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Everyday Ageism

We do exist, but after this why bother?

(139 Posts)
M0nica Thu 07-Mar-19 16:19:49

Prince Harry gave a speech yesterday in which he said:

You may find yourself frustrated with the older generation when it seems they don’t care. Try to remember that not everyone sees the world the way you do but that doesn’t mean they don’t care.

You have the the incredible opportunity to help reshape mindsets, to empower those around you to think outside the box and to work with you, not against you, to find solutions

Now I know he is not the sharpest knife in the box, but he pas a personal office which contains press and media advisers - and probably speech writers as well, but why did someone let him make statements like this.

I wonder what is grandmother has said to him in private about it?

notentirelyallhere Thu 07-Mar-19 16:32:30

I don't know who he was addressing or what about but a lot of the older generation probably look as though they don't care, for instance because they voted for Brexit thus depriving the younger generation of the opportunity to study and work in the EU; they imposed a student loan system whereas degrees were free for them; they have made vast amounts of money out of the property market and by becoming buy to let landlords have made renting hugely expensive; they call young people snowflakes and berate them for having mobile phones and spending money on coffees and holidays (despite the huge amount of travelling that many, many older people do now).

I'm not suggesting it's ALL older people or that these criticisms are reasonable but it's what a lot of young people feel and perceive and they have a right to their point of view. The world is a very different place now to the 1940s, 50s and 60s especially, we cannot return to the way of life we had then and Harry is a public figure who does good work for young people and to whom they respond. He was only asking for a little toleration, not really a problem surely.

janeainsworth Thu 07-Mar-19 16:37:47

Not sure what the problem is monica. Perhaps you’ve read something into his words that I can’t see.
I agree with notentirely, I think he was just asking for tolerance.
He could have asked older people to be more tolerant of the young while he was at it.

M0nica Thu 07-Mar-19 17:30:52

Why do I object to these words? Because he is describing the older generation as a mass as being unsympathetic to younger peoples aspirations and concerns and suggesting that we cannot cope with the modern world and need to be helped to change by young people.

You only have to read GN to know how aware we are of the problems facing the world and young people. From concerns about global warming, the cost of an university education to the gig economy and the price of housing, whether renting or buying, to name but a few.

Many/most of us have grandchildren of varying ages and are constantly talking to them and hearing about their problems.

notentirelyallhere but a lot of the older generation probably look as though they don't care, for instance because they voted for Brexit thus depriving the younger generation of the opportunity to study and work in the EU; they imposed a student loan system whereas degrees were free for them; they have made vast amounts of money out of the property market and by becoming buy to let landlords have made renting hugely expensive; they call young people snowflakes and berate them for having mobile phones and spending money on coffees and holidays (despite the huge amount of travelling that many, many older people do now).

I am sorry, but I disagree. Yes, some old people do all of those things, but so do many younger people. Many of those things were political decisions made by political parties we did not vote for, because we opposed those very policies. Speak to a retired person in State pension alone and renting their accommodation - and their are millions of them and ask them about the money they have made from house purchase and what rent they get from their buy to let

Most buy to let properties are bought by people well under retirement age who have chosen to invest in property rather than a pension.

M0nica Thu 07-Mar-19 17:32:28

I might add, that it is sweeping statements made by Prince Harry and notentirelyallhere that fuel the fires of Ageism.

EllanVannin Thu 07-Mar-19 17:44:56

He was probably referring to his own grandparents----it is he who needs to think outside the box as all grandparents aren't like his !!

sodapop Thu 07-Mar-19 19:06:21

Do I detect the hand of Meghan in his speech ? Hopefully they will settle down soon and be more aware of their role.

Lily65 Thu 07-Mar-19 19:12:15

notentirely, interesting point but I don't think we can categorise any generation really. The people on here with their numerous properties and foreign holidays who worry about dipping into their savings are not typical really.

Gonegirl Thu 07-Mar-19 19:18:02

He might well think that old people are dyed-in-the-wool and old fashioned. He might be right. Especially where Brexit is concerned. But I don't think it is for young people to reshape our minds. That sounds arrogant. They will just have to deal with their world as best they can when the time comes. No good encouraging them to be disrespectful of older folk.

RosieLeah Thu 07-Mar-19 19:24:42

I agree with EllanVannin...if he did write the speech himself, he is referring to his own family. They have probably been intolerant of his less than acceptable behaviour. After that photo of him in the nude appeared on the front pages, he was probably urged to settle down, marry and start behaving in a manner more fitting for a royal prince.

M0nica Thu 07-Mar-19 19:41:32

Not sure about Brexit. Leave votes were most closely aligned with education levels reached and older people, generally, left school younger and started work with few education qualifications because they were not available and not needed for many jobs.

Older people with A levels and degrees, mainly voted remain.

I am not making any value judgments just stating the facts of the analysis of the way people voted.

BradfordLass72 Thu 07-Mar-19 22:35:53

I don't see what's wrong with his speech.

Because he is describing the older generation as a mass as being unsympathetic to younger peoples aspirations and concern

No, he's not and I'm amazed you can see it that way.

He says, '...when it seems as if they don't care..'

Not 'they don't care.'

But frankly a lot of old people don't care, that's a fact. It's also human and normal and not that big a deal. But that's still not what he said!

He added:

Try to remember that not everyone sees the world the way you do but that doesn’t mean they don’t care

Which surely anyone can see are wise, true and perceptive words and, if critical of anyone, are directed at younger people and those who make assumptions.

Nor is he suggesting that young people can change the minds of older people - not from what's quoted above anyway.

