Gransnet forums

Games

Limericks 8

(1000 Posts)
Juliet27 Fri 28-Jun-19 18:28:05

Starting 8 with the end of 7

The neighbours are out in the garden today
Cutting grass with the mower they bought on Ebay
But the blades are too blunt
So they took a punt
And let the lawn turn to hay.

45 degrees! I know I'd not cope

Jangran99 Fri 28-Jun-19 18:35:19

45 degrees! I know I'd not cope
Are we on climate’s slippery slope?

callgirl1 Fri 28-Jun-19 23:36:38

45 degrees! I know I`d not cope
Are we on climate`s slippery slope?
I`ve worn out my fan

crazyH Fri 28-Jun-19 23:43:48

45 degrees! I know I`d not cope
Are we on climate`s slippery slope?
I`ve worn out my fan
Awaiting the icecream van

BradfordLass72 Sat 29-Jun-19 03:14:36

45 degrees! I know I`d not cope
Are we on climate`s slippery slope?
I`ve worn out my fan
Awaiting the ice cream van
My hols at Scott Base give me hope.

I'm packing a nice furry swimsuit

Juliet27 Sat 29-Jun-19 07:51:24

I'm packing a nice furry swimsuit
The seals will find me so cute

henetha Sat 29-Jun-19 10:26:29

I'm packing a nice furry swimsuit
The seals will find me so cute
With penguins I'll swim

Juliet27 Sat 29-Jun-19 11:41:45

I'm packing a nice furry swimsuit
The seals will find me so cute
With penguins I'll swim
I went out on a limb

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 14:50:09

I'm packing a nice furry swimsuit
The seals will find me so cute
With penguins I'll swim
I went out on a limb
I’ll be cosy, my body’s so hirsute.

Remember the first time you dated

Juliet27 Sat 29-Jun-19 17:38:11

Remember the first time you dated
My mum was so cross I was gated

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 18:54:40

Remember the first time you dated
My mum was so cross I was gated

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 18:55:33

Ooop s
Remember the first time you dated
My mum was so cross I was gated
I couldn't let him know

Juliet27 Sat 29-Jun-19 21:32:49

Remember the first time you dated
My mum was so cross I was gated
I couldn't let him know
Why I’d be a no-show

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 21:57:29

Remember the first time you dated
My mum was so cross I was gated
I couldn't let him know
Why I’d be a no-show
My first beau waited and waited.

That wasn't the end of this story

callgirl1 Sat 29-Jun-19 22:13:39

That wasn`t the end of this story
I found out that he voted Tory

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 22:36:03

That wasn`t the end of this story
I found out that he voted Tory

Jangran99 Sat 29-Jun-19 22:40:02

Oh no!
That wasn`t the end of this story
I found out that he voted Tory
That wasn't my party

callgirl1 Sat 29-Jun-19 23:16:05

That wasn`t the end of this story
I found out that he voted Tory
That wasn`t my party
Does that make me tarty?

Juliet27 Sun 30-Jun-19 06:27:22

That wasn`t the end of this story
I found out that he voted Tory
That wasn`t my party
Does that make me tarty?
Well it doesn't fill you with glory!

Must now walk the dog while it's cooler.

henetha Sun 30-Jun-19 10:50:34

Must now walk the dog while it's cooler,
After that I'm going to the jeweller

Juliet27 Sun 30-Jun-19 16:01:36

Must now walk the dog while it's cooler,
After that I'm going to the jeweller
My watch needs mending

Jangran99 Sun 30-Jun-19 20:08:47

Must now walk the dog while it's cooler,
After that I'm going to the jeweller
My watch needs mending
My chain's lost the ending

Grannycool52 Sun 30-Jun-19 22:12:19

I measured it with my new ruler.

