Gransnet forums



(37 Posts)
gracesmum Thu 17-Nov-11 22:56:35

Various posts, and most recently one from Gamma makes me wonder if we set too high a standard for grandparenting?I hear of Grannies who seem to have inexhaustible energy for their GC, who springclean their DDs' houses or do their ironing in between taking the GC to the swings, baking a pizza with them and also filling the freezer. (And that is just before lunch!)
Seriously, do set too high expectations of ourselves? Surely our GC will love us just as much if we are not would be clones of their mummies?
Are we trying to prove something.........hmm ?

Carol Sun 20-Nov-11 17:11:18

Don't you just wish you had a headful of ready retorts for such occasions numberplease! Maybe it's a good job we don't because it would be so tempting to reply to the £1 an hour comment 'how interesting that you want me to know this. Has it helped you to feel any better about yourself?' Then, you could smile sweetly and walk off to the sound of her spluttering........ But as we're not small-minded like her, we're above all that, aren't we? thanks

Butternut Sun 20-Nov-11 17:21:23

How dare she, numberplease. She's clearly lacking in the kindness you have in spades!

numberplease Sun 20-Nov-11 18:32:59

We just try to avoid her if possible. At the funeral of her husband, she thanked us for coming, called us Mr and Mrs xxxxxxx, yet we`ve known each other for over 20 years, so I pointed this out to her and said why didn`t she call us by our first names, as we do her, the reply was, "But I was brought up properly, to be polite to others!"

Annobel Sun 20-Nov-11 19:06:16

numberplease, this must be a miserable and embittered old woman if all she can do is bitch at you. You are doing something for your GS that money can't buy. You are giving him your care and your love which she doesn't know the meaning of. thanks

GoldenGran Sun 20-Nov-11 19:13:11

Have been away so have just seen this. gracesmum, it's not what we can do it's the love we give, the songs we sing , the smiles the hugs jokes or whatever it is that makes us all individual and unique to our Grandchildren. Whatever works, we all give something.

johanna Sun 20-Nov-11 22:50:18

That's it, numberplease.
From now on this woman will be known as Hyacinth Bucket!!!!!!!!
She is, isn't she?

numberplease Mon 21-Nov-11 17:16:20

Not as posh as Hyacinth, Johanna!

gracesmum Mon 21-Nov-11 18:17:45

Numberplease, I think I detect a possible recipient of the apron mentioned in another thread..........certainly this lady gives female dogs a bad name. What a .....!angry on your behalf!

bagitha Mon 21-Nov-11 19:31:23

Poor Santa!

JessM Thu 24-Nov-11 11:36:55

Gracesmum I can see exactly what you mean. i don't think it is a gran thing, I think it is a woman thing. Running around caring for others has almost defined the lives of many older women. It is still the case that working mothers do more than their fair share.
I remember being at a bbq a few years ago at my son's. The men were doing their thing, playing with fire, annoying the neighbours with the smoke, burning the meat etc
3 other women there - all educated women in their 30s . What a display of eager domesticity! Just how many desserts did we need for a dozen of us??? It was great, cos I could sit there with my feet up while they elbowed each other aside in the kitchen.
Even those of us who grew up with feminism and take pride in not being wonderful housewives, are probably still pretty domesticated in some respects... I am a self confessed messy so-and-so but still, when DIL recovering from giving birth for instance, cleaning her kitchen, doing the washing etc
Trouble is that sometimes there seems to be no balance between meeting the needs of children and grandchildren and looking after ourselves. If not ourselves we all know people...
What I think is :You can't look after others, unless you are looking after yourself.

Padge Sun 27-Nov-11 16:51:25

Like most granparents both myself and my husband do far too much for our family, espcially grandchildren - but we wouldn't have it any other way. I love them to bits and spend as much time as possible with them which is not always easy as we still both work. My own grandparents were virtually non-existent and really didn't want to know so I don't want my grandchildren to feel that way.