He's simply making a statement that.. You have the the incredible opportunity to help reshape mindsets, to empower those around you to think outside the box and to work with you, not against you, to find solutions

Absolutely true, they DO have that power. I cannot see any hint that he's implying 'you can teach old dogs some new tricks' - he says "those around you" - and who is that likely to be? Their peers.

Give the kid a break {smile]

M0nica Thu 07-Mar-19 22:46:50

Not caring or not seeming to care is not a quality limited to older people, or even more common in older people than other sectors of society, nor is seeing things differently from other people, so why attribute this to older people only and not society as a whole?

It is an example of what I would call institutionalised ageism and it is this sort of throwaway remark not thought about that makes ageism, like sexism and racism that people are determined to consider entirely generl in meaning. Most of the newspapers, no matter how they disagree, on other things interpreted his words the way i did.

Jalima1108 Thu 07-Mar-19 23:13:05

Now I know he is not the sharpest knife in the box, but he pas a personal office which contains press and media advisers - and probably speech writers as well, but why did someone let him make statements like this.

I have read about this today M0nica and I think, quite frankly, that he will take no notice whatsoever of his advisers or anyone else except his wife now.

Although he was addressing an audience of young people, I thought the speech was ill-considered, ill-informed and ageist.

The Duke told youngsters at the annual WE Day conference they were the “most engaged generation in history”, as he quoted the Duchess’ favourite mantra from Martin Luther King.
“As my wife often reminds me with one of her favourite quotes by Martin Luther King Jr. – ‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that'."

Martin Luther King was born in 1929.

Jalima1108 Thu 07-Mar-19 23:16:25

The people on here with their numerous properties and foreign holidays who worry about dipping into their savings are not typical really.
grin - really?
numerous properties? I doubt many on here have numerous properties
Most young people I know go on far more foreign holidays than we do or ever have.

There are also many on here who are struggling Lily!

Jalima1108 Thu 07-Mar-19 23:19:52

I do think that he needs a few lessons in 20th century history and the campaigns that ordinary people carried out both here and other countries.

notentirelyallhere Thu 07-Mar-19 23:56:11

Having gone and looked in detail at the speech in question, for instance here:

www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a26708102/prince-harry-we-day-speech-transcript-2019/

I think pulling out a sentence from a MOTIVATIONAL speech and using that as a straw man to get excited about and refute is rather missing the point.

Yes, there have been campaigns throughout the later 20th century, I assume by this is meant campaigns to make the world a safer, healthier, more peaceful place but hello, are you listening,??? because the world is in a worse place than would have been imaginable 30 years ago. Action is needed now and young people need support and encouragement. As Harry says climate change is the biggest challenge of all, never mind inequality, poverty, rampant corporate behaviour, tax evasion, political corruption, wars, fake news, cyber crime, the resurgence of Russia, political tensions in the Far East between China and Japan, anti nuclear treaties are being torn up and limited nuclear war is being imagined, the scramble for territory and influence as the ice melts at the North Pole and access to oil and free passage becomes critical. Massive changes are happening now, stop looking backwards, the world is in a mess. Whether or not you think you or the UK are in any way responsible is actually irrelevant to the scale of the crisis facing us. If I were young I would be very depressed as studies show the young are and that is what the speech in question was attempting to address in a highly relevant situation.

GrandmainOz Fri 08-Mar-19 01:44:50

notentirelyallhere I find a great deal I agree with in your post. I worry for the younger generations and I didn't take the speech as a slur aimed at the elderly, but rather a recognition that MANY people have their heads in the sand when it comes to vital issues eg climate change. The "I'm all right, Jack" mentality is certainly not confined to people over a certain age, and I didn't feel that he was saying that. To use the old 70's feminist phrase, it seems to me that some "consciousness raising" needs to happen in so many areas of society. My 92 year old grandmother is one of the most astute, forward thinking people I know wink but my husband, a generation younger, doesn't give a fig about recycling, reducing emissions etc. So let's not generalise. Wisdom/ignorance can occur in people of any age!

M0nica Fri 08-Mar-19 08:27:44

Well when someone says You may find yourself frustrated with the older generation when it seems they don’t care. Is quite specific. I quite agree with your analysis of the problem of not caring being a societal problem not a generational one. But that is not what he said.

I worry about the indifference of so many older people to the casual ageism of everyday life, shown in speeches like this and the i interview, we are just casually left out, not mentioned

Personally, I thought Prince Harry's speech was a nice woolly cuddly warm speech full of all the right words and simplistic ideas, but sadly lacking in substance. All mother love and apple pie.

It is a pity he and his wife do not put their words into action and actually restructure their lives and practice what they preach. That would do more to achieve all the things he talked about than anything else.

Anniebach Fri 08-Mar-19 08:44:00

‘ to think outside the box’ that’s enough for me

MissAdventure Fri 08-Mar-19 08:59:05

I think its a cheek to specify the older generation as seeming not to care.
The exact same thoughts could be applied to the very privileged, which would include Harry and co.

Anniebach Fri 08-Mar-19 09:04:55

He is out of his depth

Lily65 Fri 08-Mar-19 09:52:31

Yes, Annie.

Minerva Fri 08-Mar-19 09:58:02

Just what I was thinking Anniebach

Gonegirl Fri 08-Mar-19 10:00:16

I have just watched the video of him making the speech (thanks for the link notentirelyallthere ).

He wasn't slagging off the older generation at all. He was speaking to the young people in a way they will understand. Every word he said was true. Well done him. I think that video should be shown in every school in the country.