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Limericks 9

(669 Posts)
FarNorth Thu 08-Aug-19 23:53:06

I really don`t mind being hirsute
My hair's glossy and really quite cute

Amagran Fri 09-Aug-19 00:24:11

I really don`t mind being hirsute
My hair's glossy and really quite cute
The tiara adds style

Grany Fri 09-Aug-19 08:24:23

I really don`t mind being hirsute
My hair's glossy and really quite cute
The tiara adds style
Making me look quite wild

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 09-Aug-19 10:01:12

I really don't mind being hirsute
My hair's glossy and really quite cute
The tiara adds style
Making me look quite wild
When I walk down the street, drivers hoot.

Then I bumped into a rustic country type

henetha Fri 09-Aug-19 10:11:56

Then I bumped into a rustic country type
Richer than he looked, full of hype

FarNorth Fri 09-Aug-19 10:47:48

Then I bumped into a rustic country type
Richer than he looked, full of hype
He said "Come, see my byre"

Amagran Fri 09-Aug-19 11:02:42

Then I bumped into a rustic country type
Richer than he looked, full of hype
He said "Come, see my byre"
But he didn't light my fire

Grannycool52 Fri 09-Aug-19 11:02:54

Then I bumped into a rustic country type
Richer than he looked, full of hype
He said 'Come see my byre
I'll set your heart on fire'

Grannycool52 Fri 09-Aug-19 11:03:41

Sorry, Anagram! You were first!

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 09-Aug-19 12:21:32

Then I bumped into a rustic country type
Richer than he looked, full of hype
He said "Come, see my byre"
But he didn't light my fire
To him I said, "No thanks, you're full tripe".

The rain's coming again and the wind it's a blowing.

FarNorth Fri 09-Aug-19 12:34:25

The rain's coming again and the wind it's a blowing.
Any minute now we could see snowing

Jangran99 Fri 09-Aug-19 14:10:32

The rain's coming again and the wind it's a blowing.
Any minute now we could see snowing
Our weather's a lottery

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 09-Aug-19 14:43:47

The rain's coming again and the wind it's a blowing.
Any minute now we could see snowing
Our weather's a lottery
The forecast's a mockery

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 09-Aug-19 18:13:20

The rain's coming again and the wind it's a blowing.
Any minute now we could see snowing
Our weather's a lottery
The forecast's a mockery
I've given up driving and taken up rowing.

Tom's favourite animal is the elephant

Jangran99 Fri 09-Aug-19 18:22:01

Tom's favourite animal is the elephant
To find a rhyme I am hesitant

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 18:23:42

Tom's favourite animal is the elephant
To find a rhyme I am hesitant
But if I write 'trunk'

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 09-Aug-19 18:34:52

Tom's favourite animal is the elephant
To find a rhyme I am hesitant
But if I write 'trunk'
You'd say I were drunk.

Jangran99 Fri 09-Aug-19 19:03:46

Tom's favourite animal is the elephant
To find a rhyme I am hesitant
But if I write 'trunk'
You'd say I was drunk.
To finish this limerick, well I can’t

Not every word has a true rhyme

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 19:05:19

Not every word has a true rhyme
But for this I'd use 'lager and lime'

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 09-Aug-19 19:10:09

Not every word has a true rhyme
But for this I'd use 'lager and lime'
Make mine a G+ T please

Amagran Fri 09-Aug-19 20:33:10

Not every word has a true rhyme
But for this I'd use 'lager and lime'
Make mine a G&T please
With lemon, just a squeeze

callgirl1 Fri 09-Aug-19 23:48:47

Not every word has a true rhyme
But for this I`d use "lager and lime"
Make mine a G&T please
With lemon, just a squeeze
But only if you have the time

Has everyone now gone to bed?

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 00:11:43

Has everyone now gone to bed?
Hope it wasn't something we said

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 00:27:48

Has everyone now gone to bed?
Hope it wasn't something we said
No, it was too much to drink

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 00:36:08

Has everyone now gone to bed?
Hope it wasn't something we said
No, it was too much to drink
Now just too tired to think,

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 01:05:12

Has everyone now gone to bed?
Hope it wasn't something we said
No, it was too much to drink
Now just too tired to think,
I think I am losing the tread...head...thre..a…d..

Five days of childcare has taken its toll

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 10-Aug-19 08:19:16

Five days of childcare has taken its toll
And now I just want to dig me a hole

crazyH Sat 10-Aug-19 08:25:24

Five days of childcare has taken its toll
And now I just want to dig me a hole
Try handling my lot

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 08:37:10

Five days of childcare has taken its toll
And now I just want to dig me a hole
Try handling my lot
Aged 8, 5 and tot

henetha Sat 10-Aug-19 10:12:16

Five days of childcare has taken its toll
And now I just want to dig me a hole
Try handling my lot
Aged 8, 5 and tot
I need a break, maybe the north Pole!

