Father Christmas

When my daughters were small, like dizzyblonde children, their stockings were from Father Christmas and all other presents bought by relatives and friends. The stockings remained until they left home (long after they had realised the truth). They are both mothers themselves now and my grandchildren believe the same. Eventually they too will realise the truth, just as their mums did but no doubt the stockings will still continue until they to leave home too.

I don't think you need to make a big thing of it either way. When mine were small , stockings were from Father Christmas and all other presents were from relatives/ friends. The children just gradually realised that the stockings came from us as well.
No big drama about lying etc.

My mother, who would now be 97 if she were still alive, apparently was teased as a child for believing in FC. So she made sure none of her children thought he was real. That didn't stop us having stockings etc etc and I don't think knowing 'it was Daddy really' reduced the fun of it. Like other contributors, I have doubts about any kind of dishonesty with children - I guess most of them cope fine when disillusioned, but for a certain proportion it is devastating and personally I don't think it's worth the risk to those few. So my children also always knew it was Daddy and Mummy. I actually don't know how all my DCs have handled it but certainly one has taken the 'FC is true route'. However he lives in the Middle East and last year ordered most of his presents, including FC presents, to be delivered to me in the UK as I was going out for Xmas.

Unfortunately the luggage system at Heathrow broke down and most of the luggage for my flight on Christmas Eve, including mine, was left behind. So I arrived in the early hours of Christmas morning sans presents. My son had a few things so we faked a note about problems in the production line or something, saying the rest would arrive in due course, and put that in their stockings with the few we could rake up. However when the arrival of the remainder coincided rather closely with the arrival of my luggage, DGC aged 9 & 7 soon sussed it. Somewhat to my relief I must say, as I thought that it was high time they knew the truth!

Like so many issues, I don't think there's a right answer, there are different approaches and each of us makes our choice. Which is well illustrated in the postings on this issue!

Don't worry, Burgundy. When my GD1 was about 4, I took her to the opening of the summer 'Play Palace' at the town hall. Postman Pat, a familiar on-screen figure - was there, with Jess the cat. She had the chance to say hello to him, but chose to hide behind me. She is now a perfectly normal and outgoing almost-20-year-old.

burgundy, in another thread you said your youngest GC is not yet two years old. Children of that age are often afraid of/not keen on/reserved with strangers. I would guess that that's all it is with the little one.

Libradi, my daughter has done the message from Santa for her children for the last 4 years since she came over here. The two older ones loved it and still do, while the little one is very excited. The only thing is he loves the video message, he likes pictures of Santa but he will not go near him for a photo or get a present!

In the shopping mall recently the two bigger ones had a photo done with Santa but the little one - no way. At the school concerts he refused to go and get his present and sent big brother to do it!

Perhaps he will outgrow it, but maybe not, there are people scared of clowns etc so maybe there are those scared of Santa. Knowing some strange person can get into your house, down the chimney even, and get in your bedroom can be scary I suppose.

What a good way of 'playing the story', veronica, and what an excellent way to help children to learn to distinguish between fiction and reality.

When our children were very young we explained that FC was a fun thing, a tradition that we kept up every year. WhenDD was about 2 she had a red coat so we dressed her up as FC and she pulled in a box of presents which she distributed. She loved it. I could never bring my self to say that FC was real. It seems wrong to deliberately lieto one's children.

Libradi I sent the link you posted to my daughter to use and my grandson loved it. It was great! Thank you.

My dear DiL gives everyone a stocking on Christmas Eve, and it's something I'd never had. I get ridiculously excited by it.

Last year I did a 'Message from Santa' online for my DG www.portablenorthpole.tv she loved it and the other day said to her mum that he hadn't sent one this year, DD replied that it was probably because her computer isn't working at the moment but maybe he might send one to Grannie's. Sent daughter a message earlier to say that Santa had sent DGD a message on my computer for DGD instead. Five year old DGD was so excited, she said 'I kept talking to him and asking him to do it and now he has'! Can't wait for her to get the video message tomorrow when she comes in.

