Well yes it is sad name depending on how you interpret it. I know some think because of my name I don't smile at all, I do just less than I used too but as time passes I smile more.
I should explain. I've been posting here on GN for almost 7 years and sometimes it's difficult for an estranged parent to understand and appreciate why and adult child estranges themselves from their own parents.
Simultaneously, it can be difficult for an abused adult child to comprehend an adult child estranging themselves from loving, caring and decent parents.
I honestly can't recommend either good reading or resources for you, raised by a toxic mother for which I'm sorry by the way, as all of my reading has been from the perspective of a mother who once had a wonderful relationship with her son, as did his father, until he married and became a father himself.
I hope I haven't put you off posting here and welcome
.
Oh good, I haven't put you off.
Yes, crappy people are every where and when they're a member of your own family, it stinks doesn't it.
Good for you for dipping your toe into the water. I remember the first time I posted and waited for someone to reply. Didn't take long; there are some great people on here.
Only took me 17 minutes to respond to you, not that I'm boasting or anything or including myself as one of the great people on here
.
Welcome Smileless2012 I think my ambition is to see you revising your name to SmilingMore2020 
My elder son cut himself off from me and his brother about 17 years ago.
Two weeks before the letter came, we had been having regular long, chatty phone calls and he'd sent me a laptop and 3 weeks later, one for his brother. He lived and still does, in Australia.
The catalyst was his girlfriend. She knew me well and I liked her but she was jealous of the good relationship I had with both boys and said she wanted to come first.
This letter from my son told me I had done and said things (according to the GF) which were so far from the sort of things I would do that if I hadn't been so shocked, I'd have laughed.
I was given an ultimatum, apologise or no contact.
I wrote and said I would gladly apologise for something I'd done to hurt her but the things in the letter just hadn't happened.
And that was that. Silence.
At first, the younger boy wrote to his brother, with whom he'd been exceptionally close all his life, saying 'You know Mum better than that, do you honestly believe she'd say or do such things?'
And he was cut off too.
My only conclusion is that he was given an ultimatum 'your Mum or me' and having initially chosen me, because he had formerly been very protective of me, she decided to up her game and make sure all contact, even by phone, was broken.
I suspect she felt that by going to Australia, her idea, it would be too hard to keep in touch but both my sons are in IT so it was easy.
When my son and gf eventually broke up, maybet he began to wonder if she'd been lying to him but couldn't bring himself to climb down off his high horse and contact me.
But that's only speculation.
I can talk about it now, all this time later, without weeping but when I was 70, I confess I hoped there might be some sort of message. But no.
In the end, we all make choices and I have to respect my son's choice in this.
He is now without any family contact at all and almost 50. Will he feel that as he gets older?
Only time will tell but I may be long gone and to be honest what this did to me, made my younger son so bitter against him, I can't see the brothers, formerly as close as twins, ever reuniting.
That's the saddest thing of all.
RaisedByWolves….Hello there, welcome and congrats on becoming a Nanny!
But I'm sorry you find yourself here looking for info on estrangement.
Low contact with my mother.
She definitely has some selfish controlling traits.
Example, she 'spiked' my tea or coffee on a regular basis with different strengths of laxative and other drugs (not quite sure what, just know the effects were sudden and powerful) over the last few years, until I caught on (how thick am I?).
Last time I had a drink made by her it was accidentally given to my AC and she literally knocked it out of his hand on to the floor! Cup smashed. We knew then she was doing it on purpose.
Too many things to mention now
Some I remember some old memories I'm not clear on.
Now I've been estranged from one of my AC and GC.
The irony is I've battled to keep the effects of my relationship with my mother away from my children when they were young.
Maybe it hasn't affected them.
Maybe I made my own mistakes with my AC.
Maybe they've made mistakes with me too.
Sometimes its all too exhausting to fathom.
That's awful Namsnanny
and despite that you still have some contact with your mother.
As for your AC, we all make mistakes. I think of it as imperfect parents doing their best for their imperfect children.
Lostchild I'm sorry you feel that way.
I hope you can find somewhere that suits you better.
I do disagree with you, but wouldn't want to make you feel any worse than you already do, by debating the point.
Good luck
RaisedbyWolves I'm sorry, it was discourteous of me not to welcome you. You will find many sad stories of estrangement here. I was astonished by just how many people choose that route. 
Anf congratulations 
on being a Nanny.
LostChild
I think you may have been on GN long enough to recognise the very few people who will try to bring you down.
They do it all the time, not just on Estrangement threads.
Once you see those names, move on, don't read, don't respond, they don't deserve it and you don't deserve more hurt. 
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