, taking them out during term time just before exams and writing them excuses when they haven't completed an essay.
We struggle financially to keep my son at university, we thought an end would come to our own constantly being broke when he left school, but now he has entered the world of dinner suits and learning how to behave and converse with adults, just knowing that he will be able to spend a few years amongst other people as intelligent as he is makes it all worthwhile. Because if you are that little bit more intelligent, it can get very lonely at times. My daughter picked up on that very quickly. Her grammar school in Kent took only the top 10% of the pupils in the area, the one we moved to in Lincs took the top 20% as the population is far sparser and the school needed to be filled. She found that out because she asked to see the headmistress after only a week there, she was worried that it wasn't a proper grammar school, just one that had kept its old name!