My teenage son has just split from his pregnant girlfriend. He only started going with her in January and she was pregnant in May. Hes just turned 19 and she is 18. They new each other when they were small and then met up early this year. My son realised she was quite controlling right at the beginning but did nothing and then she was pregnant and now admits he would of split up earlier if it had not been for the baby. My son has just started in the army and she does not work. He said he did suggest at the beginning that he did not think they should have the baby this early on in their relationship when they first found out they were having her but she was like, no we will be having her. He soon came round to thinking the baby would be fine and hoped him and her ould make it work. Its not for me to judge either way what they would decide to do and once they made the decision I was behind them. Her parents were the same. They live in England and Im up in Scotland so we have only met once so I dont know everything they would be saying. For the last year my son has traveled 2 hours most weekends to stay with his girlfriend and hardly came up the road to our house as she is very spoilt and made him feel guilty if he was not spending time with her. She has also bought all the things she wants for the baby, My son got told this was what she liked and they got it or she bought without him. They got a joint account set up and he has been putting money in and she has not as she obviously does not work.
She has absolute strops when she does not get her own way and my son just the other day said he could not cope with how she was making him feel. But now she is already making the baby be a weapon against him. She says he'll be notified of when the baby is born, she questioned why he would want to see future photos and videos. He has been told that he will have to make all the effort to go and see the baby but she will have to be there. Where she lives he would need to get a hotel or something or he'll only get to see her for a few hours or pay for accomodation. She has also told him she wants £260 paid to her each month to cover baby costs and when he said he might struggle financially to be able to see the baby her response was - not my problem. She told me yesterday she will be doing what she can for HER daughter as I tried to remind her that he is the dad and just because they have broke up that should not affect my son and his daughter. She is living at her parents and they will be looking after her so we dont have any access to this litte girl coming and neither does my son. Is there any advice for where my son can go for help to see what he can do to be a dad. I think English law will be different to Scottish as well so not clued up on what it will ll involve. Many thanks a very worried mum
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Estrangement
That’s a tough situation that they’ve created 
I suppose it depends what he wants - does he want to be involved? He might want to think about contacting an organisation like Dads Rock www.dadsrock.org.uk/young-dads who can give him advice and the amount he’ll pay will be determined by the Child Maintenance Service so he should probably contact them for advice.
In terms of your role, I think all you can do is support your son and don’t say too much about her, regardless of your feelings or thoughts on the matter. Hopefully someone else who has experienced a similar situation will be along soon to give you some advice.
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