I agree with Holyhannah,
1. Listen and adjust my expectations to a realistic view
2. I follow the same rules I want my kids to follow
3. Suggestions are given in a positive way
4. Ask my kids for their permission to be touched, kissed, hugged - bodily autonomy is huge
5. They picked their own clothes and favourite activities- within reason.
For example- wear proper winter clothes, they don't have to match.
6. They have a pick on what they want to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner from options I give them but once done, they have to eat it.
No changing minds 3 min later
I see my kids as little people with their own personalities, talents and goals in life.
My job as a parent is to help them maximize their potential and teach them good morals, not for them to blindly do what I want submissively.
They are not my extensions or do-overs of what I could not achieve as a child myself.