Gransnet forums



(22 Posts)
lucid Fri 19-Aug-11 16:40:59

Thought you all might like was sent to me by a friend.

Good morning. . . .. At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.. Beeeeeppp ....
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre start talking we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

greenmossgiel Fri 19-Aug-11 16:46:21

So good to see that the list of options seem to apply to so many of us......! hmm

glammanana Fri 19-Aug-11 18:30:32

Was that my DD calling ? sorry I missed you baby

crimson Fri 19-Aug-11 18:34:27

That's wonderful. The best answerphone message I ever heard was 'sorry we can't answer the phone at the moment but please leave a message after the tone and we'll get back to you..........but ONLY if we LIKE you!!'

Granny23 Fri 19-Aug-11 21:29:09

I have just received this by e.mail and as I do not know how to start a new thread I hope you do not mind if I add it here.

To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan bsp;'s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.
One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.
Here are the lyrics she used : -

(Sing It!) - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things...

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd
that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.
Please share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humour with others who would appreciate it)

jangly Fri 19-Aug-11 22:01:42

Urban legend.

jangly Fri 19-Aug-11 22:02:20

The rumour started circulating in 2005. Bit late aren't you?

crimson Fri 19-Aug-11 22:29:37

There's something rather Victoria Wood'ish about it; or Pam Ayres.

em Fri 19-Aug-11 22:39:04

If granny 23 has just received this and chose to share it , does she deserve to be criticised for being a bit late? I am sure many posters won't have seen this and may just enjoy it.

Jacey Fri 19-Aug-11 22:47:47

Absolutely true em ...never seen before ...and did sing it my head smile

Notsogrand Fri 19-Aug-11 22:53:13

Thanks Granny 23, really made me smile. Can identify with most of it too!

crimson Fri 19-Aug-11 22:59:32

It's reminded me that I'm off on holiday tomorrow and I haven't packed my 'gel bunion pads' sad is that!

jangly Fri 19-Aug-11 23:08:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susiecb Sat 20-Aug-11 08:52:41

I've been having less than charitable thoughts about my children this week who only seem to ring me when they want something and I felt guilty so its nice to know I am not alone in these thoughtssmile

Annobel Sat 20-Aug-11 09:11:11

Enjoy your holiday, Crimson, with or without bunion pads! I forgot my iron pills and had to pick some up in Boots at St Pancras, so you are not alone.
Susie, why not ring them when you want something - surely you can think of a little favour they could do you?

Zephrine Sat 20-Aug-11 09:12:47

Oh dear Gally has my husband and now you have my children smile

Zephrine Sat 20-Aug-11 09:13:28

susiecb that is!

greenmossgiel Sat 20-Aug-11 11:15:46

Loved the song - and I couldn't give a toss who sang it!! By the way, susiecb, you're definitely NOT alone in having what you feel are 'uncharitable' thoughts! I always tremble when a text comes through and I recognise it as being particular DC's or DG's, because I always know what it'll be be about. Money or a lift somewhere! However, as from this morning, lifts anywhere will no longer be an option. Our car is going to live with my daughter and her family. We've given it up as it's too expensive to run and our bus passes will be used with much gusto! smile

nannym Sat 20-Aug-11 19:18:01

Granny23 I hadn't heard of this version of Favourite Things, so thank you for bringing it to my attention. Really enjoyed it, and hope that you won't be put off posting!!

FlicketyB Sun 21-Aug-11 19:09:37

Actually I hated it. Why is everything funny about age always harping on about being senile and incompetent. Of course some people get to need or use some of these things but other things are just passing concerns. I developed cataracts in my early 60's, possibly because I was very short sighted. The replacement lens were made up to my prescription and as a result for the first time since I was 10 I now no longer need glasses or contact lens. It is fantastic. It is fantastic, no lost glasses to look for, no not being able to read anything until I find them. Lets sing the praise of old age.

For women no periods, retired from work so free to spend ones days as one wants, ample time to do all those things you never had time to do before, for me it is archaeology and a return to decorative needlework and gransnet, not doing things if you dont want to, if you have a late night you can sleep in, no travelling in the rush hour, no worrying about work and whether one may be made redundant, no mortgage, All the confidence that age and experience gives one.

Lets gather songs and verse that celebrate old age, excepting that one about wearing purple that always speaks to me of stagnation and dementia.

jangly Sun 21-Aug-11 19:16:46

The purple one has been done to death.

And there's nothing in that poem that I'd want to do.

Learn to spit! eeuurgh!

jangly Sun 21-Aug-11 19:19:33

I just like the last three lines.