I might encounter a polar bear up there

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 11:22:46

I might encounter a polar bear up there
The sight of me would give it a scare

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 12:31:48

I might encounter a polar bear up there
The sight of me would give it a scare
Space enough for us both

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 14:22:36

I might encounter a polar bear up there
The sight of me would give it a scare
Space enough for us both
It's for sure I am loath

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 15:58:12

I might encounter a polar bear up there
The sight of me would give it a scare
Space enough for us both
It's for sure I am loath
To sit down for sushi with a hungry bear

A narwhal sat crocheting with his twisty tusk

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 16:47:01

A narwhal sat crocheting with his twisty tusk
While a talented penguin started to busk

MissAdventure Sat 10-Aug-19 16:48:54

A narwhal sat crocheting with his twisty tusk
While a talented penguin started to busk
A whale did a dance

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 16:52:23

A narwhal sat crocheting with his twisty tusk
While a talented penguin started to busk
A whale did a dance
Which began a romance

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 10-Aug-19 16:56:46

A narwhal sat crocheting with his twisty tusk
While a talented penguin started to busk
A whale did a dance
Which began a romance
They flirted from dawn until dusk.

Then a herd of reindeer went on the rampage

MissAdventure Sat 10-Aug-19 17:01:12

Then a herd of reindeer went on the rampage
They were protesting about being beige

FarNorth Sat 10-Aug-19 17:16:53

Then a herd of reindeer went on the rampage
They were protesting about being beige
'Give us pink!' was the cry

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 17:22:30

Then a herd of reindeer went on the rampage
They were protesting about being beige
'Give us pink!' was the cry
Only got blue was the reply

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 17:31:34

Then a herd of reindeer went on the rampage
They were protesting about being beige
'Give us pink!' was the cry
Only got blue was the reply
You can be rainbow if there's rain dear, said the sage.

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 17:34:12

Oops!

But you need to blend in said an Arctic fox

FarNorth Sat 10-Aug-19 17:36:47

But you need to blend in said an Arctic fox
Even though she had tartan socks

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 17:45:07

But you need to blend in said an Arctic fox
Even though she had tartan socks
The reindeers were outraged

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 17:53:19

But you need to blend in said an Arctic fox
Even though she had tartan socks
The reindeers were outraged
They hate to be upstaged

FarNorth Sat 10-Aug-19 19:03:10

But you need to blend in said an Arctic fox
Even though she had tartan socks
The reindeers were outraged
They hate to be upstaged
So started to throw giant rocks.

And now comes a polar bear - Desmond

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 19:29:21

And now comes a polar bear - Desmond
Of reindeer stew he is mightily fond

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 19:34:18

And now comes a polar bear - Desmond
Of reindeer stew he is mightily fond
First he must catch 'em

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 20:40:20

And now comes a polar bear - Desmond
Of reindeer stew he is mightily fond
First he must catch 'em
He mustn't create any mayhem

Amagran Sat 10-Aug-19 23:23:56

And now comes a polar bear - Desmond
Of reindeer stew he is mightily fond
First he must catch 'em
He mustn't create any mayhem
Or be distracted by a polar bear blonde

He decided instead to go fishing

Jangran99 Sat 10-Aug-19 23:45:26

He decided instead to go fishing
Less in expectation ,than wishing

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 10-Aug-19 23:49:31

He decided instead to go fishing
Less in expectation ,than wishing
He reels in a whopper

callgirl1 Sat 10-Aug-19 23:56:44

He decided instead to go fishing
Less in expectation, than wishing
He reels in a whopper
A heck of a flopper

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 00:05:00

He decided instead to go fishing
Less in expectation, than wishing
He reels in a whopper
A heck of a flopper
Then before his very eyes, it was vanishing?

That fish was for my dinner !

crazyH Sun 11-Aug-19 00:20:09

That fish was for my dinner !
If I go hungry. I will get thinner

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 00:25:44

That fish was for my dinner !
If I go hungry. I will get thinner
His rod grew heavy

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 06:14:28

That fish was for my dinner !
If I go hungry. I will get thinner
His rod grew heavy
So he went for a bevy

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 07:22:54

That fish was for my dinner !
If I go hungry. I will get thinner
His rod grew heavy
So he went for a bevy
So the pub was the winner

Let's get away from this animal drivel

Amagran Sun 11-Aug-19 07:31:52

Let's get away from this animal drivel
A cheeky young robot was heard to snivel

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 07:57:51

Let's get away from this animal drivel
A cheeky young robot was heard to snivel
I'm all for high tech

Amagran Sun 11-Aug-19 08:32:44

Let's get away from this animal drivel
A cheeky young robot was heard to snivel
I'm all for high tech
Just needs a big cheque

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 11-Aug-19 08:52:41

Let's get away from this animal drivel
A cheeky young robot was heard to snivel
I'm all for high tech
Just needs a big cheque
But my bank balance is starting to shrivel.

