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Does it get easier?

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Noregrets Fri 22-Nov-19 13:15:12

I am a newly estranged grandmother. A few days ago I had to report concerns about the children of my youngest daughter, who was failing to protect the three youngest from her husband's behaviour. They were also being bullied by the oldest, who was allowed to get away with it.
The young ones are triplets, who are nearly 8. Because of their mother's health problems I have their "other mother" throughout their lives.
It was my worst fear that they would not feel able to tell about their treatment to a stranger, and so it was. They therefore remain at home and all contact with me has been cut. What makes it worse is that it has been cut with other members of my side of the family, who supported what I had done. I still believe I did the right thing but it is doubly hard not to have any news about how they are doing.
I feel quite broken. Does it get easier with time?

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Noregrets Sun 24-Nov-19 04:05:18

That's dreadful. I did see one post where someone had an obvious dig at you. Is this site not moderated? Is it OK if I pm you? Your post has confirmed some misgivings about posting g here, just from some of the threads I've read.

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Madgran77 Sun 24-Nov-19 09:20:57

Noregrets there are many measures posters who can support you. Dont get driven away x flowers

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Smileless2012 Sun 24-Nov-19 09:26:09

Yes you can pm me Noregretssmile.

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Madgran77 Sun 24-Nov-19 09:44:39

....measured....

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CariGransnet (GNHQ) Sun 24-Nov-19 10:14:32

Noregrets

That's dreadful. I did see one post where someone had an obvious dig at you. Is this site not moderated? Is it OK if I pm you? Your post has confirmed some misgivings about posting g here, just from some of the threads I've read.

The site is post moderated - we are not able to read every post, so we ask users to report anything they think we should look at. We also ask that people don't start threads about other threads, deleted or not, and that is they are unhappy about anything they see - on a thread or in a PM - to contact us rather than discussing it openly.

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craftergran Sun 24-Nov-19 11:01:02

It does get easier. I can only suggest you are kind to yourself and that you try to distract your thoughts with more pleasant ones. Eventually you won't think about this situation every day and you will start to enjoy your life again.

Hugs.

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Noregrets Sun 24-Nov-19 13:54:25

Wow. Some news at last. Eldest d has spoken to her Dad, we are both remarried. Youngest D wasn't speaking to him either until yesterday as he supported my actions. Still a lot we don't know but what d did tell him is:

Social services are still investigating.

When paternal GPS turned up to collect the children from school on Thursday, Headteacher wouldn't let the children go with them at behest of social worker, who wanted to see their mother first.

Further meetings arranged with social worker

Boy triplet and IJ, one of the girl triplets not sleeping ? but IJ going into mummy's bed. That's never happened before but she loved to do that with me, so glad she's getting that nurturing

Ex h told d that she could not keep the children from seeing me, for their sake as I had provided so much care for them all their lives. D agreed but too angry at the moment.

So still far to go but something of a relief. Watch this space ??

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Madgran77 Sun 24-Nov-19 16:22:02

Noregrets Hang on in there flowers

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Smileless2012 Sun 24-Nov-19 18:00:48

That's really good news Noregrets what a reliefsmile. It must be comforting to know that social services have taken your concerns seriously and are now investigating.

Thank goodness for your ex H making your D see the important role you've had so far in your GC's lives, and the importance of this continuing.

Watching this space with bated breath and everything crossed for you and you dear GC x

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Noregrets Sun 24-Nov-19 19:52:06

Thank you Madgran, Craftergran and Smileless 2012. Its still quite early in the evening, and I've just woken up after falling deeply asleep for several hours. Bless you both and all the very genuinely compassionate and empathetic people here xx

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