Do you plan on cutting your EAC out of your will?

I've been cut out and I don't care. Honestly if we were still in touch I'd rather she enjoyed her retirement with it anyway. She always was very materialistic and I've always been more of a bargain basement kinda girl.

So sorry for you Purple why a mother would choose to leave her family money to new husband and then his brother should he predecease that brother over her own child/dren is beyond me. I can't envisage ever taking another husband if I were to become a widow, hypothetically then I'd make damn sure to make a will so my children inherited all of my estate. I'm very mindful of that because a close friend of mine lost all her parents' money to her father's widow. He married again soon after her mother died then had sudden heart attack 10 years down the line, stupid man didn't make a will to safeguard his children's interests, there was quite a bit of money, 2nd wife and her children got the lot.

How I would feel about estranged children, it's hard to say, I'd hate to cut them out all together but I understand if there has been virtually no contact for years and they had deliberately been cruel and enforced the estrangement, I can see why a parent/s might do such a thing. I wouldn't judge them for doing so.

It is illegal in New Zealand to do this.

I have always known that my es, who is far wealthier than myself, has no interest in anything I own.
His grandma left him a beautiful writing desk, which he sold - his right of course but it was an indication that he wouldn't want any of my 2nd hand stuff.

So when I made my will, it had to be worded so that my Executor has the right to give what he chooses to my estranged son. I'm happy with that.

"The Family Protection Act says will-makers have a moral duty to provide not just for need, but also to recognise a person's membership of the family. Even if the child is estranged or neglectful"

That's interesting, Bradford. If an EAC is well off, as your ES seems to be though, I imagine one can leave them the bare minimum if they so choose. such as a piece of furniture or whatever (even if all they'll do is sell it). Is that correct?

If I had anything to leave in my AC's or GChildren in a will I could not, not acknowledge all of them equally.

I wouldn't hesitate to cut an estranged child out of my will.

'No contact' means no money, as far as I'm concerned.
(Luckily I've got nothing to leave anyone!)

Our ES is not in our will. He doesn't want anything to do with us so we don't feel it appropriate that he benefit from our estate.

He'll be left a few personal possessions, gifts he'd bought us that we still treasure and photo's from childhood up to the time he walked away. Our wills state that he was adequately provided for financially during our lifetime and leaving the other things demonstrates that he is recognised as a member of our family.

Yes Starlady - you can't disinherit but you can leave it to your Executors to decide what to give.

I could have stipulated my elder son be given $20, it might buy him a coffee and a cake

But I chose to leave the decision on what, or how much to give, to my Executor.

In other families this would prevent a greedy estranged child from coming in and claiming an equal portion with a sibling.

In a very large estate, it may go to dispute if the Will is contested and if the Will doesn't make it clear that the Executors or Trustees have final say. You can attach a Memorandum of Wishes which give your opinion.

"The nasty witch never wanted to see me when I was alive so I'll be jiggered if I'll leave her much now I'm dead. Give her a dollar and tell her to shut her cakehole" !!

This isn't legally binding I believe but can be produced in court if someone says, 'Mum always promised me her diamonds.'

Long story but I was estranged from my mother when she died. She left money in equal amounts to my two daughters and also her jewellery for them to share. Nothing for me which I expected and wouldn’t have taken if she had given it. I don’t think you can expect to have it both ways. No contact no money.

My will leaves everything I have equally to my daughters . I am divorced and single so no other adults to consider

I think that is a very nice solution Smileless well done!

Thanks TwiceAsNice

Our situation is a bit different, we have left everything to our two children and nothing to the children of our deceased son because we are not allowed contact with them. We have left it up to our sons to decide whether to share our estate with them, at the moment they see no reason to do so. We can, of course, change our wills in the future if the situation changes.

Twice that is exactly how I would feel too. I think if someone estranged like us and expected a share that would be morally wrong.

We are leaving absolutely nothing to our youngest estranged son - why? - because he has conned a large amount of money from us over the last few years. His eldest brother will inherit everything, & we are just hoping that he will not give his brother a penny.

I don't think I could completely leave someone out of a will, but I haven't been in such a circumstance to have to make that decision.

Here in Canada (in BC anyway) you must stipulate the reasons for the disinheritance. The will can be contested and each case looked at individually.

I think it can be difficult, in my case I know my mother has cut me out of her will, and it’s what I expect, should she relent, and leave me something (unimaginable) I would feel very awkward about it, and pass it on to my children

But, the money she has, is money earned by my dad, who I never fell out with, and my uncle, the same. So whilst I accept the situation totally, I don’t think my dad would have liked it.

I think if you're estranged then you don't expect it anyway. I am assuming that my husband isn't in his mum's will. It was her last attempt of control which didn't go how she wanted.

March

I think you’re right, I hate that my mother thinks she can buy a reconciliation.

Never going to happen!

After several years of no contact, I have disinherited my estranged son. Currently he is missing out on $3 million. I have no regrets in doing so, if he doesn't want a relationship he does not deserve an inheritance!

CanadianGran,

It was a very hard decision to come to, & took us a few years to come to this decision. We are sad & disappointed about the whole debacle, but there has been too much hurt & lies over the years which has caused my husband considerable mental health problems.

Our Solicitor has explained in a detailed letter why he won’t have any inheritance, & has confirmed that should he contest either of our wills he will not receive anything.

In Scotland any child legitimate or not can claim agaist a parent's estate. They are not entitled to propery but can claim a share of movable estate. My uncle left two of his children out of his will and they claimed . They got their share but increased the lawyer's bill a lot.

I feel strongly that estranged children should still inherit something. However I speak as a parent with 5 kids ,none of whom are estranged.I am sure parents still love their children even after a lot of hurt and upset and even estrangement. It also shows AC that a parent's love is unconditional and is a lesson in love and forgiveness which will be with the AC for the rest of their lives. Likeness if they are disinherited that final rejection will be with them for the rest of their lives.

Likewise not likeness!!

notanana2, you say “Few people CHOSE to go no contact. Most are pushed/forced to”

In my opinion, going no contact with a parent IS a choice. Are you saying that these people have no control over their own thinking, their own behaviour, that they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions because they were FORCED to go no contact? I believe that everyone is responsible for themselves and the choices that they make.

This seems such a sad thread to me. Possibly best to spend it all and leave nothing to anyone........