With these computers I'm a bit of a chump

henetha Sun 11-Aug-19 10:02:51

With these computers I'm a bit of a chump
Although I love them they give me the hump

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 10:11:34

With these computers I'm a bit of a chump
Although I love them they give me the hump
With their pages 'not found'

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 10:38:23

With these computers I'm a bit of a chump
Although I love them they give me the hump
With their pages 'not found'
I'm beating the ground

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 11:25:47

With these computers I'm a bit of a chump
Although I love them they give me the hump
With their pages 'not found'
I'm beating the ground
What do they mean by ‘ bump’?

I’m happy with pencil and paper

Grany Sun 11-Aug-19 13:27:18

I’m happy with pencil and paper
You know what a caper

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 15:29:26

I’m happy with pencil and paper
You know what a caper

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 15:30:22

Ooops
I’m happy with pencil and paper
You know what a caper
No buttons to press

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 18:26:26

I’m happy with pencil and paper
You know what a caper
No buttons to press
Although I confess

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 19:08:33

I’m happy with pencil and paper
You know what a caper
No buttons to press
Although I confess
Wading through dictionaries is a right peasouper

On the subject of technology

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 20:11:44

On the subject of technology
And its confusing terminology

Patreesh Sun 11-Aug-19 20:19:37

On the subject of technology
And its confusing terminology
Thank goodness for online assistance

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 20:27:05

On the subject of technology
And its confusing terminology
You need persistence

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 20:50:50

On the subject of technology
And its confusing terminology
Thank goodness for online assistance
From someone who knows of my existence

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 21:39:36

On the subject of technology
And its confusing terminology
Thank goodness for online assistance
From someone who knows of my existence
These lines are getting too long so I give an apology

A gran from Cornwall said sorry

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 21:51:30

A gran from Cornwall said sorry
The other grans all said Don't Worry

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 11-Aug-19 22:14:28

A gran from Cornwall said sorry
The other grans all said Don't Worry
The fun's in the composing

Patreesh Sun 11-Aug-19 22:47:06

A gran from Cornwall said sorry
The other grans all said Don't Worry
The fun's in the composing
Enjoyable? I'm supposing

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 22:57:01

A gran from Cornwall said sorry
The other grans all said Don't Worry
The fun's in the composing
Enjoyable? I'm supposing
If the limerick shape isn't blurrym

There was an old woman of Derry

FarNorth Sun 11-Aug-19 22:58:05

There was an old woman of Derry
Who was often exceedingly merry

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 23:00:31

There was an old woman of Derry
Who was often exceedingly merry
Her family all said

Patreesh Sun 11-Aug-19 23:07:13

There was an old woman of Derry
Who was often exceedingly merry
Her family all said
She's so easily led

Jangran99 Sun 11-Aug-19 23:18:08

There was an old woman of Derry
Who was often exceedingly merry
Her family all said
She's so easily led
After a large glass of sherry!

She insisted on buying a round

callgirl1 Mon 12-Aug-19 00:11:56

She insisted on buying a round
But on opening her purse she found

BradfordLass72 Mon 12-Aug-19 00:32:21

She insisted on buying a round
But on opening her purse she found
A frog and a toad

Patreesh Mon 12-Aug-19 07:52:38

She insisted on buying a round
But on opening her purse she found
A frog and a toad
Made her scream out loud

Jangran99 Mon 12-Aug-19 09:18:35

She insisted on buying a round
But on opening her purse she found
A frog and a toad
Who jumped in the road

WOODMOUSE49 Mon 12-Aug-19 10:28:21

She insisted on buying a round
But on opening her purse she found
A frog and a toad
Who jumped in the road
Right into the jaws of a hungry hound.

The hound felt ill and was sick

Jangran99 Mon 12-Aug-19 10:39:50

The hound felt ill and was sick
We'd better find a vet quick

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 12-Aug-19 10:50:23

The hound felt ill and was sick
We'd better find a vet quick
He needs to be fast

henetha Mon 12-Aug-19 10:53:14

The hound felt ill and was sick
We'd better find a vet quick
He needs to be fast
His stomach is vast

WOODMOUSE49 Mon 12-Aug-19 11:57:22

The hound felt ill and was sick
We'd better find a vet quick
He needs to be fast
His stomach is vast
The vet? No, the hound you dipstick!

The vet arrived in a hurry

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 12-Aug-19 13:13:31

The vet arrived in a hurry
"I've got just the thing, not to worry,"

WOODMOUSE49 Mon 12-Aug-19 14:14:57

The vet arrived in a hurry
"I've got just the thing, not to worry,"
He reached into his bag

FarNorth Mon 12-Aug-19 20:17:32

The vet arrived in a hurry
"I've got just the thing, not to worry,"
He reached into his bag
Gave the hound a quick jag

WOODMOUSE49 Mon 12-Aug-19 21:17:54

The vet arrived in a hurry
"I've got just the thing, not to worry,"
He reached into his bag
Gave the hound a quick jag
Who got up and sped off in a flurry

The vet said £60 please

Jangran99 Mon 12-Aug-19 21:52:19

The vet said £60 please
The price of my expertise

FarNorth Mon 12-Aug-19 23:39:49

The vet said £60 please
The price of my expertise
He'd saved the hound's life