I took grandson 5 to see Father Christmas today as Oswaldtwistle Mills (just across the road from us).......it was £5...what!! a rip off!! saw father christmas ...no photo had to take your own..then got a present....opened the present and ...wait for it!!!! it was one of those long bubble sticks (blow bubbles)..and ready available from the £1 shop!!! I was disgusted..!! to say the least....yes I know it should be worth £5 to see grandson with father christmas...but to be honest I would rather have bought him a present that was worth £5...instead! I feel sorry for anyone that tok families..

We let our two daughters decide when Father Christmas became a legendry figure and when the older one decided he didn't really exist we told her NOT to disolusion her sister.

In England we had fireplaces one of our houses and it wasopen for Father Christmas for the other we said we had left a key for him!

Over here we didn't have fireplaces in our two previous houses. When our daughter came to join us and brought a 5 and 3 year old we said the key had been left in the barn where Father Christmas would park the reindeer! This house has a HUGE open fireplace and Father Christmas will have no problem getting down it. At 10 and 8 the two older ones still believe in Père Noel and at 21 months the little one certainly does.

I won't say there is no such thing. Last year our grandaughter said someone had said at school he isn't real and she told him off in no uncertain terms. She may be nearly 11 but does that matter?

G23 not mythical, read your Josephus!

My children aged 50, 48, and 40 yrs all still believe in FC !! . When they were young we told them that if they didn't believe he would not come , so of course they still believe . FC comes every Xmas eve and leaves them each a present - this is in addition to their regular present of course . Who is the idiot in the family ??

Or Julia Donaldson's "Zog" about a trainee dragon and a strong minded princess?

granny23, love your feminism! Do you know the book called The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch? Great story about a strong female and a narrow-minded wimp of a prince.

grannylin is my DH your DHs long lost brother,my DH still insists that surprise is put on tree for our three,and they all have Christmas stockings that used to belong to his dad,they are the original WW2 army socks and they get filled with apple orange nuts and choc money,we live on our own but these have always been put up in the house for when they call on Christmas morning,this was the only thing I really missed when we lived abroad.

Good for your mum. I grew up between 5 and 11 in an all female household, but those male deities still presided. Even Jack Frost occasionally came by.
grannylin what is he like!!?? playing santa to grown up sons. I guess all of us have issues about our kids growing up...

I have pictures of my grandmother dressed as Santa Clause, (I never met her) and my mother always was the one to dress-up. My grandfather died at a young age, and my father was too pissed to bother.

Mum did a great job, and was a wonderful role model.

Where did we go wrong?Until two years ago DH was staying up way past midnight to tiptoe into kids (30,28,26,22) bedrooms to hang up stockings and drink the sherry.... I tried many times to tell him they had guessed it was him and not Santa! Thankfully both sons got married last year and now have their own Christmas Eve !!

Hear Hear JessM and Granny23

Cinderella, SnowWhite, Hansel & Gretel, et al = all plauged by females - wicked stepmothers, witches, etc. until rescued by the handsome prince. We banned the usual books of fairy tales and replaced them with feminist versions for our DDs.

I once upset an NCT committee by pointing out that Punch and Judy appears to glorify domestic violence. And it does. Even if he does get his comeuppance, he's still the star of the show.

Jess - your post reminded me of the Women's Aid meeting, over 30 years ago, when we agonised over the local Round Table's offer to send their official Santa (the one who went out on their float collecting for the 'needy') to our party, complete with ready wrapped brand new presents, or, to stick to our usual custom whereby Mother Christmas did the honours. I am afraid to say the thought of the ready wrapped presents swung the vote and Santa it was.

This kindness from the Round Table continued and they adopted us as one of their charities, sent Santa every year and built outdoor play equipment for both refuges. Surely (we agreed) men with feminist principals are to be encouraged?