Then it's off to the pub for a glass

Grannycool52 Sun 30-Jun-19 22:14:49

Then it's off to the pub for a glass
Definitely not that awful old Bass

crazyH Sun 30-Jun-19 22:18:22

Then it's off to the pub for a glass
If I wasn’t a lady , I would rhyme it with a—e

Juliet27 Sun 30-Jun-19 22:39:53

Then it's off to the pub for a glass
Definitely not that awful old Bass
In this heat it's a Pimms

Jangran99 Sun 30-Jun-19 23:11:40

Then it's off to the pub for a glass
Definitely not that awful old Bass
In this heat it's a Pimms
So until the sun dims

callgirl1 Sun 30-Jun-19 23:42:10

Then it`s off to the pub for a glass
Definitely not that awful old Bass
In this heat it`s a Pimms
So until the sun dims
I`ll behave like a lady with class

My back yard is so full of nettles

Grannycool52 Sun 30-Jun-19 23:57:50

My backyard is so full of nettles,
Bicycles, prams and old kettles,
I tried to find space

callgirl1 Mon 01-Jul-19 00:03:20

My back yard is so full of nettles,
Bicycles, prams and old kettles,
I tried to find space
For a great big suitcase

Juliet27 Mon 01-Jul-19 07:37:24

My back yard is so full of nettles,
Bicycles, prams and old kettles,
I tried to find space
For a great big suitcase
But it was full of precious metals.

So who had hidden that hoard?

Jangran99 Mon 01-Jul-19 07:59:07

So who had hidden that hoard?
To the owner it should be restored,

Grannycool52 Mon 01-Jul-19 09:05:31

But I think 'Ah to hell,
I might as well sell...:

Jangran99 Mon 01-Jul-19 09:40:37

Grannycool we only add one line at a time,smile

So who had hidden that hoard
To the owner it should be restored,
But I think 'Ah to hell,
My conscience I'll quell

henetha Mon 01-Jul-19 10:39:48

So who had hidden that hoard
To the owner it should be restored,
But I think 'Ah to hell,
My conscience I'll quell
As done up to the nines the posh liner I board.

So will I meet Mr.Right at sea?

Juliet27 Mon 01-Jul-19 15:41:54

So will I meet Mr.Right at sea?
And will he go down on one knee?

Grannycool52 Mon 01-Jul-19 17:14:09

(Ah sorry, Jangran99, am new and didn't realise, so thanks for telling me)

Grannycool52 Mon 01-Jul-19 17:15:57

With a big diamond ring

Grannycool52 Mon 01-Jul-19 17:18:12

So will I meet Mr Right at sea?
And will he go down on one knee?
With a big diamond ring

Jangran99 Mon 01-Jul-19 19:00:11

So will I meet Mr Right at sea?
And will he go down on one knee?
With a big diamond ring
Genuine, not bling

Jangran99 Mon 01-Jul-19 19:01:19

And welcome Grannycoolsmile

callgirl1 Mon 01-Jul-19 22:14:46

So will I meet Mr Right at sea?
And will he go down on one knee?
With a big diamond ring
Genuine, not bling,
That he acquired for a rather large fee

My sister is having a party

Jangran99 Mon 01-Jul-19 23:19:17

My sister is having a party
She's suddenly come over all arty

callgirl1 Tue 02-Jul-19 00:31:53

My sister is having a party
She`s suddenly come over all arty
With home made vol au vents,

BradfordLass72 Tue 02-Jul-19 01:06:34

My sister is having a party
She`s suddenly come over all arty
With home made vol au vents
And small sandwich tents

Bellanonna Tue 02-Jul-19 10:29:59

My sister is having a party
She`s suddenly come over all arty
With home made vol au vents
And small sandwich tents
And the guests being all hale and hearty

We’ll probably swim in her pool

henetha Tue 02-Jul-19 10:32:11

We’ll probably swim in her pool
And take the kids there after school

Juliet27 Tue 02-Jul-19 17:13:35

We’ll probably swim in her pool
And take the kids there after school
They'll happily splash

Jangran99 Tue 02-Jul-19 17:24:42

We’ll probably swim in her pool
And take the kids there after school
They'll happily splash
While her teeth she'll gnash

Grannycool52 Tue 02-Jul-19 18:16:41

We'll probably swim in her pool
And take the kids there after school
They'll happily splash
While her teeth she'll gnash
To be honest, she looks like a ghoul.

