Joyful she had her chance, I tried for 40 years. I don't have a DM I have a NM. Any messages she has sent are just for the benefit of people she shows them to, nothing like she would talk to me in person. Even my kids know that and can't stand her, I wouldn't stop them having a relationship if they wanted to. They witnessed far too much. I wonder if there was something I could have tried... Far too late now. She should have apologised or come to counselling or mediation when I gave her the chance. Narcissists don't change, although there are probably people who give them as good as they get and manage that way, that's just not me.