New grandchild

Thanks everyone. The assistant midwife and health visitor came to see Tobi yesterday. The midwife said because he still has jaundice my daughter will have to take him to the late jaundice clinic. The health visitor said probably wasn't necessary as he had put on about 100gs in one week. The midwife has a 'tick list' and if jaundice hasn't gone after 2 weeks - off to the clinic! Luckily my daughter's best friend is a midwife and warned her about this. She managed to persuade the midwife to wait until Tuesday and see how he is. He's eating well, content, not listless and he seems less yellow everyday. The health visitor was more sensible and agreed with my daughter.

She's not getting much sleep as he wants to feed most of the night and my grandaughter has taken to waking up around 11.00 and turning up in their room and climbing into bed with them and going off to sleep! Four in a bed and the little one said roll over!!! I'm sure she will get over this night waking soon after the excitement has settled down. She missed her mummy very much and it's probably praying on her subconscious so she's checking mummy is still there.

Janthea my daughter has made the same comment about her midwife - that she has a list of targets and has to tick each one off. The prem baby midwife still visits and one grandaughter has more vitamins or minerals (shipping container of stuff - I don't remember what they're all for) than the other because she remained jaundiced for longer. Both babies are thriving (although they work nights!). It's an exhausting time and the last things newly-delivered mums need is implied criticism or invented problems.

If little Tobi has put on 100 grams in a week, and is feeding frequently to increase his supply, he is doing a grand job for himself.

carol My thoughts exactly. He lost a lost of weight with the first week's problems and has some catching up to do so he won't regain his birth weight that quickly. His sister took 4 weeks to regain her and she also had jaundice. He definitely getting enough milk. When he comes off the breast his little mouth is full of milk. He doesn't wail with frustration or hunger. He suffers with a little wind, but that's a different cry.

Congratulations janthea-my daughter gave birth to a baby boy on New Years Eve-a month early and by c section. Saw him for the first time today in his incubator-poor little boy! he is so tiny (less than 4 lbs) but perfect and doing well!
Not so his mother who had to have and emergency op which traumatised her. She is now in agony and unable to visit her baby when ever she wants to. Although I wanted a grandson I sometimes wish my daughter had never got pregnant! she has had a lot of trouble through the pregnancy and things are still not right. It broke my heart to see her today upset and in pain, not able to feed or even hold her baby whenever she wants and in too much pain to ask for what she wants.
That is until pushy mum demanded care for her from the nurses who seemed pretty lax-she was left in pain, not showered, not told what was happening with her baby, not advised on stimulating her breasts for feeding, not seen her baby that day. They all jumped when I demanded all this but why should I have to ask? even if short staffed it is appalling that my daughter was not given the attention she needed until I asked them for it!
Shall be back tomorrow and hope to see improvements all round!
Anyone else had any similar experiences? How soon should my daughter expect to be a bit feeling less pain?

Congratulations Speldnan on your new year surprise,and I hope your dd starts to feel better soon.
How dreadful that they are neglecting your dd, and how lucky that she has a caring mum like you to get them moving!
It's a disgrace that the nhs is in such a mess.

Congratulations Speldnan to you and your daughter. Emergency procedures are traumatic and it is dreadful that you have to demand what should be readily available in the way of care

Speldnan you are in good company here, with quite a few new babies and their mums having emergency C sections. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your tiny grandson. I have 9 week old twin grandaughters who were 2 lbs and 2 lbs 10 ozs at birth, but now at home and over 5 lbs. Being a pushy mum does come in handy at times like this - I found myself advocating for my daughter a few times in hospital, suggesting things that the nurses should have already thought of. Very different on the neonatal unit - they were on the ball about everything, thank goodness.

Your daughter should be having effective pain relief and being helped to see her baby whenever she wants to. The only time the neonatal unit will ask her to wait is if the doctor is in the room where your grandson is, so they can discuss interventions and progress with the nurses without being overheard by the parents of other babies. Otherwise, it is 24 hour access for mums and dads.

