Gransnet forums



(11 Posts)
Sallywally1 Sat 28-Sep-19 20:40:45

The pain does not get any less, one just learns to put a good face on it.

Starblaze Sun 29-Sep-19 21:37:48

Hi Sallywally1 I saw your post has gone unanswered and I don't know if you would want an EC on it. I just really hope you are OK and today is a better day.

Gonegirl Sun 29-Sep-19 22:31:04

Sallywally sad

You want to talk?

Namsnanny Sun 29-Sep-19 23:59:18

Sallywally1….. Have you posted before? It can be hard to elaborate.
Some people it all spills out, others can say much for a long time.

I agree with you, then even putting a brave face on becomes such a pressure.
Sometimes a pressure too far.

Please get in touch again, people here do care.


Ginny42 Mon 30-Sep-19 00:08:00

Sallywally1 what is the pain caused by? Is it physical pain you're coping with? It's hard sometimes to explain how you're feeling, but it's clear you're unhappy, so please let us help. I've done the putting on a brave face and it's exhausting. flowers

rosecarmel Mon 30-Sep-19 00:20:23

Estrangement is something you have to "go through" in order to come out the other side of it a changed person, willing to understand and accept the circumstances for what they were and move on- Not ruminate and linger with sad thoughts any more than necessary to heal-

Joyfulnanna Mon 30-Sep-19 01:24:10

Exactly Rosecarmel.. Thats good advice..healing does come.

EllanVannin Mon 30-Sep-19 08:34:15

Come and talk it over here Sallywally1, we're all good listeners x

Starlady Wed 02-Oct-19 14:14:53

Ditto to what EllanVannin just said. Please share your story w/ us, Sally, and hopefully, we can bring you some comfort (and good advice if you want it).

Ungranned Wed 06-Nov-19 04:14:31

Sallywally1, I've only just now read your post and I totally agree. Four years on with estrangement I really expected I wouldn't feel such pain every day but I do. As everyone expects me to be moving on by now I put that face on, every single day, but it's just a cover up for my real emotions. It really is a living bereavement. There is no closure. Having tried absolutely everything and having now a police verbal warning for harassment (!) I flounder along helplessly. I'm 70 next year and really don't want to celebrate the fact that I've gone from being a mum of three and grandma of three to a mum of one and grandma to none. So reach out again, youre not alone

Namsnanny Thu 07-Nov-19 00:14:20

Yes ungranned so many of us have used the same phrase, 'a living bereavement'.

Its just psycho babble bullying to talk of 'coming out the other side' of this complicated and heart rending problem.

How dare someone insist I feel as they say I must!

I came out the other side of my cancer episode.
I came out the other side when I broke my arm, or lost my job, or coped with my husbands illness or unemployment, or the benefits system.
I came out the other side of countless difficulties.

But, I did not come out the other side when my beloved parent died.
Nor when my dearly beloved Gran died over 50 years ago, and I don't expect to come out the other side of this episode of estrangement, how ever long it lasts.

I do what we all do live with it.

Hope you're feeling ok Ungranned? flowers

Sallywally1 …. if your around it would be nice to hear from you. flowers