Paddyann, you are talking from a very different position, I have read a lot of your posts and to your credit, you have a large close family. I know families that have been quite disfunctional and still be close, there is not a perfect way to create a family. Can you not imagine for a moment, how it feels to have your beloved child, whom you have done your best for and loved, turn away without explanation, cut all contact and keep you from much wanted and loved grandchildren, I can tell you now, it is a living bereavement, no decisions taken with regard to ec is taken likely, many times I have wished I was not here anymore, particularly since the death of my husband, the pain is so great, so please do not talk about inconditional love.
Smileless, you are a strong woman but I know what it has cost you to get to where you are now, it has come at a high cost. You are making the most of today as I should.