It's really advice I need. I long to get close to my daughter in law but feel I fail. She is always very polite and we get to spend a lot of time with the children mainly to suit my son and daughter in laws work commitments. Yet still I feel this lack of warmth and closeness. Her Mother is deceased and she is always anxious to promote her own family who all live away. I understand this but sometimes would appreciate a little more sense of affection. Whilst we have no problem with the giving of our time to help them both to work it would be nice just to feel a little appreciated simply by being able to talk to us on a personal level. Just wondered if anyone has had a similar experience.
Well, a few writers have thunk it, anyroad! Jared Diamond springs to mind and Elaine Morgan. I'm sure other people can mention more. The point is that grandparents help with childcare and with their wisdom acquired over the years. From a purely genetic and survival point of view, after parents, grandparents are the people most closely related to their grandchildren and so also the most likely, in biological terms, to help ensure their grandchildren's survival. Evolutionary psychology, that's the term I was searching my brain for. There's an interesting, and thankfully slim, volume called The Truth About Cinderella on this very subject by Martin Daly and Margot Wilson.