Ask the nurses for an electronic breast pump for your daughter to have by her bed so she can express her milk for her baby and build up her supply. There should be a collection of pumps, which she can take home too - don't buy one! She can tell the nurses she wants to breast feed and must be told when baby is due a feed so they don't resort to a bottle first, knowing there will be her breast milk on hand if she is not there. If baby isn't suckling just yet, he should be allowed to practise before they top him up with the gastric tube, using mum's breast milk. They will offer to top up with donated breast milk if she hasn't built up sufficient supply, and this is screened and sterilised, so is perfectly safe.

I found it daunting to walk into the baby unit and see babies being x-rayed, scanned and tested in all sorts of ways, but this is routine and babies need as much contact with mum as possible, even if she is taken there in a wheelchair. Let us know how she's getting on, won't you?

Congratulations Speldnan

Congratulations Speldnan on the birth of your new grandson. I have a seven week old granddaughter born 3½ weeks early. I hope things improve quickly for your daughter.

Congrats speldnan - maybe not a happy experience, but a happy outcome. From my experience (1st C section an emergency, 2.3 and 4 elective)it took me exactly 8 days (the time we got in hospital in the "good old days") to feel able to "cope". I know C section mums don't get anything like that nowadays, but up to that 8th day I just had to go on taking the paracetamol, then suddenly I realised I could actually move without wincing too much. Going home helped too. So good luck to you all!

speldnan It was the same with my daughter. Tobi was in the neonatal unit and one of midwives said to my daughter than someone could come along and help her express her milk. Three hours we were still waiting. We were told that they were changing shifts and another midwife was pointed out to be the one taking over. When I went over to her to ask about help she said she wasn't working on this ward!! They they said they couldn't find her notes. So - pushy mother that I am - I went in search of a friendly midwife. She found the notes and came and helped my daughter and stayed with her for a while. We know they are overworked but sometimes I felt they needed more organisation. Rather like builders, they would start doing some with one patient, get sidetracked and go off and do something else, completely forgetting the first patient! The difference when she moved into a private room for two nights was unbelievable. I think that saved her sanity. The nurse and midwives in the neonatal unit were wonderful. Practically one to one! The private room cost more than a 5 star hotel in London but they are hoping to get a contribution from BUPA!

thanks everyone for the congratulations and encouragement. My daughter recovered of course and is successfully feeding her son and expressing milk for his feeds when she is not there. She is a devoted mum though it is very hard for her and her partner as they have no car and have to either travel an hour on public transport to the hospital every day or pay £30 a day for taxis (my daughter is still to weak to go on PT so taxi it is!)
The nurses in the SCBU are very good with the babies although draconian about visitors! my parents would like to see their great grandson but even though I am the only grandparent visiting they say they my parents cannot see the baby! my mother has written to the trust to complain!
The baby is doing well-regaining his birthweight and just today had his nasogastic tube out in favour of breast and bottle! real progress and I hated the tube as it must have been uncomfortable for him. No real idea when he can go home but he has to put on 180 gms first.
Hope all the new grandchildren are doing well.

just noticed all the typos-sorry!

Good news that things are progressing Speldnan. What a shame your daughter has to travel by taxi to visit - does the hospital have a league of friends who could offer to help with lifts for the cost of petrol - there are good compassionate reasons, and she must surely be high priority. The social worker at the hospital could give advice.

My daughter's twin babies had to reach 1500 grams, be feeding sufficiently to show consistent weight gain, maintain their body temperature in the normal baby cot, and have saturation levels of oxygen in their blood that did not dip below 92 when they were feeding, which demonstrates they are swallowing and breathing well, before they were discharged. The community prem midwife then started visiting and will stay with the family till the babies reach 6lbs.

We found that one of the twins does not feed as well since having the naso-gastric tube in for longer, and she needs preemie teats that are softer and more controllable. The hospital have these, so they are worth taking home just in case, otherwise they can be slow to gain weight.

Hope we hear more about how they are doing x

Nice to hear how yours are doing too, Carol.