Grannycool52 Tue 02-Jul-19 18:17:57

I'd love to make her look pretty,

callgirl1 Tue 02-Jul-19 22:39:48

I`d love to make her look pretty
And take her clothes shopping up in the city,

Juliet27 Wed 03-Jul-19 06:13:30

I`d love to make her look pretty
And take her clothes shopping up in the city,
A complete change of style

Bellanonna Wed 03-Jul-19 08:34:30

I`d love to make her look pretty
And take her clothes shopping up in the city,
A complete change of style
It will all be worthwhile

Grany Wed 03-Jul-19 15:00:33

I`d love to make her look pretty
And take her clothes shopping up in the city,
A complete change of style
It will all be worthwhile
And we'll end up singing a ditty

Out in the summer sunshine

crazyH Wed 03-Jul-19 15:08:06

Out in the summer sunshine
With an a long lost friend of mine

crazyH Wed 03-Jul-19 15:12:08

A not an

Grannycool52 Wed 03-Jul-19 19:02:49

Out in the summer sunshine
With a long lost friend of mine
In our very best frocks

Bellanonna Wed 03-Jul-19 19:28:11

Out in the summer sunshine
With a long lost friend of mine
In our very best frocks
And our luminous socks

Juliet27 Wed 03-Jul-19 22:42:11

Out in the summer sunshine
With a long lost friend of mine
In our very best frocks
And our luminous socks
For our childhood we started to pine.

We had both gone our separate ways

Bellanonna Wed 03-Jul-19 22:46:37

We had both gone our separate ways
Since those long-ago, far-off days

callgirl1 Wed 03-Jul-19 23:07:22

We had both gone our separate ways
Since those long ago, far off days,
But memories are golden

Jangran99 Wed 03-Jul-19 23:13:38

We had both gone our separate ways
Since those long ago, far off days,
But memories are golden
Some tears I couldn’t hold in

crazyH Wed 03-Jul-19 23:14:33

We had both gone our separate ways
Since those long ago, far off days,
But memories are golden
In our minds we hold them

Juliet27 Thu 04-Jul-19 06:04:51

We had both gone our separate ways
Since those long ago, far off days,
But memories are golden
Some tears I couldn’t hold in
Our shared past was a happy phase.

A visiting lethario from Rome

BradfordLass72 Thu 04-Jul-19 07:11:51

A visiting lethario from Rome
Kissed my hand and said, 'Please take me home.'

Bellanonna Thu 04-Jul-19 07:27:48

A visiting lethario from Rome
Kissed my hand and said, 'Please take me home.'
I replied, “On yer bike”

henetha Thu 04-Jul-19 11:25:00

A visiting lethario from Rome
Kissed my hand and said, 'Please take me home.'
I replied, “On yer bike”
"I'll follow on my trike"

Juliet27 Thu 04-Jul-19 22:05:35

A visiting lethario from Rome
Kissed my hand and said, 'Please take me home.'
I replied, “On yer bike”
"I'll follow on my trike"
But safer to leave him to roam.

I can't say sky diving appeals

callgirl1 Thu 04-Jul-19 23:34:55

I can`t say sky diving appeals
It plays havoc with all of my meals

Bellanonna Thu 04-Jul-19 23:35:26

I can't say sky diving appeals
All movement for me requires wheels

crazyH Thu 04-Jul-19 23:40:27

I can`t say sky diving appeals
It plays havoc with all of my meals
I see the earth closing in

henetha Fri 05-Jul-19 10:58:40

I can`t say sky diving appeals
It plays havoc with all of my meals
I see the earth closing in
And I'll need a strong gin

Jangran99 Fri 05-Jul-19 17:40:36

I can`t say sky diving appeals
It plays havoc with all of my meals
I see the earth closing in
And I'll need a strong gin
Before I go head over heels

I'm having some time in the sun

Oldandverygrey Fri 05-Jul-19 17:43:03

I'm having some time in the sun
In preference to doing a 5K run

Juliet27 Fri 05-Jul-19 18:33:58

I'm having some time in the sun
In preference to doing a 5K run
I'm topping up D

Jangran99 Fri 05-Jul-19 18:39:33

I'm having some time in the sun
In preference to doing a 5K run
I'm topping up D
Vits needed you see

crazyH Fri 05-Jul-19 20:03:41

I'm having some time in the sun
In preference to doing a 5K run
I'm topping up D
Vits needed you see
But go easy, don't take a ton.

