On Mother’s Day this year an argument took place on the phone between my son and my husband since then we have been told we will never see our grandson or the new baby which is due at the end of the summer ever again!
Now here is why the argument took place.....
Our son took drugs while at college 10-12 years ago since then he’s behaviour has become increasingly more controlling aggressive and paranoid he also displays bi-polar type symptoms. He has had several long term relationship all of which have ended because of his behaviour I would get text messages in the middle of the night from girlfriends saying they were scared and worried ( he would shut himself in the bathroom for hours crying ) I always contacted them ASAP but by the time I called it was all over and calm again.
We got him help on several occasions and encouraged him to seek it himself all to no avail if a counsellor even intimated some blame might lie with him he would not accept it. Over the years he has ‘kicked off ‘ in front of family and friends at special times like Mother’s Day or my 50th birthday party. All alcohol induced.
Four years ago he met a lovely girl who came from as she described to me dysfunctional background and never had a mum that was there for her as she said a complete contrast to me and my husband relationship with our son.
Soon we had a grandson our first and the light of our lives they were both very protective of him which was understandable and we waited our turn to be invited into the new baby circle( she has a huge family) they soon realised that we were very useful when it came to childcare we were first in the queue, as she had younger siblings it was often difficult for her mum to look after him while they were working.
As struggling newly qualified teachers we supported them every way with childcare having hot meals ready for when they got home took our grandson to grandparent and toddler groups toddler drama clubs we played a huge part in his life, emotional support especially when her mum was sectioned after another suicide attempt and when her grandparents died and financially as they had or no money we often bought their food shop helped out with bills etc and last year we gave them enough for the deposit on their first home and enough to cover miscellaneous fees incurred.
However at the same time we were doing all this they both treated us with contempt we were often phoned driving home and berated about things we had done wrong if my son came home early for example there were too many toys out i should tidy up more and I was told off really nastily. Too many occasions of ‘telling offs ‘ to recount.
We were getting to the stage where we were exhausted by this and I was often in tears on my way home after being around them our grandson was the only thing keeping me sane.
We have felt we were walking on egg shells constantly last year I was told I had upset her mum by insisting she wore a mask while in my car even though she is exempt allegedly made her cry and forced her to show me her exemption card ALL of this is pure fabrication I was giving her a lift somewhere because she did not want to use public transport.
This caused my son not to talk to me for a month until I had apologised it was soul destroying.
This year was the first mother’s day without my Mil she died from Covid before Christmas and he kicked off over the phone because we had asked him if we could wait just 2 more weeks after they went back to work so we could have our first jabs , I have a breathing issue, and because we were 10 mins late signing in to a zoom call even though I told him we would be a few minutes late.
I have been in counselling ever since I have seen them twice since dropping off Easter and birthday gifts for our grandson twice my son blanked me as if I didn’t exist and once she did twice they positioned my grandson so he couldn’t see me I am utterly heartbroken.
Sorry if I’ve gone on a bit x
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People eating and drinking on the go