Feeling rather unglamorous today

callgirl1 Fri 05-Jul-19 22:12:39

Feeling rather unglamorous today
Trying to keep years of neglect at bay

FarNorth Fri 05-Jul-19 22:27:21

Feeling rather unglamorous today
Trying to keep years of neglect at bay
Will cold cream help me?

crazyH Fri 05-Jul-19 22:33:28

Feeling rather unglamorous today
Trying to keep years of neglect at bay
Will cold cream help me?
Will girdles restrict me ?

Bellanonna Fri 05-Jul-19 22:36:58

Feeling rather unglamorous today
Trying to keep years of neglect at bay
Will cold cream help me?
Or a facelift or three?

crazyH Fri 05-Jul-19 22:58:47

Feeling rather unglamorous today
Trying to keep years of neglect at bay
Will cold cream help me?
Or a facelift or three?
I'll go for it anyway.

There's too many of us complaining

callgirl1 Fri 05-Jul-19 23:06:39

There`s too many of us complaining
It could be worse, could be raining,

FarNorth Fri 05-Jul-19 23:51:46

There`s too many of us complaining
It could be worse, could be raining,
Let's all show a grin grin

Juliet27 Sat 06-Jul-19 05:57:09

There`s too many of us complaining
It could be worse, could be raining,
Let's all show a grin
And lift your chin

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 06:19:15

There`s too many of us complaining
It could be worse, could be raining,
Let's all show a grin
And lift your chin
Then think of the tan you are gaining.

Had trouble sleeping last night

Juliet27 Sat 06-Jul-19 06:43:31

Had trouble sleeping last night
In this heat it's a bit of a fight

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 08:58:39

Had trouble sleeping last night
In this heat it's a bit of a fight
Twisting and turning

henetha Sat 06-Jul-19 11:04:01

Had trouble sleeping last night
In this heat it's a bit of a fight
Twisting and turning
Sweating and burning

Juliet27 Sat 06-Jul-19 11:58:34

Had trouble sleeping last night
In this heat it's a bit of a fight
Twisting and turning
Sweating and burning
By morning I look such a fright.

A handsome young angler from Rye

crazyH Sat 06-Jul-19 12:10:27

A handsome young angler from Rye
Crossed my path, I gave him my eye

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 14:46:25

We sat by the bank

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 15:05:57

A handsome young angler from Rye
Crossed my path, I gave him my eye
We sat by the bank

crazyH Sat 06-Jul-19 15:16:20

A handsome young angler from Rye
Crossed my path, I gave him my eye
We sat by the bank
But no hankypank

Juliet27 Sat 06-Jul-19 15:43:52

A handsome young angler from Rye
Crossed my path, I gave him my eye
We sat by the bank
But no hankypank
I think he was far too shy.

But then there was a pull on his rod

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 16:37:21

But then there was a pull on his rod
It was a big one,oh my god

Grannycool52 Sat 06-Jul-19 20:43:16

But then there was a pull on his rod,
It was a big one, oh my God,
Mind you, it was slimy

crazyH Sat 06-Jul-19 20:58:19

But then there was a pull on his rod,
It was a big one, oh my God,
Mind you, it was slimy
And a bit grimey

Olderthanmost Sat 06-Jul-19 23:00:49

But then there was a pull on his rod,
It was a big one, oh my God,
Mind you, it was slimy
And a bit grimey
Inflamed at the top of the pod

I played with that eel for a while

This discussion thread has reached a 1000 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion